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emotional getting tubes tied.... is this normal?

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:37 PM
  • 11 Replies

i am currently expecting my 3rd child and my fiancee has 2 children from a previous marriage for a total of 5 kiddos under the age of 7 lol I have horrible pregnancies, with all 3 i have lost over 20 lbs, been on feeding tubes had an emergency surgery this time bc i was bleeding internally, on and on with bad stuff the whole nine months, i am 25 and can pretty safely say that 5 is plenty of kids for me lol i have decided i want to get my tubes tied more to aviod another life threatening pregnancy than to not have more kids but when i think about the fact i will never be pregnant or have the ability to be pregnant i want to change my mind!! I cant figure out why the idea bothers me so much, part of me thinks what it in 10 years ill want another baby, and part of me wonders if the hesitation is just the idea that i wont be able to get pregnant, like men get about getting "fixed" kinda... anyone else feel like this before having their tubes tied??

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hizwifie
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:45 PM

My husband got snipped a couple of months ago. I am having serious mixed emotions. We are young (early 20's ) and olny have 2 kids. DH is/was 100% sure he is done. Finantially, we dont need more than 2. I cant stop thinking though, what if. What if when our youngest is just a little older we want another baby? What if our income gets better (which it looks like we are about to have 6-700+ more a month). What if the next baby would have been a boy? (both pregnancies I was happy for a girl, but really wanted a son). I cant look at our girls baby pics right now or videos of them as babies because it pulls at my heart. It is a big decission. Do not do it unless you are positive this is what you want. Regret sucks. 

julienichel
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:54 PM

thats exactly what i am afraid of! I want a girl so badly, a house full of boys is fun, but it breaks my heart a little to think that i will never have a little girl of my own.... people keep saying i could adopt if we decide we want a girl down the road, but it doesnt seem like itd be the same....


Quoting hizwifie:

My husband got snipped a couple of months ago. I am having serious mixed emotions. We are young (early 20's ) and olny have 2 kids. DH is/was 100% sure he is done. Finantially, we dont need more than 2. I cant stop thinking though, what if. What if when our youngest is just a little older we want another baby? What if our income gets better (which it looks like we are about to have 6-700+ more a month). What if the next baby would have been a boy? (both pregnancies I was happy for a girl, but really wanted a son). I cant look at our girls baby pics right now or videos of them as babies because it pulls at my heart. It is a big decission. Do not do it unless you are positive this is what you want. Regret sucks. 



Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:59 PM
What about going on a long term birth control? I guess one of the IUDs last 10 years.
Just a suggestion. I don't think you should to through with it if you have even a little doubt.
Good luck <3
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julienichel
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:04 PM

i have thought about too, but the fact that my pregnancies have lead to things like internal bleeding scares me, i also had an ectopic pregnancy between my first two that i almost didnt make it thru, but even with all that in the past i hate the idea of not being able to get pregnant! i feel crazy saying any of this lol bc i know it just makes sense to get rid of the possibility.....


Quoting Y2kmomma:

What about going on a long term birth control? I guess one of the IUDs last 10 years.
Just a suggestion. I don't think you should to through with it if you have even a little doubt.
Good luck <3



emma0828
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:05 PM

I have two boys and two girls, 5 and under. I can say that as a full time student with hubby working and having the family "evenness" that we have-it was a little easier for me than I thought. Yeah, I think "what if" already-got my tubes tied three weeks ago after son was born, but I am happy and want to be able to better provide for the 4 we do have, versus "wanting" another pregnancy. I have had overall great pregnancies and want to enjoy the little lives we've created now. GL! It is not a light decision.

Y2kmomma
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Ok..didn't think about the risky pregnancies--I see your point now. Well if you get it done, and desperately want another down the road, there's always adoption..?

I don't think you're crazy feeling this way.


Quoting julienichel:

i have thought about too, but the fact that my pregnancies have lead to things like internal bleeding scares me, i also had an ectopic pregnancy between my first two that i almost didnt make it thru, but even with all that in the past i hate the idea of not being able to get pregnant! i feel crazy saying any of this lol bc i know it just makes sense to get rid of the possibility.....



Quoting Y2kmomma:

What about going on a long term birth control? I guess one of the IUDs last 10 years.

Just a suggestion. I don't think you should to through with it if you have even a little doubt.

Good luck <3





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mommadana
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:14 PM

Here's to the good news.  If you are just getting tubes tied, they are usually reversable unless they take vital body parts, like your uterus and ovaries.  my sis said that her monthly flows have been awesome since she had the procedure.  Good luck and it will get better. 

Dana    
julienichel
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:17 PM

i guess i honestly didnt think about that... thank you for pointing it out! lol i think the emotional side has taken away my logic on it all, which is why i posted!


Quoting mommadana:

Here's to the good news.  If you are just getting tubes tied, they are usually reversable unless they take vital body parts, like your uterus and ovaries.  my sis said that her monthly flows have been awesome since she had the procedure.  Good luck and it will get better. 



mommadana
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 4:35 PM

It's a huge step to take especially since you feel the loss of the baby girl you don't have.  You are grieving for thelost opportunity.  You can always do surrogate one day in the future if you choose to that way you get to see the pregnancy through to the end without the complications.  If you haven't done so, there are always Foster children that need a home as well as big brothers, big sisters that need a good role model to look up to.  There is always a light at the end of the Tunnel and God will open your window to the future. 


Quoting julienichel:

i guess i honestly didnt think about that... thank you for pointing it out! lol i think the emotional side has taken away my logic on it all, which is why i posted!

 

Quoting mommadana:

Here's to the good news.  If you are just getting tubes tied, they are usually reversable unless they take vital body parts, like your uterus and ovaries.  my sis said that her monthly flows have been awesome since she had the procedure.  Good luck and it will get better. 

 

 


 

Dana    
matofour
by Gold Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 4:39 PM
I think it's normal. We have five kids. All planned...but number five. Whoops is what we call him. So, I got my tubes tied when he was six months.
Knowing we were done, high risk pregnancies, both if us are older now, it was still extremely sad for me.
I don't want another baby, but to know I will never have one again is heart breaking. It was the right choice for us, still makes me sad.
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