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I thought we were TTC, until...

Posted by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:23 PM
  • 9 Replies

So, my DH and I had just *finally* agreed to TTC. I had been waiting for about 2 years (our child is almost 4 years old).

He's always been very careful to prevent pregnancy, and we had been discussing it lately, and he mentioned he'd like me to lose a certain amount of weight first if I would be attempting a homebirth this time. Fine, I agreed with him.
I still haven't lost the weight that I agreed I should probably lose pre-pregnancy. A few days ago, he stopped preventing (right at the end of my ovulatory time, I'm pretty sure). 

Today I was checking his work email from the iPad and it totally backfired on me.
He told his work friend about how stressed out and depressed he is because of all the changes going on at their work, and then mentioned:

Quote:

Plus, I'm thinking we'll probably have another kid by the end of the year. :'(

 

I don't know what to think. :(  I'm guessing it would be wise for me to be cautious and prevent pregnancy in the future.

I was really, really hoping that he would for once be one of those dads who gets so excited about the idea of having another child. That's just not him. *shrug*.    :-/

by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:23 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:28 PM

 I wouldn't be getting pregnant any time soon and it's probably time for you to start taking those precautions on your own!

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this

With all the stress going on at work, I can understand why he would not be excited for more stressed added at home.  Dont take it personally since these are his feelings about things.

southernbelletx
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:29 PM
I'm sorry. I don't understand why he couldn't voice those concerns to you, that's a huge red flag. You guys need to work on communication it would be awful to have him resent another child- that seems to be how he's feeling.
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rawrmommysaurus
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:31 PM

You need to sit down with him and talk about this.  Maybe not mention that you saw the email, just say you want to be sure that you are both on the same page, and both want another child, before you actively start TTC.  If he doesn't come clean with what ever miss givings he's having, then I would say oh well I saw an email you had sent to someone and it did sounded like you didn't want another kid for a while.  

Paperfishies
by Platinum Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:33 PM
If he isn't 100% on board with having another baby, do not have one.
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jenzachsam
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 9:35 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to listen to him and communicate with him about this now or it will backfire on you in the future.  I wouldn't talk or object to him, just let him talk to you first.  I would open it up for him by saying, "I want to know what your true feelings are on having another baby?"  Let him air it out.  If it's due to finances then maybe having another baby would be a bad idea at the moment. 

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this
While I think you both need to communicate and be on the same page, what stood out to me is that you checked his work email. I can see having free access to personal email but not work. If you felt the need to see it, he should be pulling it up for you.
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lil_mama06
by Brian's Lil Vixen on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:42 PM

Hope you and your hubby talk soon..

EAzizM
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 11:07 PM
He isn't ready. Don't do it.
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