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Surprise party for my mom- WWYD? *Small update (of sorts)

Posted by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 2:49 PM
  • 19 Replies

This year (well, 2013), my mom is turning 50. She and 2 of my sisters live in Florida. I live in Colorado and another sister lives in Mississippi. We're trying to plan a surprise party for her, but we're having a hard time figuring out when to do it.

Her birthday is in mid-October. My kids will be in school (DD will start in August- 1st grade, and DS1 should start after Labor Day- preschool). The sister who lives in Mississippi also has a kid who will be in school.

Now, I usually go down once a year with the kids to visit for a few weeks, usually in late spring. This year, since I have 3 kiddos, I'm going to drive (flying would be a nightmare doing it alone with 3 kids-lol). Two of my sisters and a cousin (who's like a sister) have suggested doing it in October. I told them I can't. The kids will be in school and it would cost a fortune to fly down just for the weekend ($2500 for 5 of us- plus car rental and hotel rental). I can't spend that AND come down once DD is out of school for the summer.

Another issue we have to work around is one of my sisters (one in Florida) is pregnant and due in July. lol. I had suggested August, before school starts, but I think my nephew starts at the beginning of August and DD will start around the 19th (guessing). June is another option, since it'll be before my sister gives birth, but she thinks it'll be too early.

So, my question is- what would you do? My mom was planning on flying here to ride back with me, and I thought that might be a good time to get things together in Florida (while she's out of town). Then, we'd go to my sister's house (the preggo one- she has a pool and nice backyard) for a BBQ or something and SURPRISE! lol.

Do you ladies think June is too early for an October birthday? Unless my DH gets a promotion and starts making almost double what he is now, going down over the summer AND in October is just going to be way too expensive. And my mom would know something's up if I didn't come down over the summer.

*Small update (mostly a vent)

So, I thought we were just down to two time frames- June and August. I talked to the sister that's pregnant and suggested June because then she won't have to worry about the baby and germs. She said she didn't want to do it then, because she doesn't want to have a party while she's 9 months pregnant. Then she said she just wants to do it in October, we could do something with "just us girls" while I'm down over the summer, and then they can Skype me for the actual party.

I am so hurt and upset by this. I don't get it. My mom would rather have all of us together then do something like that and have 2 of us (the other sister who lives in Mississippi) on a webcam. I mean.....I don't get it. June and August are "too early" but having something without her kids there is ok?

I've cried about this. This is my mother, and a milestone birthday, and I wanted to be there to celebrate it with her. I miss out on so much already because I live in another state......it just seems unfair that my sister (and another sister) insist on doing it in October (when everyone will be working 12+ hour days, 6 days a week). I don't know what to do. I haven't really responded yet, because it is still only January, and I'm still very upset that I'm being excluded like this. I take everyone else in to consideration, especially on a decision like that, and my sister just won't budge. I don't want to say anything yet while I'm upset because I know there's a good chance I'll regret it down the road.

What would you do if you were in my position? Unless someone offers to fly us all down there for that weekend (to the tune of $2500), we can't go. I'm not taking my kids out of school for a week, and I'm not limiting my family time (our annual trip) to just 3 days (which, is what it would be- we can afford to go down once). What would you do?

by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 2:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 2:54 PM

In an ideal world, June would be too early for October. But it's not an ideal world and it will be a hell of a surprise 4 months in advance! 

babygirlsmom314
by Corinne on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:01 PM
She woudnt guess that there is going to be a surprise party that early. I say go for it.
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CampClan
by Bronze Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:14 PM
Yeah I agree! No one excepts anything 4 months before their birthday! I am trying to get something thought up for my mom's 60th next March. I am hoping I can get my brother to come up from Virginia for the weekend. But he's in the military so idk if that is possible. Maybe I can Skype him in for a few minutes?
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gilbertgrl627
by Platinum Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:17 PM

Skype might work. It would be one hell of a surprise if he could be there for the party. lol. We did that for my dad's 50th.....snuck my grandma down from her house and hid her until the party. lol. He wasn't expecting me (I lived 3hrs away) or her. Great surprise!

I'd consider just going down myself, but my mom would be mad if I showed up without the kids. lol.

Quoting CampClan:

Yeah I agree! No one excepts anything 4 months before their birthday! I am trying to get something thought up for my mom's 60th next March. I am hoping I can get my brother to come up from Virginia for the weekend. But he's in the military so idk if that is possible. Maybe I can Skype him in for a few minutes?


gilbertgrl627
by Platinum Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:20 PM

I know. If I could drive, I would, but it's almost 30hrs from here to there. I know I could do it, but adding 3 kids to the mix, and I wouldn't be able to make it in 2 days. And since flying is so freaking expensive....well, Delta has been the only airline so far that will give me a price that far in advance. We usually fly Southwest, but they only go to August.

Quoting JulyBabies:

In an ideal world, June would be too early for October. But it's not an ideal world and it will be a hell of a surprise 4 months in advance! 


CampClan
by Bronze Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:22 PM
My mom would be mad if my brother showed with no grandkids too. Lol But then again she would have to deal with my SIL who we are not fond of. But if she didn't come we'd have to hear about that too. I just PM'd my brother on FB about it & asked him not to say anything. I know if he does say something to his wife she would spill the beans.

Quoting gilbertgrl627:

Skype might work. It would be one hell of a surprise if he could be there for the party. lol. We did that for my dad's 50th.....snuck my grandma down from her house and hid her until the party. lol. He wasn't expecting me (I lived 3hrs away) or her. Great surprise!

I'd consider just going down myself, but my mom would be mad if I showed up without the kids. lol.


Quoting CampClan:

Yeah I agree! No one excepts anything 4 months before their birthday! I am trying to get something thought up for my mom's 60th next March. I am hoping I can get my brother to come up from Virginia for the weekend. But he's in the military so idk if that is possible. Maybe I can Skype him in for a few minutes?


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gilbertgrl627
by Platinum Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:23 PM

Thanks! It won't be a huge thing. Just something "small" with my grandpa and aunts/uncles (her siblings) and a few key people. I was thinking a backyard BBQ with some old home movies and pictures, and then we can watch one of her favorite movies. Pinterest had some really great ideas. My mom is very low-key, and I think something simple would be perfect.

Quoting babygirlsmom314:

She woudnt guess that there is going to be a surprise party that early. I say go for it.


gilbertgrl627
by Platinum Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:25 PM

lol, Yeah, that's why we're keeping the lid on this for now. My sisters and cousin know (and my DH) and that's it. Anyone else would flap their gums and she'd know. lol. And I'm definitely not telling my kids because if it goes the way I had planned, they'd for sure spill the beans on the drive from here to Florida. lol.

Quoting CampClan:

My mom would be mad if my brother showed with no grandkids too. Lol But then again she would have to deal with my SIL who we are not fond of. But if she didn't come we'd have to hear about that too. I just PM'd my brother on FB about it & asked him not to say anything. I know if he does say something to his wife she would spill the beans.

Quoting gilbertgrl627:

Skype might work. It would be one hell of a surprise if he could be there for the party. lol. We did that for my dad's 50th.....snuck my grandma down from her house and hid her until the party. lol. He wasn't expecting me (I lived 3hrs away) or her. Great surprise!

I'd consider just going down myself, but my mom would be mad if I showed up without the kids. lol.


Quoting CampClan:

Yeah I agree! No one excepts anything 4 months before their birthday! I am trying to get something thought up for my mom's 60th next March. I am hoping I can get my brother to come up from Virginia for the weekend. But he's in the military so idk if that is possible. Maybe I can Skype him in for a few minutes?



babygirlsmom314
by Corinne on Dec. 26, 2012 at 3:31 PM
that sounds like a fun time.

Quoting gilbertgrl627:

Thanks! It won't be a huge thing. Just something "small" with my grandpa and aunts/uncles (her siblings) and a few key people. I was thinking a backyard BBQ with some old home movies and pictures, and then we can watch one of her favorite movies. Pinterest had some really great ideas. My mom is very low-key, and I think something simple would be perfect.


Quoting babygirlsmom314:

She woudnt guess that there is going to be a surprise party that early. I say go for it.


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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Dec. 26, 2012 at 4:22 PM
it's more important that the family be together. If only June works, do it then.
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