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I feel like the decision isnt even mine to make anymore

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:42 AM
  • 23 Replies
Just before thanksgiving me and my EX broke up we were together on and off for 10 years. In the past 3 years we have broken up 3 times but got back together after a little while. I'm not going to lie I do still love him he gave me to beautiful kids and part of me wishes that we could work things out and get back together. But my family acts like he was abusive or something they have told me if I ever get back together with him they will disown me. Not only would I lose my entire family mi kids would to and they are innocent in all of this but they would be punished for my decision. Keep in mind that me and my EX have not been talking about getting back together. But it bothers me that my whole family would disown me if I went back. Honestly I don't think I could ever go back because I can't handle all the lieing and cheating and me and the kids deserve much better than that and he will never change. You can't help who you love and we were together for a long time. But my family has pretty much made this decision for my if it ever came down to it I would have to walk away and chose my family. My parents now how hard this has been for me and how I still have feelings for him and how I can't ever imagine being with someone else but that doesn't matter to them. My brother is married to a psycho but they have never told him that they would disown him if he stayed with her. I guess I'm just venting and feeling a little frustrated that my family made this decision for me without asking how I really feel.
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by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:52 AM
6 moms liked this
As a mom, think how you would feel if you spent 10 years watching your DD being lied to, cheated on and saw her SO walk out on her and his 2 kids and then watched her struggle to provide for her kids?

Of course they don't like him. Of course they don't want to see you give him him the opportunity to hurt you and the kids again? Can you blame them? Would you encourage your DD to take him back?
If you aren't getting back together, it's a moot point. You're an adult so you make the choice that works for you. If he lied and cheated for 10 years and you broke up 3 times, what did you love about him? Not bashing, just asking.
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jenking04
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 7:58 AM
I understand where my parents are coming from. And no I would never want my DD to be in a situation where she is treated the way I was. And I hope to god my son never treats anyone the way we were treated. I think what I love and miss the most is having some one there to help me with the kids and bills so I didn't have to struggle like I am now. I'm thankful my parents are helping me pay my bills right now but I hate depending on them as well. I want to go to nursing school cause its always been a dream of mine but my mom thinks it will be a waste of time. But nurses also make good money to.


Quoting coolmommy2x:

As a mom, think how you would feel if you spent 10 years watching your DD being lied to, cheated on and saw her SO walk out on her and his 2 kids and then watched her struggle to provide for her kids?



Of course they don't like him. Of course they don't want to see you give him him the opportunity to hurt you and the kids again? Can you blame them? Would you encourage your DD to take him back?

If you aren't getting back together, it's a moot point. You're an adult so you make the choice that works for you. If he lied and cheated for 10 years and you broke up 3 times, what did you love about him? Not bashing, just asking.

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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:12 AM
It hasn't been that long. Be patient. You can become financially independent but it will take time. You can go to nursing school but maybe now isn't the right time. You might meet a great guy but focus on you and your kids for now. No one wants to dependent on their parents but you need help and they're giving it...just remember, this is temporary.

Quoting jenking04:

I understand where my parents are coming from. And no I would never want my DD to be in a situation where she is treated the way I was. And I hope to god my son never treats anyone the way we were treated. I think what I love and miss the most is having some one there to help me with the kids and bills so I didn't have to struggle like I am now. I'm thankful my parents are helping me pay my bills right now but I hate depending on them as well. I want to go to nursing school cause its always been a dream of mine but my mom thinks it will be a waste of time. But nurses also make good money to.




Quoting coolmommy2x:

As a mom, think how you would feel if you spent 10 years watching your DD being lied to, cheated on and saw her SO walk out on her and his 2 kids and then watched her struggle to provide for her kids?





Of course they don't like him. Of course they don't want to see you give him him the opportunity to hurt you and the kids again? Can you blame them? Would you encourage your DD to take him back?


If you aren't getting back together, it's a moot point. You're an adult so you make the choice that works for you. If he lied and cheated for 10 years and you broke up 3 times, what did you love about him? Not bashing, just asking.

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celestegood
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:13 AM

 .

jenking04
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:24 AM
I'm not even looking for a relationship right now. My main focuse is the kids and becoming more independent. If I am meant to find happyness and love again then it will find me cause I'm not going out looking for it.


Quoting coolmommy2x:

It hasn't been that long. Be patient. You can become financially independent but it will take time. You can go to nursing school but maybe now isn't the right time. You might meet a great guy but focus on you and your kids for now. No one wants to dependent on their parents but you need help and they're giving it...just remember, this is temporary.



Quoting jenking04:

I understand where my parents are coming from. And no I would never want my DD to be in a situation where she is treated the way I was. And I hope to god my son never treats anyone the way we were treated. I think what I love and miss the most is having some one there to help me with the kids and bills so I didn't have to struggle like I am now. I'm thankful my parents are helping me pay my bills right now but I hate depending on them as well. I want to go to nursing school cause its always been a dream of mine but my mom thinks it will be a waste of time. But nurses also make good money to.






Quoting coolmommy2x:

As a mom, think how you would feel if you spent 10 years watching your DD being lied to, cheated on and saw her SO walk out on her and his 2 kids and then watched her struggle to provide for her kids?







Of course they don't like him. Of course they don't want to see you give him him the opportunity to hurt you and the kids again? Can you blame them? Would you encourage your DD to take him back?



If you aren't getting back together, it's a moot point. You're an adult so you make the choice that works for you. If he lied and cheated for 10 years and you broke up 3 times, what did you love about him? Not bashing, just asking.


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jenking04
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:25 AM
1 mom liked this
??


Quoting celestegood:

 .


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shygurl3166
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:37 AM
"There's an I in happiness" - the pursuit of happyness. I couldn't resist.




Quoting jenking04:

I'm not even looking for a relationship right now. My main focuse is the kids and becoming more independent. If I am meant to find happyness and love again then it will find me cause I'm not going out looking for it.




Quoting coolmommy2x:

It hasn't been that long. Be patient. You can become financially independent but it will take time. You can go to nursing school but maybe now isn't the right time. You might meet a great guy but focus on you and your kids for now. No one wants to dependent on their parents but you need help and they're giving it...just remember, this is temporary.





Quoting jenking04:

I understand where my parents are coming from. And no I would never want my DD to be in a situation where she is treated the way I was. And I hope to god my son never treats anyone the way we were treated. I think what I love and miss the most is having some one there to help me with the kids and bills so I didn't have to struggle like I am now. I'm thankful my parents are helping me pay my bills right now but I hate depending on them as well. I want to go to nursing school cause its always been a dream of mine but my mom thinks it will be a waste of time. But nurses also make good money to.








Quoting coolmommy2x:

As a mom, think how you would feel if you spent 10 years watching your DD being lied to, cheated on and saw her SO walk out on her and his 2 kids and then watched her struggle to provide for her kids?









Of course they don't like him. Of course they don't want to see you give him him the opportunity to hurt you and the kids again? Can you blame them? Would you encourage your DD to take him back?




If you aren't getting back together, it's a moot point. You're an adult so you make the choice that works for you. If he lied and cheated for 10 years and you broke up 3 times, what did you love about him? Not bashing, just asking.



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MommyFlood
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Honestly, maybe they're just trying to motivate you to not make a stupid decision and go back to that.

Sorry, but I would highly stupid. So what if it was 10yrs, you guys haven't been able to maintain a stable relationship and your children shouldn't be subjected to such instability. I see where your family is coming from, it may be harsh but it sounds like you need to let it go.
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SoKamele
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:41 AM

You've gotten great advice here....now follow it.

You're just wallowing in the "poor me...I'm alone" phase. It will pass......and you will wonder what the heck you were thinking.

You were right.........you and your kids deserve better........Now go give it to them and YOU.


jenking04
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:42 AM
Sorry its almost 6 O' clock in the morning here and I have been up since 4 because I can't sleep and I'm mobile.


Quoting shygurl3166:

"There's an I in happiness" - the pursuit of happyness. I couldn't resist.








Quoting jenking04:

I'm not even looking for a relationship right now. My main focuse is the kids and becoming more independent. If I am meant to find happyness and love again then it will find me cause I'm not going out looking for it.






Quoting coolmommy2x:

It hasn't been that long. Be patient. You can become financially independent but it will take time. You can go to nursing school but maybe now isn't the right time. You might meet a great guy but focus on you and your kids for now. No one wants to dependent on their parents but you need help and they're giving it...just remember, this is temporary.







Quoting jenking04:

I understand where my parents are coming from. And no I would never want my DD to be in a situation where she is treated the way I was. And I hope to god my son never treats anyone the way we were treated. I think what I love and miss the most is having some one there to help me with the kids and bills so I didn't have to struggle like I am now. I'm thankful my parents are helping me pay my bills right now but I hate depending on them as well. I want to go to nursing school cause its always been a dream of mine but my mom thinks it will be a waste of time. But nurses also make good money to.










Quoting coolmommy2x:

As a mom, think how you would feel if you spent 10 years watching your DD being lied to, cheated on and saw her SO walk out on her and his 2 kids and then watched her struggle to provide for her kids?











Of course they don't like him. Of course they don't want to see you give him him the opportunity to hurt you and the kids again? Can you blame them? Would you encourage your DD to take him back?





If you aren't getting back together, it's a moot point. You're an adult so you make the choice that works for you. If he lied and cheated for 10 years and you broke up 3 times, what did you love about him? Not bashing, just asking.




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