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Marriage advice, how to gain respect

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:44 PM
  • 30 Replies

I'm in a loveless marriage we hate each other, it's both of our faults. In the last seven years I think the last time I was happy was on my wedding day. My spouse has no respect, always puttin me down, yelling at me etc. anything I ask or request is never met. I wish he would cheat and go . In the meantime how can I get him to respect me. He will not go to marriage counseling. When we argue whether I'm wrong or right I end up apologizing and agreeing just to make the yelling stop. He is very difficult he is a know it all that it's his way or he will lecture you until you give in! We are together 24/7 he is my boss all day for everything! Please advice, don't suggest divorce it's not an option. I have changed who I am, lost the person I was its really horrible


Thanks in advance

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lovinsweets
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:45 PM

BUMP!

MusherMaggie
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:48 PM
2 moms liked this

Go to counseling yourself even if he won't go. The relationship is psychologically abusive to you, and you do not deserve this. You do need to get out of that relationship, even more so if children are involved.

southernbelle07
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:50 PM
My husband and I were like that once. In all honesty, you both have to be willing to work on what is wrong for it to work. Talk to him. You both need to figure out what is wrong, and how to fix it.
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Kenre
by Ruby Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:52 PM
Bump.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:54 PM
2 moms liked this

If he is literally your boss as in you are employed by him, find a job separate from him. It is very hard to be with someone all day working with/for them and then come "home" to them, hard to separate the relationships. Plus a change of scenery and different people will help make you feel like yourself again

dommad2
by Tamara on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:55 PM
Agreed!
You've also told us how he treats you OP but how do you treat him. Please be 100% honest or we can't help.


Quoting southernbelle07:

My husband and I were like that once. In all honesty, you both have to be willing to work on what is wrong for it to work. Talk to him. You both need to figure out what is wrong, and how to fix it.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
dommad2
by Tamara on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:56 PM
That's a good idea!! To much time together can damage a relationship more than not enough sometimes.

Quoting JulyBabies:

If he is literally your boss as you are employed by him, find a job separate from him. It is very hard to be with someone all day working with/for them and then come "home" to them, hard to separate the relationships. Plus a change of scenery and different people will help make you feel like yourself again

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
noahscott
by Silver Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 8:59 PM

have you tried to sit down and ask him not to speak and tell him you are unhappy with your situation and you would really appriciate it if you both could express your feelings and try to calmly take turns talking CALMLY to work on your marriage together. and while one person is talking the other will not, and each will express their feelings and then try to understand the other side. its hard to stay calm sometimes yes, and its hard work, but as long as he's willing to try, you can work things out.

Lovinsweets
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:32 PM

I think I treat him good, I give him whatever he wants I can't explain it but my ideas are always ridiculous to him, I try to be understanding I just feel he abuses me all day.

Yes he's my boss boss, he decided to create a company and I work for him, he made me kicking and screaming I was against working for him I didn't have a choice, I never had a career only jobs. I'm with him 24/7, I can't even remember the last time we were affectionate. I day dreamed of being a mom and raising my kids, makin my husband home cooked meals so not what I got!!

I just feel its never ever what I wanted only what he wants and needs

I am a mess, disorganized behind on everything bills laundry etc. I do spend a lot of time outside smoking having wine so I'm not a super wife but I feel overwhelmed and sad

I help at the office and he touches nothing at home just micromanages

Lovinsweets
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:35 PM


Quoting dommad2:

Agreed!
You've also told us how he treats you OP but how do you treat him. Please be 100% honest or we can't help.


Quoting southernbelle07:

My husband and I were like that once. In all honesty, you both have to be willing to work on what is wrong for it to work. Talk to him. You both need to figure out what is wrong, and how to fix it.

I responded below I hit reply instead of quote

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