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what can you say to someone who is in a forced relationship?!

Posted by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:21 PM
  • 58 Replies

i don't know what to say to my niece anymore she lives about two hours away in a small small town with her husband whom she was guilted into marrying by his parents...she calls or texts constantly about how she doesnt love him and how she doesnt know why it's so hard for her to leave and leave for good they have three kids together and she is pregnant again, she said she feels like he uses her.. he has cheated on her before, she has left him a number of times and he always blackmailed her into going back, this last time she went back to him was cause he told her he had cancer and was going to die and she stupidly believed him..and yes it was a lie he admitted to her when she got back and when she said she was leaving he told her if she left he would post a video of them having sex on the internet..i dont know what to say to her when she asks for advice i feel like theres nothing more to say but at the same time i dont want her to feel there is no way out :(   i hate him so much! for doing this to her and for making her feel trapped!

by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
teenmom0305
by Bronze Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:22 PM
1 mom liked this

BUMP!

jessimicuh
by Bronze Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:24 PM
8 moms liked this
If he blackmails her that's a serious crime..
Even threatening to is a crime.
What she does is:
1. Get proof he's attempting to black mail.
2. March her butt down to police department
3. File a restraining order and press charges for attempted black mail, before blackmail even happens..


Freedom at last!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Nikki286
by Nicoli on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:27 PM
2 moms liked this

Tell her to leave and file for divorce and custody immediatly  to change numbers and not give him her address and only have contact with him through a lawyer that emotional control will only get worse and by allowing herself to be accessable to him it will continue with constanttalking to him. With kids it may be hard but by staying its only showing those kids that that kind of behavior is okay 

macilah
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:30 PM

thanks so much i'm going to tell her about the lawyer parts cause thats the main thing is if he can get a hold of her through a phone he will

Quoting Nikki286:

Tell her to leave and file for divorce and custody immediatly  to change numbers and not give him her address and only have contact with him through a lawyer that emotional control will only get worse and by allowing herself to be accessable to him it will continue with constanttalking to him. With kids it may be hard but by staying its only showing those kids that that kind of behavior is okay 


macilah
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:31 PM
2 moms liked this

thanks we are definetly going to have her do this when she chooses to leave him and if i have to drive her down to the pd my self to make sure she does it i will!

Quoting jessimicuh:

If he blackmails her that's a serious crime..
Even threatening to is a crime.
What she does is:
1. Get proof he's attempting to black mail.
2. March her butt down to police department
3. File a restraining order and press charges for attempted black mail, before blackmail even happens..


Freedom at last!


jessimicuh
by Bronze Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 5:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Nobody deserves to be in a forced relationship


Quoting macilah:

thanks we are definetly going to have her do this when she chooses to leave him and if i have to drive her down to the pd my self to make sure she does it i will!

Quoting jessimicuh:

If he blackmails her that's a serious crime..

Even threatening to is a crime.

What she does is:

1. Get proof he's attempting to black mail.

2. March her butt down to police department

3. File a restraining order and press charges for attempted black mail, before blackmail even happens..





Freedom at last!



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Momyplease
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:27 PM
I agree.

Quoting Nikki286:

Tell her to leave and file for divorce and custody immediatly  to change numbers and not give him her address and only have contact with him through a lawyer that emotional control will only get worse and by allowing herself to be accessable to him it will continue with constanttalking to him. With kids it may be hard but by staying its only showing those kids that that kind of behavior is okay 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SticksnStones
by Bronze Member on Jan. 7, 2013 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this

 I feel pretty much in the same boat (except that he doesn't HAVE a video of us!).  I am leaving in 10 days to another state to stay with family for awhile.  If/when we come back, I will not be moving back in with him.  Tell her to be strong- I personally would risk the sex tape online and send his ass to jail if he posted it.  Or, help her get something on him that he wouldn't want outed about.  (Hit his wallet, if possible.)

mcwife86
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 7:11 PM

if i were her id talk to a divorce lawyer abt leaving, what he does to make her feel 'trapped', and what legally she could do to avoid the issues bothering her.  i saw this same thing go down when i was a kid between my mother and step father. he would tell her that he was going to kill himself, leave messages on her parents voicemail for her saying that if she didnt come home he was going to burn all of her stuff, he would tell me that i don't love him if i helped my mother pack. she stayed with him...went back every single time and its been 22 years now. she is a horribly miserable person and i know that if she would just leave she would be happier. She stayed because she didnt think she could file charges against him enough to keep him away from his son. fact is your niece is on her fourth child with this man that she knows is about as stable as an extremely active fault line. If she leaves him and isnt able to keep him from the kids he will be ALONE with them. free to tell them everything he wants, treat them how he wants, and play all sorts of fun little games with their heads without her there to protect them. if she cant get him arrested, if she cant figure out some way to legally prove he is an unfit father then she needs to sacrifice herself for another 18 years to protect the children she keeps making with this craptastic excuse for a man. hopefully she will be able to get some good legal advice, bide her time collecting enough evidence, and then have him tossed out of all of their lives for good.

macilah
by on Jan. 7, 2013 at 7:36 PM

i completly agree! thats why i feel so sad for her

Quoting jessimicuh:

Nobody deserves to be in a forced relationship


Quoting macilah:

thanks we are definetly going to have her do this when she chooses to leave him and if i have to drive her down to the pd my self to make sure she does it i will!

Quoting jessimicuh:

If he blackmails her that's a serious crime..

Even threatening to is a crime.

What she does is:

1. Get proof he's attempting to black mail.

2. March her butt down to police department

3. File a restraining order and press charges for attempted black mail, before blackmail even happens..





Freedom at last!




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