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mommy/wife advice wanted!!!!! :/

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:58 AM
  • 46 Replies
First off I would like for you girls to know that I am a mother of a beautiful 1 year old daughter... and I am married to my 20 year old husband (duh lol)
Ok soo here goes...

My husband was friends with this girl... she's about 17 and before we got married she was his wing chick. They are both members of choir in church and also another singing group. Plus they were neighbors annnd to top it off they went to hs together. Truth is as soon as I became my now husband's girlfriend she pushed me away and treated me disrespectfully. No matter how much I tried to become friends with this girl she would push me away so I got tired of the situation and stopped trying.
when I married my husband everything was fine until a few days ago.

Its weird that when I am with my husband she walks by and she pretends she doesn't know him but when he is alone she approaches him and "hangs out" with him. Their level of confidence was so high that she asked him if he knew what copulation was.. (which means to have sex). I was so pissed off that I told him that if he didn't talk to her.. I would.

So behind my back he sent her a message saying that I didn't like the way they talked blah blah blah and that he couldn't treat her like one of the guys basically I found out and i asked him to see the message but he had already deleted it FAIL I felt betrayed and like he was hiding something from me but i trusted him although I feel like Ishould have a talk with this girl. Not tell her off or start a fight but just let her know that i know about the message and that I'm not stupid....

I also want to be clear that Iam not jelous of her but of the replationship she has or had since they are no longer talking with my husband. I know that at some point they are going to talk again specially since its easy to bump into her at church since she is all over the place.. but Iwant her to keep in mind that I'm not going down without a fight and that she should keep back and be more respectful towards my husband now that he is married..

What do you think????
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by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CreziaMommyTo2
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:09 AM
9 moms liked this

1st off you sound like you are still a HS girl as well... see what i highlighted in red... he did do what you asked of him, he spoke with her... but yet you still got pissed at him.

Also the fact that you had to explain to us what copulation means, basically screams, i am a HS girl trying to fit in, and sound smart...

you, sound VERY jealous of her... 

i am going to end it here, because this HS shit gives me a headache, you are a mother, grow up... if this shit really bothers you, then you both arent ready to be married

Quoting JadesMommy01:

First off I would like for you girls to know that I am a mother of a beautiful 1 year old daughter... and I am married to my 20 year old husband (duh lol)
Ok soo here goes...

My husband was friends with this girl... she's about 17 and before we got married she was his wing chick. They are both members of choir in church and also another singing group. Plus they were neighbors annnd to top it off they went to hs together. Truth is as soon as I became my now husband's girlfriend she pushed me away and treated me disrespectfully. No matter how much I tried to become friends with this girl she would push me away so I got tired of the situation and stopped trying.
when I married my husband everything was fine until a few days ago.

Its weird that when I am with my husband she walks by and she pretends she doesn't know him but when he is alone she approaches him and "hangs out" with him. Their level of confidence was so high that she asked him if he knew what copulation was.. (which means to have sex). I was so pissed off that I told him that if he didn't talk to her.. I would.

So behind my back he sent her a message saying that I didn't like the way they talked blah blah blah and that he couldn't treat her like one of the guys basically I found out and i asked him to see the message but he had already deleted it FAIL I felt betrayed and like he was hiding something from me but i trusted him although I feel like Ishould have a talk with this girl. Not tell her off or start a fight but just let her know that i know about the message and that I'm not stupid....

I also want to be clear that Iam not jelous of her but of the replationship she has or had since they are no longer talking with my husband. I know that at some point they are going to talk again specially since its easy to bump into her at church since she is all over the place.. but Iwant her to keep in mind that I'm not going down without a fight and that she should keep back and be more respectful towards my husband now that he is married..

What do you think????


gsmom9
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:17 AM
1 mom liked this

im so sorry mama. you cant change him or her, but it might help you to get it off your chest, how you feel. i dont have an idea, why its so stylish to try to get husbands to cheat. she sounds like an evil one

mysticalmalissa
by Ruby Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:20 AM
3 moms liked this

.....I need coffee.

rayroe2
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:37 AM

Me nor my husband have friends of the opposite sex. We are either friends with couples or the same sex. I don't play those games when it comes to sneaky women.

JadesMommy01
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:43 AM
@CreziaMommyTo2 Maybe I'll admit I'm jealous... my self esteem dropped after I had my baby and I started gaining weight... I am now at my pre pregnancy weight though and i have regained my confidence... the way I see it.. I know its not only her fault, if my husband wouldn't get along with her the way he does she wouldn't have the confidence to keep doing it. And ur right but I guess what I wanted him to do was to tell her that HE didn't feel comfortable talking to her like he used to instead of saying... she doesn't like it..

and no I'm not a HS girl trying to fit in and sound smart...



And thank you for the reply... I actually needed someone to open my eyes and tell me up front that I'm the one tripping out... not him
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icn_mom
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I would have him invite her over for dinner. That way its on your turf and your rules. if she starts to get snarky, you can call her out on it without feeling bad, since she is sitting at your dinner table! i think your husband disregaurding your feelings and sending her the email after you told him you want to be the one to deal with this situation was down right rude and sneaky! unfortunatly though I could blame some of the ignorance on his age. (20 is very young in man age lol). I do see that a close friend could be considered "one of the guys", but really, giving him a vocabulary quiz on other ways to say sex?! take that pup into your wolves den and school her mama!!

Creek_Momma
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:23 AM
I'm a bit confused....so her asking him if he knew what the word copulation meant is her hitting on him? Are there other ways she has tried to hit on him? Has he flirted, or whatever you want to say, back?
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calsmom62
by Gold Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:54 AM
4 moms liked this
Find some couples from church to be friendly with, and explain to your dh that women who only speak to married men when their wives aren't around are up to no good. He should let her know that its not your short leash on him that keeps him from hanging out with her, but his desire to respect and honor your marriage.
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meka26
by Silver Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:33 AM

You should not say anything to her unless she say something to you. She does not have to be your friend. You should talk to your DH about it and leave it alone. Trust him to handle it, and if you can't do that then maybe you all should not be married.

MtnDesertMama
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:13 AM
2 moms liked this

I've been married for 22 years and the one piece of advise I give younger couples is, "Don't expect him to be perfect". Seriously, if you don't want him to expect you to be perfect in everything then don't be upset if he isn't perfect in everything. 

You were upset he told her you were uncomfortable with her talking to him the way that they do, yet did you specifically tell him "Don't talk to her about this, let me do it". Or instead, did you tell him to stop talking to her this way. Think of how you said things and how he'll perceive them. Remember, what maybe clear in your eye/ears may not be to his. See things from his perspective, they never dated right?, they've been friends for life right?, what he sees when he looks at her is just this friend he's always had. How would you like it if he said you couldn't be friends with someone you've known for so long? 

Just take a breath, and learn to trust that he loves you, not her YOU! Trust that love and it'll grow and in 20 years you'll have a very best friend you'd trust with everything. 

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