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**sigh** my poor sister :-( looks like we have plans for NY's after all.....

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so my sisters J & L are getting together with their men and friends at L's house in saskatoon for a NY's poker party, and rocky really wanted to go. 

but L told mom "no, she will just kill our buzz and we will have to babysit her"

Rocky has been very melancholy, saying she has no friends to celebrate with, no one loves her, all that stuff. 

mom called me sounding very sad, and weary, she said rocky had gouged her face with her fingernails, leaving deep marks, and she is worried that rocky might be suicidal.

mom and her SO had just planned on having a quiet night at home, me and dh had the same idea. 

but mom is desperate to get rocky out of the house, so it sounds like they will be driving 2 1/2 hrs to get here, so they can "party"  with us.

which of course i am completely fine with.

but i am so mad at J&L.  fucking assholes. less than a year ago our sister shot herself, and was lying in ICU for 2 months, another 4 months in recovery, we are so lucky she didn't die. 

and now, what, not their problem? ugh!!!!!! i am so ashamed of them right now :-(

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:16 PM
Replies (11-20):
D.O.E.
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:12 PM
Quoting babyspots17:

Sorry but I can't really blame them. I understand as her siblings they should help but do you really think "partying" with her is the best solution? Your sisters are partying with their menwhich she doesn't have and their friends which I am guessing she is not friends with soshe would be alone with no friends depressed drinking alcohol(guessing). That would be setting her up for disaster. She is much better off with your family and your parents in a small family fun atmosphere. She obviously needs magor help but if I remember correctly she isn't really helping herself and getting/following the help she needs. (Could be wrong.) Good luck hopefully you can have fun and keep her safe hope 2013 is a better year for your family!
well as if she couldn't sit and play poker and drink a near beer? i mean....how harsh is that? "no, we dont want her here" like fuck sakes. she is getting therapy and has a shrink and an ABI, but she lies about her feelings and tells them what they want to hear. it is very frustrating.
D.O.E.
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:13 PM
Quoting Nathans_mom0612:

Just trying to makevsure i have the right story. Is this the sister that shot herself in the head and your in laws were being real mean to you?

I am very sorry your family is going through this.
yep. thats me :-(
Nathans_mom0612
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Quoting D.O.E.:




Aww...I'm so sorry. I hope your sister eventually gets the help she needs. It's a long road, but it can be done. Hugs!

~Melissa~Wife to Jarrod~Mommy to Nathan, Kristina, Tyler, and Ryan~

D.O.E.
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:41 PM

ya....it's going to be a very long road, by the looks of it. like, ok so she gets an ABI, see's her once a month? every two weeks? somthing like that, and she has a psychiatrist, not sure how often she see's her, but i do know she has had A LOT of help along the way, medically. 
thank god for sask health.

it's just sad, and hard to watch. painful, actually.  

Quoting Nathans_mom0612:

Quoting D.O.E.:




Aww...I'm so sorry. I hope your sister eventually gets the help she needs. It's a long road, but it can be done. Hugs!


sampson200
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:50 PM

So very very sorry about the difficulties your sister has had to entail, OP.

That said, I do understand your other sisters' misgivings in having her with them.

They will probably be drinking and whatnot, and with someone with mental illness...well, mentally ill people should not be drinking.

And new years can be a time of great sadness for many people; and I envision a very very sad Rocky that evening, having to be cared for and watched over as she is upset about having no one in her life while your two other sisters want to enjoy their evening with their boyfriends.

It would put rather a damper on the entire evening and not help with familial relations in the long run and your sisters might end up more resentful towards their sister.

And one night together on New Year's isn't going to make Rocky feel any better about her mental state, her life, or her future, is it, really?

I know, I feel like such a Debbie Downer...but . . . well. . .

If I was in your situation, I wouldn't really change my plans.

I would still have a quiet evening at home with the family, and yes, she can join you, but there won't be anything huge happening.

She has to learn how to make her own happiness and get stable with meds and therapy. A night out isn't going to make her feel any better about herself.


marysmithy
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:52 PM

I wouldn't want to hang out with her either but I hope she's in some counceling, poor thing.

D.O.E.
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 4:17 PM
Quoting sampson200:

So very very sorry about the difficulties your sister has had to entail, OP.

That said, I do understand your other sisters' misgivings in having her with them.

They will probably be drinking and whatnot, and with someone with mental illness...well, mentally ill people should not be drinking.

And new years can be a time of great sadness for many people; and I envision a very very sad Rocky that evening, having to be cared for and watched over as she is upset about having no one in her life while your two other sisters want to enjoy their evening with their boyfriends.

It would put rather a damper on the entire evening and not help with familial relations in the long run and your sisters might end up more resentful towards their sister.

And one night together on New Year's isn't going to make Rocky feel any better about her mental state, her life, or her future, is it, really?

I know, I feel like such a Debbie Downer...but . . . well. . .

If I was in your situation, I wouldn't really change my plans.

I would still have a quiet evening at home with the family, and yes, she can join you, but there won't be anything huge happening.

She has to learn how to make her own happiness and get stable with meds and therapy. A night out isn't going to make her feel any better about herself.


don't get me wrong, i understand where they are coming from, they have to deal with her a lot, as they live closer to her than i do, but it just came across (to me) as a little bit harsh. and i got her 0.05% beer. fake beer. so she can feel cool....
silverdawn99
by Jamie on Dec. 31, 2012 at 4:47 PM

I understand where your other sisters are coming from. not saying its right but if she is sucidial and something happened they will be blamed

MrsRinehart2010
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 4:50 PM

 not judging but why isnt she in a care facility to where she can be monitored if she is suicidal? Jw .Either way gl tonight

mrs.Martinez201
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 4:52 PM
If she's acting like that she needs to be hospitalised, and they shouldn't have to spend their night watching her. Neither should you
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