Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

I don't understand how he could do this? ~~BIG EDIT!!!~~~UPDATE AT BOTTOM OF OP!~~

Posted by   + Show Post
My boyfriend has been having issues lately. He spent 3 weeks in the ICU over Christmas due to pancreatitis. He had to pay 3700 for a new motor for his car. Apparently something happened at work, which I don't know what it was because he was too pissed off to talk about it. But at one point he was telling me that this is how much he was behind right now because of a mortgage he has here and his rent and utilities where he is at. He's in Minnesota, I'm in Nebraska. He lived here when we started dating, he moved there for a job. So anyway, I understand that he's really stressed right now about his job, his bills and everything, but he would text me when it was convenient for him I guess. So on the 8th, he was sending me pics and talking to me and everything in a great mood. I called him that night and he didn't answer... No surprise there. He did text me back saying he would call in a bit. It was 9 pm. At almost midnight I tried calling him again.. No answer. Then I texted him and said 'disappearing act again or just ignoring me for the night? ' that sparked an argument. He texted me telling me that he was working underneath a car so he couldn't text me or talk on the phone and the stuff he was using had only 90 minutesbefore it hardened or whatever (he's an auto detailer) and then he proceeded to say if you don't mind me getting fired for wasting materials which I've already gotten chewed out for, then I can do that, if that's what you want. If not, I need to get off the phone and put my gloves back on and finish the work I started. So then I'm like carry on we'll talk tomorrow and thanks for making me feel like shit by the way. Then I went to bed. The next morning on the 9th I texted him good morning I'm sorry for being such an insensitive asshole last night and he didn't say anything, later in the after noon I was like could you please acknowledge my messages once in a while please? And he texted me saying this "I love you. I'm having the worst fucking day of my life so far." and that's the last I heard from him. What do you think that means? Better yet.. Ask your hubby's what it would mean if they had said that and then disappeared. I'm so upset, I don't know if anything bad has happened, or if he's in the hospital again, I haven't met his parents yet nor do I know their names.






EDIT- as far as him being in the ICU, he has pancreatitis, he was in the ICU for 5 weeks in 2010, and then for 3 weeks over Christmas









GOOD CALL LADIES! THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS INDEED MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm retiring from dating, his wife is getting the pictures of him sleeping in my bed.





~~UPDATE 1/27/2013~~~

Since I had posted this, he has responded, I confronted him about being married and then he ended up telling me that he had stage 4 cancer and had a year left to live. He told me that he had told his wife about us. Wrong. Judging by the message I got from her on facebook today, he hadn't told her but I really didn't believe him when he said that he told her. She doesn't believe me even with the pictures of him sleeping in my bed.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:03 PM
Replies (11-20):
Butterfly1108
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:27 PM

Give him some space he'll come around.

Bax
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband said "move on unless you are looking for a guy to walk all over you".  His reasoning, (based on quote below) is that he knows where you are and thinks that when he needs you again, you'll take him back, so he can treat you like S*I%.


Quote:

We started dating on memorial Day, he disappeared the first time in July. Came back around in November.. We got back together November 10th.



edelweiss23
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:31 PM
Sounds like he knows you will keep taking him back even though he treats you like crap.

Let him go. When he shows up again, tell him to take a hike b
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
silverdawn99
by Jamie on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:33 PM

he is ignoring you hoping you will go away

i will text him (since that seems to be his favorite way of communication) and tell him its off

telll him to grow up and talk to you and then you will see where you stand

WenisEnvy
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:38 PM
He told me the town, I jut forgot the name of it, and it took him a little over a year to introduce his ex fiance to his family

Quoting EyEmTuRtLe:

My DH says...Sorry it sounds like he's not that into you. If he were you'd know where he is and you would have met at least someone in his family by now.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
WenisEnvy
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:40 PM
If he just happens to be in the ICU again, he wouldn't be able to use his phone, that's kind of what I'm waiting to find out

Quoting silverdawn99:

he is ignoring you hoping you will go away

i will text him (since that seems to be his favorite way of communication) and tell him its off

telll him to grow up and talk to you and then you will see where you stand

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
davnrori
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:43 PM
3 moms liked this

 I had DH read your post and gave him the additional info that you guys have been on-again, off-again since the summer. He said you are being way to clingy for someone who is not a steady gf and, in fact, doesn't even live in the same state as her bf. You haven't met his parents, you don't know their names, you're not sure what town he even lives in now. That's less info than an actual friend would have and you're supposed to be his gf? No. Take a step back and let the man take a breather. If he wanted to talk to you he would, it's that simple. There have only been a total of 5 days that I haven't talked to my DH since we started dating back in 2004 and those were because he was in-transit either to or from his deployment.

Bax
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:44 PM
2 moms liked this

Personally, I think he's married.

silverdawn99
by Jamie on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:51 PM

it doesnt sound like he is. i mean, he hasnt even told you where he is living nor took you to meet his parents

sounds like he is trying to disappear again

Quoting WenisEnvy:

If he just happens to be in the ICU again, he wouldn't be able to use his phone, that's kind of what I'm waiting to find out

Quoting silverdawn99:

he is ignoring you hoping you will go away

i will text him (since that seems to be his favorite way of communication) and tell him its off

telll him to grow up and talk to you and then you will see where you stand


eema.gray
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 8:53 PM
So glad I'm not the only one thinking this!


Quoting Bax:

Personally, I think he's married.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)