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Once a sex offender always a sex offender?

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What are your thoughts on this?

My dh's cousin had sex with her 13 year old sons best friend (also 13). She served 3 years, was released, and says she is a completely different person now. She says she knows she was wrong.

I don't understand how she don't know it was wrong before, by now she does. Dh thinks I'm judging her too harshly.
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by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:18 PM
Replies (21-30):
TristaB
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:19 PM
Once a sex offender, ALWAYS a sex offender!
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Rain2Rinse
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:20 PM
I'm not really sure. I only see her for the holidays. I know recently she was upset because she wanted to purchase a home but it was too close to a school.

Quoting crafthag:

How can she be allowed near children with that conviction?
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Rain2Rinse
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:20 PM
She's an adult. Mid 40s.

Quoting LilliesValley:

Well in this instance I would say once an offender always an offender. I'm assuming the cousin is an adult here, and therefore if you're an adult you know better-PERIOD.


When you get to a 16 or 17 year old with an 18 year old and parents get involved because they're "shocked" their DD or DS was having sex and they press charges, not so much. But if you're an adult and you're having sex with a child (yes 18 is technically an adult folks I know but come on) then you're not going to change.


I think the younger the child is that a pedophile goes after the sicker they must be. There is no excuse for damaging a child this way. It's so wrong. I think there is a big difference between a 16, 17, 18 and 19 year old but they all have immaturity on their side. Once you get into your 20's IN GENERAL most people aren't so stupid and know what is right and wrong. Not that 16-19 don't know, and their age isn't an excuse but I think sometimes their lack of experience and age causes them to not think.


In this case though any adult knows not to touch a 13 year old child. She didn't serve enough time in my opinion, and my kids would not be around her at all. If DH couldn't get on board that would be tough sit in my opinion. This is your kids safety.

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jpalmer
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:21 PM
Yeah hun...i think butterman's biscuit has been burned on this one!!! Speaking from a victims stand point there is NO WAY in heck I would EVER allow her around my kiddos!!! And IMHO I think once someone is okay with sleeping with a 13yr old 3 times, is NEVER going to change!!! An honestly deserves a longer sentence then what she got...

Good luck on this one...
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mcwife86
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:25 PM

in some cases a sex offender isn't necessarily "sick"...as in the guy that is 19 and his gf is 16. in this case though...yeah i wouldn't trust her around my child. if she had a child the same age as the kid she was doing this too then obviously she had a messed up way of looking at things that i wouldn't chance her alone around other minors. i look at it like this..her playcard already shows her stats and they aint sane. Id also be talking to my husband abt his willingness to defend her. is he being naive because she is family and he wants to believe the best abt her or is it something else. id need to know this if this woman lived in the same town as me so that i can be aware of the chances of my husband taking my son around her without me knowing.

Rain2Rinse
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:25 PM
Ridiculous, right?!

When I called him on the phone, he agreed with me. You could totally tell he was just humoring me and thought I was being overly dramatic.


Quoting jpalmer:

Yeah hun...i think butterman's biscuit has been burned on this one!!! Speaking from a victims stand point there is NO WAY in heck I would EVER allow her around my kiddos!!! And IMHO I think once someone is okay with sleeping with a 13yr old 3 times, is NEVER going to change!!! An honestly deserves a longer sentence then what she got...



Good luck on this one...
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Rain2Rinse
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:27 PM
Dh has this thing about defending his family when he knows they are wrong. I'm not concerned about him taking the kid(s) over to her or anything. It just irks me that he is defending her.

Quoting mcwife86:

in some cases a sex offender isn't necessarily "sick"...as in the guy that is 19 and his gf is 16. in this case though...yeah i wouldn't trust her around my child. if she had a child the same age as the kid she was doing this too then obviously she had a messed up way of looking at things that i wouldn't chance her alone around other minors. i look at it like this..her playcard already shows her stats and they aint sane. Id also be talking to my husband abt his willingness to defend her. is he being naive because she is family and he wants to believe the best abt her or is it something else. id need to know this if this woman lived in the same town as me so that i can be aware of the chances of my husband taking my son around her without me knowing.

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mcwife86
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this

oh i see. i know some people that were raised like this. defend your blood no matter what. i personally think it does a disserviceto the entire family to do so though. If you are wrong your family should be the FIRST one to point it out to you. its dishonorable to shelter someone like that imo.

Quoting Rain2Rinse:

Dh has this thing about defending his family when he knows they are wrong. I'm not concerned about him taking the kid(s) over to her or anything. It just irks me that he is defending her.

Quoting mcwife86:

in some cases a sex offender isn't necessarily "sick"...as in the guy that is 19 and his gf is 16. in this case though...yeah i wouldn't trust her around my child. if she had a child the same age as the kid she was doing this too then obviously she had a messed up way of looking at things that i wouldn't chance her alone around other minors. i look at it like this..her playcard already shows her stats and they aint sane. Id also be talking to my husband abt his willingness to defend her. is he being naive because she is family and he wants to believe the best abt her or is it something else. id need to know this if this woman lived in the same town as me so that i can be aware of the chances of my husband taking my son around her without me knowing.


jpalmer
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 7:31 PM
Just inform him that if you see her around your children then you are going to call the police...and if he wants to avoid drama (which we know butterman...lol) he will make sure she is no where near you or your children...and with your point blank attitude, i know he will understand...


You could always GLITTER HIM!!!! Bwahahahaha >:)


Quoting Rain2Rinse:

Ridiculous, right?!



When I called him on the phone, he agreed with me. You could totally tell he was just humoring me and thought I was being overly dramatic.




Quoting jpalmer:

Yeah hun...i think butterman's biscuit has been burned on this one!!! Speaking from a victims stand point there is NO WAY in heck I would EVER allow her around my kiddos!!! And IMHO I think once someone is okay with sleeping with a 13yr old 3 times, is NEVER going to change!!! An honestly deserves a longer sentence then what she got...





Good luck on this one...
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GUTTADABOSSLADI
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:38 PM

Well to be honest only time will tell, but give her a chance to prove herself. I know a girl who is a sex offender, but the boy lied about his age; he looked older and she hasn't done anything like this since. 

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