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Ugh the longer the year goes on the more I think this poor boy in my class has crappy parents. Its really eating at me and its become an internal obsession.  I cant seem to let it go.  The boy is in 1st grade.  He is also in before and after school care.  He is in the school building from 6am to 6pm 5 days a week and has a nanny all day on saturday.  Yes he is clean, wears nice clothes, is dropped of in a 2013 mercedes....

I still think he is being neglected.  I know its not a crime, but it should be.  

Update-  I talked to the school social worker last week.  The final straw for me was the boys sister was home sick so mom took 2 days off.  Still left the boy in after school care from 6:30 am till 6pm and mom was not sick.  I told her (the social worker) some of my concerns, that he cries easily (if I tell him to pick up the crayons he just dropped he will start sobbing), that he has poor manual dexterity and he is behind in language.  

She said it isnt neglect of course, and I knew that.  She did say we can find him a mentor so that some of his after school time can be spent one on one with a "foster grandparent" from the senior center next door.  They are also going to check to see if he needs speech or occupational therapy.  

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Replies (51-60):
NDADanceMom
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:42 AM


Quoting davnrori:

 Is he thinner or smaller than the other 1st graders? yes Does he have visible bruises, seem to cry easily, seem subdued, or fearful of authority? Cries VERY easy, is clingy to other adults. Do you know anything about his family situation other than when he's dropped and picked up from school? Yes I have talked to teachers who have been to his home.  I have heard he is like a little servant, getting beers for his dad, making everyones beds, fetching things for his mom while she relaxes after a long day at work...Is he the only kid that's in both before and after care? He is one of 5 that are before and after but the other 4 are there for less than an hour on each end.  He is 2 before and 3 after. Have you spoken to his parents?  I have not.  Im not his regular teacher (im a specialist) but we are going to document some of the ways he is behind and present it to the parents.  There is a such thing as criminal neglect but being a clean well-dressed child who is at school all day is not one of the definitions.  I dont think its criminal.  I said that in my OP.

The boy is not being abused but I have talked to the teachers that worked with him in preschool so I could determine if he is advancing at a slower rate than other kids (which is fine) or if he is not advancing and getting further behind (which is what we have concluded).  I did not know this child in preschool as I am never in that building but according to the teacher that did work with him he has socially and emotionally not progressed at all in 2 years. 


DakotaHaley
by Crystal on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:46 AM

It is sad when kids seem to spend more time with others and not their parents. I know a few that yes they care for the kids and all, but spend like an hour with their kids or when it is convient for them.

      I watch kids in my home and there is one that sees and spends more time with me then his parents.


chelley123
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:47 AM
Yeah cause no one ever has an unplanned pregnancy


Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:


Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.

Then perhaps a better solution would be to put off having children.


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chelley123
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:51 AM
No legally speaking it doesn't . Fast food management in salary are scheduled 50 hour weeks. I as as bank management must go without lunch it stay late to fix a problem as part of my job.



Quoting ditsyjo:

 



legally speaking it does though I'm sure a lot of bosses make their employees feel like it doesn't




 



Quoting AutymsMommy:

This does not apply to all salary positions... our even most.





Quoting ditsyjo:



 





anything more than40 hours  a week is overtime and can not be forced. It can be strongly recommended as in you will not make a promotion if you don't show the commit ment... but it can not be forced legally... there fore both parents working 6 days a week = a choice. and it is their choice to make but...





Quoting Schauseil:

you are assuming they pick their own work hours. Would you have them quit their job because they work on saturday?






Quoting ditsyjo:





 






may I point out with out coming over as rude that if they can afford to hire a nanny they are doing more than is " necessary" to provide for their family. they are maintaining a life style with may be important to some people but it is not necessary






Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.





 






 






 





 








 



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jess80
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:58 AM
I've had to work long hours like that to provide for my family. I was making a little over minimum wage..... It was sad days and I hated it and still regret it but it was in no way neglect. I had to do it to feed my family.
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notjstasocermom
by Samantha on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:59 AM


OMG LMAO< the hell it can't.

Quoting ditsyjo:


anything more than40 hours  a week is overtime and can not be forced. It can be strongly recommended as in you will not make a promotion if you don't show the commit ment... but it can not be forced legally... there fore both parents working 6 days a week = a choice. and it is their choice to make but...

Quoting Schauseil:

you are assuming they pick their own work hours. Would you have them quit their job because they work on saturday?


Quoting ditsyjo:



may I point out with out coming over as rude that if they can afford to hire a nanny they are doing more than is " necessary" to provide for their family. they are maintaining a life style with may be important to some people but it is not necessary


Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.









ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:00 AM

 

ok granted but these things were in your contract when you took the job were they not.thus if you had thought that will take to much time from my child(ren) you could have refused to sign the contract and remained a teller , or what ever lesser position you had before you were the manager, could you not? would they have been able to fire you for making that choice prior to accepting the promotion?

Quoting chelley123:

No legally speaking it doesn't . Fast food management in salary are scheduled 50 hour weeks. I as as bank management must go without lunch it stay late to fix a problem as part of my job.



Quoting ditsyjo:

 



legally speaking it does though I'm sure a lot of bosses make their employees feel like it doesn't




 



Quoting AutymsMommy:

This does not apply to all salary positions... our even most.





Quoting ditsyjo:



 





anything more than40 hours  a week is overtime and can not be forced. It can be strongly recommended as in you will not make a promotion if you don't show the commit ment... but it can not be forced legally... there fore both parents working 6 days a week = a choice. and it is their choice to make but...





Quoting Schauseil:

you are assuming they pick their own work hours. Would you have them quit their job because they work on saturday?






Quoting ditsyjo:





 






may I point out with out coming over as rude that if they can afford to hire a nanny they are doing more than is " necessary" to provide for their family. they are maintaining a life style with may be important to some people but it is not necessary






Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.





 






 






 





 





 



 




 

ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM

 

and that is rough but it is to provide basic needs... would you continue to work like that to maintain a life style knowing that your child is suffering for it.

Quoting jess80:

I've had to work long hours like that to provide for my family. I was making a little over minimum wage..... It was sad days and I hated it and still regret it but it was in no way neglect. I had to do it to feed my family.


 

kappalopokis
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe they work Saturdays too.


Quoting EmmaGlenn20:

That's kind of sad .. Don't know the whole story obviously but if I were working I'd really look forward to spending the entire weekend with my kids.

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jess80
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:10 AM
Hell no, as soon as I was able to quit one of the jobs I did. I am in school now and my job will be demanding but I will have some days off and be able to spend time with the kids. I will graduate in May as a surgery tech. I am worried that the job will be too demanding at times but if it proves to be I will have to figure something else out.

Quoting ditsyjo:

 


and that is rough but it is to provide basic needs... would you continue to work like that to maintain a life style knowing that your child is suffering for it.


Quoting jess80:

I've had to work long hours like that to provide for my family. I was making a little over minimum wage..... It was sad days and I hated it and still regret it but it was in no way neglect. I had to do it to feed my family.



 

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