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Would you quit your job for your spouse?

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:28 PM
  • 22 Replies

I only work part time as a teacher, but it is my career.  I obviously went to college to do this specific job and I love my job.  My husband has a very good job that pays well but he is getting burnt out.  He would like to quit his job and open a game store, similar to a games by james and air traffic type store, maybe comic books as well as collector items too.  He would eventually like to make it a full blown toy store with nice toys such as mellisa and doug or playmobil type things.

He has been working hard to make a business plan (he is in business and finance now, mainly with IT but he is an executive). The only way his dream will work and we can keep our finances in tact is if I quit my job and run the store so he can keep his high paying job until we see a profit and according to his conservative projections that is several years down the road, if ever.  Small businesses do fail.

The pros are Im still near the kids schools, the kids can be at the shop with me, my sister would like to come work with us as well and most of all its my husbands dream.  He has wanted this for many years, he has researched and saved in order to do this.  The con is I have to give up on my career path, and Ive already given up many years in order to raise kids.  This shop may not even work, which is why he doesnt want to give up his job. 

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
blue_apalt
by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:35 PM

Yes I think I would do it.  If it doesn't work out I could go back and work again, but having my dh be able to fulfill his dream would be one of the best things I could to do for him.  As long as it was feasible financially and for the kids schedules I'd try it.  We'd probably have a decent idea in a yr or so if it was going to work...as a teacher that would only be a yr off and you could go back to teaching if needed.   Would it be possible for you to quit as a full time teacher, but find someone who could cover the store from time to time while you subbed at the school? Then you'd still have a good foot in the door at the school if you needed to try to get a full time job back in a yr or two?   GL w/ your decision.

davnrori
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:44 PM

 It depends on how closely my husband's dream tied into my own goals. I know that sounds selfish but here's the thing: I don't want to be miserable making someone else happy. Marriage is a compromise. It might seem to your DH that because you work part-time and bring in less money that it makes more sense for you to quit your job and help him realize his ultimate fantasy of runnning his own small business. Would he be willing to make the same sacrifice for you? The first 5 years of running a small business are the most difficult and require "boots-on-the-ground" type work. Physically handing out advertisements, making business connections and networking, and coordinating events so that the business gets, and stays, in the public eye. This is not a small thing that your husband is asking you to do. I would tell him that he can't have his cake and eat it too. Either he makes a sacrifice equal to what he's asking you or he's not as dedicated to his dream as he's asking you to be.

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:51 PM
Not in this case. At least not at this time. That's a very competitive industry he wants to get into as the big box guys have really changed things (I used to work in the toy industry). Retail hours can be hard on a family, especially if the kids are in activities and require chauffering around. Startup costs would be high and if it doesn't work, you'll have debt to pay off. Has he considered starting with an online store first? Much less costs involved.
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marysmithy
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:52 PM

I did.  I taught for 10 years, then resigned when my DH was transferred and we had to move.  I've never been happier.

NDADanceMom
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:56 PM

I think the brick and mortar store is  what appeals to him.  The upside is we are a small town an hour away from any place that sells toys, other than target and we wont carry the same things.  We are an affluent area so people have money for the product.  We have also paid for a feasibility study.  There is a market here.

I told him we will not take a loan for the business.  I dont want to be in debt.  He has saved enough to pay cash to start it. 

Quoting coolmommy2x:

Not in this case. At least not at this time. That's a very competitive industry he wants to get into as the big box guys have really changed things (I used to work in the toy industry). Retail hours can be hard on a family, especially if the kids are in activities and require chauffering around. Startup costs would be high and if it doesn't work, you'll have debt to pay off. Has he considered starting with an online store first? Much less costs involved.


Tea4Tas
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:56 PM

My Mother  faced this dilemma when I was young. My Dad had the opportunity to be a Mill Manager-company house-country club membership-maid....you name it. Big raise. But she would have had to give up her job-and her pension. She was a teacher and LOVED her job (so much so that when she retired she subsituted until she turned 80)

Ultimeately they decided that persuing HIS dream at the expense of her job simply was NOT fair. As luck would have it-they moved-made a damned fortune on the house they bought-my Mom wound up making another fortune as a Librarian-and her great pension wound up being better than they ever dreamed it would be back in the 60's when they decided to turn the job down (and back then turning a job down for your wife? UNHEARD OF)

DixonBabies
by Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:57 PM

Yes and I did. I was stressed out, the job was physically demanding, and I was having first trimester pregnancy complications so he begged me to quit. I did. Now when he hears me talking about getting another job when the baby is born he cringes because he wants me to stay home to raise our kids now.

shaunaleigh418
by Platinum Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:04 PM

Yes and I did. It wasn't a career or anything but I liked working. But what I bring in a month, he could bring in, in a week. By me working, he lost out on the oppurtunity to make extra so I quit.

mcwife86
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:10 PM

exactly what she said in the red. i would want to see my husband have a realistic shot at his dreams and if it was just a couple more years that i wouldn't be working in my specific job then so be it. it sounds like he is being responsible with it...now if it was some half butt thought up idea he just dreamed abt last night and wanted to run out and get a business loan for tomorrow id be wayyy more hesitant lol

Quoting blue_apalt:

Yes I think I would do it.  If it doesn't work out I could go back and work again, but having my dh be able to fulfill his dream would be one of the best things I could to do for him.  As long as it was feasible financially and for the kids schedules I'd try it.  We'd probably have a decent idea in a yr or so if it was going to work...as a teacher that would only be a yr off and you could go back to teaching if needed.   Would it be possible for you to quit as a full time teacher, but find someone who could cover the store from time to time while you subbed at the school? Then you'd still have a good foot in the door at the school if you needed to try to get a full time job back in a yr or two?   GL w/ your decision.


mcwife86
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:16 PM

also i just wanted to put this out there since my husband and i collect comic books and move often which in turn exposes us to a lot of stores. one comic store in California has boxes that you pay like 10 bucks a month for and this box behind the counter that only the store worker can get to is where all of the new issues of a certain comic go. so for example we paid 10 bucks a month and collected the marvel civil war series...we wanted all variants and basic copies of each issue and the tie ins. the guy went through the shipment as soon as they came in and picked out the best conditioned ones and put them in the box and once every 2 weeks or so we would go buy and grab them from him and pay :) this way he got some extra cash for the box and we weren't worried abt having to pick through dented up comics looking for a back issue we missed.

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