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I can't be in this marriage anymore :( update...

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Please bare with me. We have been married 6 years, we have two kids and I'm 33w pregnant with number 3. Over the past two years my husband has changed, a few years ago he just up and left for no reason and I didn't hear from him until he came home 6 days later, he had been at his mothers. Bottom line I now have extreme anxiety if I don't hear back from him. He does whatever he wants, I don't remember the last time we had a real conversation. This baby I'm pregnant with he didn't want me to keep, I feel like he resents me for keeping him. Tonight he's out for New Years, no idea where, wont return messages or phone calls and I am in tears. This isn't the full story but I hate feeling like this, I feel like he just doesn't care, the only time we interact is during sex. I feel alone and I'm scared of what ill become if I leave him, I'm unhappy now but I'm afraid of becoming depressed and anxious if I leave. He probably wouldn't even care. I always pretend to be in a happy marriage but here it is, this is how it really is. I just needed to get this out. Thank you to anyone who read this

UPDATE
So I packed up and left with the kids yesterday and went to my parents. They have helped out with the kids while I have some time to sort things out in my mind. I finally lost it and told dh exactly how it is. We're are seeing each other Sunday to talk, I will tell him everything, how I feel, everything. I will finally stand up for myself. Ill also ask him what he wants and get to the bottom of that finally and go from there. But I think this will be it, after I see him Sunday I don't think there will be any going back
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by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 6:47 AM
Replies (51-60):
lovelove211
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Thanks momma


Quoting ShortMommytobe:

Honey you will be okay if you leave him... Your heart will heal, but you dont deserve that...

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lovelove211
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:34 PM
Thank you. I will update as all of you women have had such comforting supportive things to say. Thanks :)


Quoting Kmakksmom:

I totally understand where you are right now.  What he's doing to you is emotional abuse at the very least.  There is more than likely sexual abuse in there somewhere too.  Get out while you can before things get even worse.  There are resources available to help women in your situation.  You can do it.  You sound like a strong woman.  Good luck and if you can please keep us updated. :)


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msbottle
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 11:37 PM

I don't think you or you kids deserve this kind of treatment go with your heart I am sorry you are going through this 

Kmakksmom
by Stefanie on Jan. 1, 2013 at 1:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Wonderful!  You are very welcome.  *hugs*

Quoting lovelove211:

Thank you. I will update as all of you women have had such comforting supportive things to say. Thanks :)


Quoting Kmakksmom:

I totally understand where you are right now.  What he's doing to you is emotional abuse at the very least.  There is more than likely sexual abuse in there somewhere too.  Get out while you can before things get even worse.  There are resources available to help women in your situation.  You can do it.  You sound like a strong woman.  Good luck and if you can please keep us updated. :)



GaleJ
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 1:57 AM

I don't want to criticize or bash but I think you should consider counseling. It sounds as though you two have become disconnected and you may need a third party to help you reconnect. It could be that he can't come to terms with a pregnancy that he didn't want and doesn't know how to deal with that or with you because of it. PLEASE for every one's sake, you, your husband, and your children try to work this out. I understand that you are dealing with a lot with the situation with your husband, the pregnancy, as well as your anxiety but the best way to get to a better place is through the dark place. My thoughts are with you, may you find a place where you can all be happy and move forward whether together or not.

rriley
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 2:16 AM
I was in your situation about 4 years ago. I became a single mom while pregnant with my 3rd child. He was doing the same things your husband is doing. It has been a hard road but I have learned so much and I am so much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I was worn down to feel like I was nothing and now I know better. My kids are a lot happier now it seems, well that is until their dad does something to upset them but they are learning that he just isnt a great person. Good luck mama!!!
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rainmommy
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:34 AM

time to leave

RoseWall
by Platinum Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 3:39 AM

hugs.

lovelove211
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:53 AM
Thank you for replying to this. How is life for you now?


Quoting rriley:

I was in your situation about 4 years ago. I became a single mom while pregnant with my 3rd child. He was doing the same things your husband is doing. It has been a hard road but I have learned so much and I am so much stronger than I ever thought I could be. I was worn down to feel like I was nothing and now I know better. My kids are a lot happier now it seems, well that is until their dad does something to upset them but they are learning that he just isnt a great person. Good luck mama!!!

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charlierock
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:16 AM
I know how stressful it can be to imagine yourself alone without him but you like everybody deserve to feel love, reassure, and deserve a present boydriend/daddy. It will feel scary for a little while but after you'll be install and free you can't imagine how freedom feel good, how you'll feel stronger and proud to have done this for yourself.

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