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I don't understand how he could do this? ~~BIG EDIT!!!~~~UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF OP!~~

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My boyfriend has been having issues lately. He spent 3 weeks in the ICU over Christmas due to pancreatitis. He had to pay 3700 for a new motor for his car. Apparently something happened at work, which I don't know what it was because he was too pissed off to talk about it. But at one point he was telling me that this is how much he was behind right now because of a mortgage he has here and his rent and utilities where he is at. He's in Minnesota, I'm in Nebraska. He lived here when we started dating, he moved there for a job. So anyway, I understand that he's really stressed right now about his job, his bills and everything, but he would text me when it was convenient for him I guess. So on the 8th, he was sending me pics and talking to me and everything in a great mood. I called him that night and he didn't answer... No surprise there. He did text me back saying he would call in a bit. It was 9 pm. At almost midnight I tried calling him again.. No answer. Then I texted him and said 'disappearing act again or just ignoring me for the night? ' that sparked an argument. He texted me telling me that he was working underneath a car so he couldn't text me or talk on the phone and the stuff he was using had only 90 minutesbefore it hardened or whatever (he's an auto detailer) and then he proceeded to say if you don't mind me getting fired for wasting materials which I've already gotten chewed out for, then I can do that, if that's what you want. If not, I need to get off the phone and put my gloves back on and finish the work I started. So then I'm like carry on we'll talk tomorrow and thanks for making me feel like shit by the way. Then I went to bed. The next morning on the 9th I texted him good morning I'm sorry for being such an insensitive asshole last night and he didn't say anything, later in the after noon I was like could you please acknowledge my messages once in a while please? And he texted me saying this "I love you. I'm having the worst fucking day of my life so far." and that's the last I heard from him. What do you think that means? Better yet.. Ask your hubby's what it would mean if they had said that and then disappeared. I'm so upset, I don't know if anything bad has happened, or if he's in the hospital again, I haven't met his parents yet nor do I know their names.

EDIT- as far as him being in the ICU, he has pancreatitis, he was in the ICU for 5 weeks in 2010, and then for 3 weeks over Christmas

GOOD CALL LADIES! THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS INDEED MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm retiring from dating, his wife is getting the pictures of him sleeping in my bed.

~~UPDATE 1/27/2013~~~

Since I had posted this, he has responded, I confronted him about being married and then he ended up telling me that he had stage 4 cancer and had a year left to live. He told me that he had told his wife about us. Wrong. Judging by the message I got from her on facebook today, he hadn't told her but I really didn't believe him when he said that he told her. She doesn't believe me even with the pictures of him sleeping in my bed.
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by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:03 PM
Replies (41-50):
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:06 AM
If he has to, he will work for 3 days straight with very little sleep, I've seen him do it. He will work from 7 am til 1 - 2 in the morning. It's insanity but I understand that you can't really half finish a detail. Especially when his here for the weekend, he will work most of the weekend and make time for me.

Quoting DomesticDoll:

I understand the stress part my husband is like that- and we live together haha he'll be at work and sometimes can't txt back or call me , he's always always busy. I think it's hard right now because you two are not near each other , he's not coming home to you and I don't think he has time to cheat on you- he sounds totally busy.... Like my husband ... Mine can be a complete ass and be rude to me because he's stressed out- no it's not right but I get it- I know the feeling and sometimes we have to just understand that they're busy!
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 1:14 AM
My SIL was dating a guy (6 months)that never introduce her to his family. At Thanksgiving she thought they would get together, of course since they had been dating but only saw each other on weekends. She waited for him to call her and invite her to go to his parents Thanksgiving where he said he was going to be at. He never called her and We all said at the same time, he is married!!! She never saw him again! I told her to STOP going to bed with guys on the first date, Get to know them first! She told me later that She has taken my advice.
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by Platinum Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 2:07 AM

Quoting Jessy613:

Quoting Mom2Boys9501:

I would say he has no respect for you and was with another woman. How long have you been dating?

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by Emmy on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:35 AM

let him come to you.....that's his advice...altho, you might find yourself waiting longer than you wanted, and in that case, it's up to YOU, to go on living your life, and find someone who can reciprocate the feelings back...what you have now doesn't do that, and it isn't very satisfying, is it?

Quoting WenisEnvy:

I have only seen him once since Christmas and it was before new years, I like to talk to him.

Quoting emmy526:

myb dh says it sounds like you are clingy and needy, and should back off and give him his space....he also sounds like he is immature and doesn't know how to handle his anger. 

by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:39 AM

Was he in the hospital in the same town you are, and you were able to go visit with him there? 

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:46 AM

My daughter had pancreatitis when she was 11.  They said it was unusual because most of the time its chronic alcoholics.  This guy sounds like a hot mess.  He cant pay his bills, im guessing he is a drunk and he is unreliable.  Break up. 

by Ruby Member on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:47 AM
1 mom liked this

My husband said:  "You are the other woman. He lives there, wherever it is that he is now, with his family, and comes to your town for temporary work, or when he's having 'problems with the wife' and you're his 'entertainment' during those times. This is what my brother did to his ex wife until she figured it out."

It's amazing how people don't hold themselves to the standards they set for others.

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 7:53 AM
I'm by no means, trying to be mean. But you keep making excuses for both of our actions. I personally would take a step back, if he likes you like you say he does, he WILL call you, if not, just move on.
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:24 AM
Scary scary stuff. Sounds like he is leading a double life or like he just isn't into you anymore. I'd run in the other direction as fast as I could.
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by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 8:50 AM

 Just wondering if you've heard from him since you posted this?

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