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how would you handle....

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:58 PM
  • 6 Replies

my ex and i have been divorced almost 2 years, and we have (just turned in the last week) 5&7 year old boys, my ex inlaws hate me and say that my ex was justified in cheating on me most of our relationship bc he is the only child and can do no wrong pretty much, they like to say hese things in front of our kids and tell the kids that im crazy and a bad mom, i am also a pretty health concious person and dont let them have things like pop and overly sugary things or fast food except on rare occasions so they like to give them pepsi and candy in huge excess to "make up for" that and every time the kids get sick, my oldest will actually break out in hives, ALSO (i know lots of info here) my ex told me that when he was little his dad sexually abused him so i am not exactly a big fan of the man being alone with my kids... the other day my ex (who lives way far away from us) told me his dad wants to come get a hotel and take the kids for a weekend, he also wants to take them for summer break and stay with his family (last time they went with him it was for 2 weeks to visit family/the flavor of the week and they wouldnt let the kids call me or answer when i called them)

so... my question to all moms but especially ones with comparable situations what the hell do i do here? i seriously dont feel comfortable letting a man with a history of sexually abusing his own son take mine for a weekend, and i also dont feel like they should talk about me the way they do not just in front of my kids but directly to them.... advice?

 

Clarification!! i have no intention of letting the ex father in law take the kids, i am looking for a constructive way to handle what obviously needs to happen here, as much as they like to talk and start stuff i think just telling them they can be around them alone will make it worse so i am looking for a way to do it thats not so in your face i guess, keep the peace kinda thing...

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 5:58 PM
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Replies (1-6):
julienichel
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:16 PM

BUMP!

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:47 PM

no way in heck !!!   no way no how.  I would not want to even risk it.  He can be welcome to visit under my supervision but not alone.

Bknotnobody
by Sadie on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:50 PM
I would be getting it court ordered that your kids can't be around so and so alone.

Time for a lawyer and you can get it court ordered to an extent that they can't talk crap about you. It's something similar to I believe parental alienation could be wrong on my wording here.
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jobo
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 6:53 PM

Really? you need to ask? I  Wouldn't let the kids go there ,with anyone at all..if  you did send them and something happens ? You willing to live with that? Your children will pay the price..

otoole
by Member on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:03 PM

no way, just say out straight, i dont feel comfortable you taking the kids alone like that,.

julienichel
by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 7:05 PM

NOOO lol i have no intention of letting them go with the ex father in law but i also dont know a good way to handle it, if i just say hey your dads a pedofile and i dont want him around my kids my ex will flip out and start drama and make life harder, i am hoping to find a less obvious way to deny it than just saying its not freaking happening! lol

Quoting jobo:

Really? you need to ask? I  Wouldn't let the kids go there ,with anyone at all..if  you did send them and something happens ? You willing to live with that? Your children will pay the price..


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