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need opinions! planning a not so traditional wedding

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OK, here's my first of probably many snags in my plans.
We got engaged over Xmas (yay!)
For health insurance reasons (I have none) obvious tax and legal reasons and the possible adoption of my DS by my DF, we're in kind of a hurry to get the legal and state potion taken care of ASAP.
However ....
an actual wedding, dress, Glam, guests, the whole 9 yards are important and possible to us and our parents. So we're taking the traditional year and a day to plan, save etc,etc.

So how in the world do I sign my marriage license a year before my wedding with out it coming off as tacky, or gift grabby, or whatever bashable term is acceptable lol.
I'm thinking a blessing or maybe handfasting ceremony? His family is Jewish, mine is Catholic and pretty Irish. Help me out ladies!!!!! Interfaith "second wedding"? I'm clueless as to what the etiquette is for such a situation!
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by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:50 AM
Replies (21-30):
gregheather
by Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 9:57 PM

You will have to tell everyone becasue of the adoption procedings - just tell people that you are doing it so that your DS can be adopted and for healthcare reasons. I wouldn't have a ceremony later, just a reception since everyone will know that you are married already.

 

bellaamore
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:03 PM

My cousins did this... They specified on the invites that it was a ceremony- forgot what it was called, a celebration of their love and a begining of them as a family in the eyes of God.

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:03 PM
DH's cousin eloped and then had the party a few months later. Very few they were already married, tthe 2nd wedding was your traditional ceremony and reception.
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SarahCnDsMom
by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:27 AM
I never thought of specifying on the invites! Cause what it will be is a ceremony only. I guess a vow renewal, but I don't know what the Jewish side of the family would call it though. Hopefully some of the priest/rabbis I've emailed will call back soon.



Quoting bellaamore:

My cousins did this... They specified on the invites that it was a ceremony- forgot what it was called, a celebration of their love and a begining of them as a family in the eyes of God.


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bellaamore
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting SarahCnDsMom:

I never thought of specifying on the invites! Cause what it will be is a ceremony only. I guess a vow renewal, but I don't know what the Jewish side of the family would call it though. Hopefully some of the priest/rabbis I've emailed will call back soon.



Quoting bellaamore:

My cousins did this... They specified on the invites that it was a ceremony- forgot what it was called, a celebration of their love and a begining of them as a family in the eyes of God.


I know the invites were more like a heartfelt letter than a run of the mill invite. I talkedaout how precious family and friends were to them and how they wanted to share that time with those important to them. It was really ce.

I also remember them handing out flower seeds with a little poem: he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, we tied the knot" lol

cjsix
by faith on Jan. 4, 2013 at 3:32 AM

 My daughter and son in love were married at the courthouse as they just didn't have the money for the wedding they wanted and didn't want to wait any longer. They hope one day to have a reception and celebrate their marriage and their family.

MaskedMomma
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:47 AM

 

Quoting SarahCnDsMom:

The court house we're doing this year. I think it will just be us and the 2 kids, maybe grandma? Idk. I feel like that part is just a legality. DF says just cause we sign the license doesnt mean we have to tell everyone, and i mostly agree... but to host a "wedding" when your already technically married? I feel like that would be somewhat deceitful ya know? The ladies over at The Knot forums we're pretty viscous to a poster with the same question, they scared me off! Lol

 just be sure not to let anyone know. for my 1st wedding we had a friend who was in school to be a preacher 'officiate' our wedding. but he ended up failing a course and not graduating when he was supposed to. so he couldn't legaly marry us as planned. we stopped at the JP the MORNING of our wedding ceromony. one of the 2 people in attendence opened their mouth about it at the ceromony. everyone flipped out. gossip gossip gossip and a couple people straight up left.

aarensmommy
by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 8:58 AM

my brother and sil had a court house wedding, they needed to get married for ins reasons cuz she was preg. that was last year they are "supposedly" having a traditional wedding this year but i haven't heard anything. they didn't tell anyone but immediate family they were getting married.

gregheather
by Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:43 AM

In most states when you get married (even in the courthouse) it gets posted in the paper under legal notices. The same with adoption papers - unless his bio father has already sighned away his rights you have to post a legal notice of adoption in the paper so that if anyone wants to contest it they can. That will be 2 notices in the paper that you are married - that's why I say just skip the ceremony and have a formal or informal (depending on your style) reception later. It makes it less "sneaky" that way.

lady-J-Rock
by Bronze Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:47 AM
Get married now then do the renewel in a year on the same date.
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