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coming out of the broom closet this holiday season... just a tad annoyed

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:28 AM
  • 14 Replies
Ok, so I am trying to be positive and accomodating, but I do not know exactly how accomodating I should be. I am Wiccan. I have been for 14 years and am just now deciding to go open with it. I go to a UU church, so for last last bit of my life I have just let people think I am an agnostic.

Tomorrow is Yule and my kids are going to open presents from Santa (yes, we do Santa too!) So I invited my mom's friend over to open presents with my kids. My mom and my best friend will be there too. My mom's friend asks why we are opening presents tomorrow instead of on Christmas so I tell her and then she says, "oh, well I will have to think about that, but I think I will wait till Christmas for them to open mine." I said that was fine because I love her and I am glad she got my kids something. It was sweet of her, but would she do the same if my kids were Jewish? This is my religion. Not just some silly thing I am doing to be odd. My sister in law is Jewish, but she did not mail then Hankkah presents. So I am just a little annoyed.

Also, I don't know how to use spell check on the tablet. So, sorry about that.
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JessicaEOH
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:32 AM
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I don't think you should be annoyed. If you don't want them to open them on Christmas, tell her that....she doesn't want to do it tomorrow because it's not her belief, just like Chrostmas isn't yours. I know you're grateful for the gifts she got your kids, so I'd just let it go.
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starlighthippie
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:35 AM
I want to let it go, but even though Christian isn't my belief I still buy my Christian friends Christmas presents, not Yule presents, and my Jewish friends Hanukkah presents,KWIM?
JessicaRee
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:42 AM
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Use it as a teaching opportunity for your kids. It's a good opportunity for them to experience more than one religion under your supervision.
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ninipanini
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 6:34 AM

 yule, christmas, solstice, they're just words that describe a celebration

i know some families that open a week before and after Dec 25, some do it on New year's eve...

we celebrate xmas, i have a  solstice ritualt that we'll do tonight AND a couple of things planned for Sunday(neither solstice or xmas or yule) but I call them all christmas stuff as a shorthand

 

TableforSeven
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 7:47 AM

We are Jewish, our families are Christian.  We give them gifts on their holiday.....they return the kindness by giving our kids gifts in Hanukkah (our holiday).  I always felt it was 'proper timing' to give gifts on the holiday te receiver celebrates....not the gift-giver.

shivasgirl
by Platinum Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 8:02 AM

I am a stickler for tradition. I am Hindu and we pretty much celebrate everything. Our dog is Jewish so we celebrate Hanukkah for him, we make traditional foods and only the dog gets Hanukkah gifts. We alsoread the Hanukkah story and light the menorah...we celebrate Yule with Wiccan friends. Santa is never included in this. We feast, have a solstice ritual, feast and drum all night. Starting tomorrow, we will begin the Christmas festivities, Santa will come on Christmas Eve and we celebrate the appearance day of Lord Jesus...I have been running in Wiccan/Pagan circles since 1995 and I have never known any of them to incorporate Santa into Yule...After Christmas, we celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas which ends on Jan 6, the Feast of the Epiphany. That is the day we take down the decor and start planning Imbolc and valentine's day 

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 8:20 AM
I would let it go. I believe it's the thought that counts. I am Jewish, DH is not, neither is my SIL (brother's wife). The kids get their Hanukkah gifts at Hanukkah and somehoe it's evolved that adults get them at Christmas. I wrap my parents' gifts in Hanukkah paper and put them under my tree.

If you're going to see her on Christmas, then I would be OK with waiting until then so she can see them open them (that's half the fun!). If you're not going to be seeing her, then I would've nicely explained that you prefer the gifts be opened on your holiday. While I see your point, I wouldn't let it bother me or ruin my holiday celebration.
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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 8:21 AM
Oh and kudos to you for not making an issue of it. It's a great way to teach tolerance to your kids. =)

Quoting coolmommy2x:

I would let it go. I believe it's the thought that counts. I am Jewish, DH is not, neither is my SIL (brother's wife). The kids get their Hanukkah gifts at Hanukkah and somehoe it's evolved that adults get them at Christmas. I wrap my parents' gifts in Hanukkah paper and put them under my tree.



If you're going to see her on Christmas, then I would be OK with waiting until then so she can see them open them (that's half the fun!). If you're not going to be seeing her, then I would've nicely explained that you prefer the gifts be opened on your holiday. While I see your point, I wouldn't let it bother me or ruin my holiday celebration.
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GaleJ
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:03 AM

Firstly and most importantly welcome out of the broom closet. We are non-deist UU Pagans with some particularly Wiccan customs and so we particularly welcome you out. I hope your congregation is accommodating to your new declaration, we have, at times in the past, ritually welcomed those that chose to come out.

As to the gifts I think I would ease off and just ask this woman when she would like her gifts to be opened, since she is giving them and could just as easily brought them over nearer to or on Christmas. Not everyone will be comfortable with your new status, some may get more comfortable in time but others may not, ever. Some will be just sceptical but keep it to themselves while others may voice their surprise/concern. Especially if this is an older woman she may not be fully aware of beliefs such as ours and may simply be comfortable enough with you to be able to express that. It may be either a teachable moment or a lost cause, you never know.

May your family have a joyous Yule/Solstice. May you experience the blessings of both the dark and the light for neither could be appreciated without the other. On this the longest night may you know the joy of a dark winter sky filled with the brilliance of a million stars and the warmth of fire and the comfort of being surrounded by those you love, blessed be.

momofsixangels
by Ruby Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 9:42 AM


Quoting JessicaRee:

Use it as a teaching opportunity for your kids. It's a good opportunity for them to experience more than one religion under your supervision.

This


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