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I have really had about all I can take from my 7 year old. First off he still wets the bed. We have a plastic sheet on his bed to prevent anything from going on the mattress, he wears a goodnight to bed at night and we have those despoable mattress pads for on top of the sheet. Second off he has taken up lying to us. Last night Dh got the boys ready for bed. I came in to tuck them in and before I tucked my 7 year old in bed I asked him if he had a pull up on. He swore he did. I believed him because Dh helped them get ready for bed. This morning after the boys left for school I went in there room to check for dirty clothes and basically just straighten up. I went to put his bear in his bed and check his despoable mattress pad and I noticed his comforter was soaked along with the despoable mattress pad and sheet. I was confused. I was like, "seriously you peed through your pull up that much?" I looked around for his jammies so I could throw them in the wash with his blanket and sheet. I found them stuffed all the way to the back of the under side of his bed. There was no pull in the trash nor with his clothes. Just a pair of wet pants, undies and shirt. Get where I am going with this he lied about wearing a pull up. Last thing that is absolutely driving me crazy with my son is the fact that he won't go in his room, got to the bathroom or basically go anywhere by himself. If I ask him to go brush his teeth he will make any and every excuse why he can't by saying things like, "I'm waiting for brother to come or I need you to help me." If I ask him to go take his shower he will ask if I will sit in the bathroom with him or if he can leave the door open. If he needs to go potty he will drag the dog back there with him. I am sick and tired of having to follow him around the house or having to get on him about doing what he needs to do with having to have someone with him. Please tell me I am not alone. That there are other mom's out there having similar issues.
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by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:41 AM
Replies (21-30):
Mrs.Winchester
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 4:22 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm not an expert but I've been through similar issues with my step children and DD (who is much younger, only 4) and I believe it's manipulation.  The fact you're letting him wear pullups is enabling his bed wetting and preventing him from stopping.  I think you need to just put your foot down.

Quoting linzrenae:

I am a school nurse aid and I have 6 year old student that does the same thing only he poops his pants all the time. We figured out that he does all of it for manipulation. He tries to hide the fact he pooped his pants by doing multiple diffrent things, but it is not because he is insecure at all. He also had to have someone by his side in everything he did, whether it was a parent, teacher or brother/sister. After we stopped giving into him and letting him have his way all the time, he was a totally diffrent kid in 1 week. (there was ALOT of crying and tantrums involved) He has so far had 1 accident in the last 8 weeks and we are all very proud of him. Mom still gives into him at home and allows him to wear pull ups and sleep with a pacifer but it really didn't take much to turn his behavior around at school with a little consistency.


mom2_3blessings
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 4:51 AM
Wow my dd 7 does the same thing and I would kill myself if I felt as you do ... I would bend over backwards and break my back for my child to feel safe and comfortable and if it took me sitting in the toilet watching her brush her teeth ill do it everyday . My dd never hides her accidents from me.... And that's just what they are accidents she doesn't have to hide because she knows I care and will fix the issue right away. Ugh....
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sweetgrlangel
by Bronze Member on Dec. 14, 2012 at 4:57 AM
1 mom liked this
It's normal for boys to wet the bed til they are 12. My 8 year old does. He wears pull UPS and still soaks his sheets and blankets almost every night. My son also suffers from bladder spasms as well. There's no need to be mad with him over something completely natural.
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Ocdpa
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 9:07 AM

Bed wetting is actually pretty common. It's not something he wants to do and unfortunately he's probably very insecure about it. Give him a break.

LoveMyLos
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 9:11 AM
My 7 yr old still pees every night. I finally just bought him good nights yesturday. Too much laundry. No reason other than hwavy sleeper. He will everythin.g else by himself though.
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CountryGirl0809
by SWEET-PEA on Dec. 14, 2012 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this
This.


I'm a grown woman and still scared of the dark! So I could imagine how a kid would feel in the middle of the night.


Quoting Holztastic:

Okay lady, scared does NOT equal lazy.

I'm backing out of this post before I say something rude.

Quoting Kageegirl:

Yes he has no medical issue that is causing his bed wetting. He is just a heavy sleeper and lazy. Doesn't want to get out of bed when he does wake up because he is too scared and sleeps to hard most nights to notice he does it.





Quoting frndlyfn:

It sounds like he is very insecure about things.  The hiding of wet clothing and not using what he needs would frustrate me.   I am presuming he has been to the doctor about it to rule out any medical conditions aside from immature bladder.




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stranded
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 10:17 AM

I don't know if anyone has asked this but has there been a change? Sometimes any kind of change can make a child feel insecure. But I would not chalk it up to laziness. My child is ten and still wets the bed. I know sometimes you want to shake them and say "What is your problem!" I try to let it go and not make him feel bad about  what goes on even though sometimes you want too. You are definitely not alone in this. If you cannot think of anything that may have triggered his insecurity, try refusing to give in. If that does not work, you might have to live with it because he is only seven. He may need soap for the lying though. Good luck.

kansasmom1978
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree. If my child was afraid, I would do what I could to make her comfortable. She's 7 and afraid of the dark. So we put the snake in her room, his heat lamp provides a small amount of light and she feels safe. If your child is scared you do something about it. Not make him feel like he's doing something wrong. He's not lazy, he's terrified to get out of bed.

Quoting mom2_3blessings:

Wow my dd 7 does the same thing and I would kill myself if I felt as you do ... I would bend over backwards and break my back for my child to feel safe and comfortable and if it took me sitting in the toilet watching her brush her teeth ill do it everyday . My dd never hides her accidents from me.... And that's just what they are accidents she doesn't have to hide because she knows I care and will fix the issue right away. Ugh....


Motherwannabe12
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 10:38 AM

My oldest nephew had this same problem. They did a renal scan on him as well. They eventually found that his bladder would spasm and cause him to wet the bed without waking up. He was on pills for it up into his teens. This was after several years of being chastised and humiliated by his mother and told he was doing it on purpose and was just being lazy. He was horrified of her and humiliated that he couldn't control his own bladder. And yes, he was also afraid of the dark so he wouldn't get up after dark to go to the bathroom even if he was able to wake up before the accident happened.

I'm not bashing, I'm just saying that maybe there's more going on that they haven't looked into yet? It took them a few years to figure it out with my nephew. 

Quoting momma-flynn:

He's not lazy. That's a bullshit excuse on your part. I had to have a renal scan when I was his age because my parents couldn't figure out what to do. My kidneys were fine, but I was a very heavy sleeper. I had an alarm that would go off if I wet the bed (you may want to look in to them). I would sleep right thru it but the rest of the house woke up. No one could ever figure it out. I have heard that certain food allergies can cause bed wetting, so if it were my child, that would be a route I would look in to. Another thing I would suggest is to talk to him about his dreams. I have very vivid dreams. I finally learned to train myself that if I had a dream that I was either looking for a toilet or sitting on one that I needed to wake up asap. He's obviously embarrassed about the issue since he is not wearing the training pants & hiding the accidents from you. Poor kid.  

Quoting Kageegirl:

Yes he has no medical issue that is causing his bed wetting. He is just a heavy sleeper and lazy. Doesn't want to get out of bed when he does wake up because he is too scared and sleeps to hard most nights to notice he does it.


Quoting frndlyfn:

It sounds like he is very insecure about things.  The hiding of wet clothing and not using what he needs would frustrate me.   I am presuming he has been to the doctor about it to rule out any medical conditions aside from immature bladder.


 


Momtogirls0823
by Gold Member on Dec. 14, 2012 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this

I have a 6, almost 7 year old dd.  She is afraid of the dark and she is a very smart, independent girl.  The fear is perfectly normal.  I also have a 9 year old dd who occasionally wets the bed.  What turned it around for us was cutting out any type of pull-up, Goodnites training pants, etc.  We just have the Goodnites bed mats on her bed.  Also, patience is key!  I know it's hard, but you just gotta keep the faith that it will get better.  I don't know if the dr. told you this but it is true that you have to wait until their bladders are mature enough to stop making urine.  That time is unique with each child.  I would def. address the lying and hiding of clothes.  Try to be patient and let him know you are there for him.  Express that you are not upset about the bedwetting, just the lying.  Maybe even set up a reward system for dry nights.  Might be worth a shot.  I think if he knows  you are on his side with this it might make things easier.  Good luck!  Believe me, I know it's not easy but it can be done!  Hugs!

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