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Ugh the longer the year goes on the more I think this poor boy in my class has crappy parents. Its really eating at me and its become an internal obsession.  I cant seem to let it go.  The boy is in 1st grade.  He is also in before and after school care.  He is in the school building from 6am to 6pm 5 days a week and has a nanny all day on saturday.  Yes he is clean, wears nice clothes, is dropped of in a 2013 mercedes....

I still think he is being neglected.  I know its not a crime, but it should be.  

Update-  I talked to the school social worker last week.  The final straw for me was the boys sister was home sick so mom took 2 days off.  Still left the boy in after school care from 6:30 am till 6pm and mom was not sick.  I told her (the social worker) some of my concerns, that he cries easily (if I tell him to pick up the crayons he just dropped he will start sobbing), that he has poor manual dexterity and he is behind in language.  

She said it isnt neglect of course, and I knew that.  She did say we can find him a mentor so that some of his after school time can be spent one on one with a "foster grandparent" from the senior center next door.  They are also going to check to see if he needs speech or occupational therapy.  

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Replies (61-70):
ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:11 AM

 

unless you signed a contract that says otherwise yes it is true... which isn't to say they can't pressure you, but if you do not have a contract and they fire you for not working 12 hours a day 6 days a week... unless you are military then you can legally sue.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

 

OMG LMAO< the hell it can't.

Quoting ditsyjo:

 

anything more than40 hours  a week is overtime and can not be forced. It can be strongly recommended as in you will not make a promotion if you don't show the commit ment... but it can not be forced legally... there fore both parents working 6 days a week = a choice. and it is their choice to make but...

Quoting Schauseil:

you are assuming they pick their own work hours. Would you have them quit their job because they work on saturday?


Quoting ditsyjo:

 


may I point out with out coming over as rude that if they can afford to hire a nanny they are doing more than is " necessary" to provide for their family. they are maintaining a life style with may be important to some people but it is not necessary


Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.

 


 


 

 

 

 

 

 

chelley123
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm not sure you understand what salary is. It means you are exempt from overtime laws and you CAN be fired for not working when they want you too.
I personally don't have to put my children in daycare as much as the parents being discussed. My daughter goes 4 days a week and my son is with grandparents after school BUT staying a teller would mean I could not pay my mortgage and bills.
It's great when a parent is able to stay home with their child but in this economy it is not that common. It is mostly military spouses who stay home. My children are loved and cared for just as much as ones who have a stay at home parent.


Quoting ditsyjo:

 


ok granted but these things were in your contract when you took the job were they not.thus if you had thought that will take to much time from my child(ren) you could have refused to sign the contract and remained a teller , or what ever lesser position you had before you were the manager, could you not? would they have been able to fire you for making that choice prior to accepting the promotion?


Quoting chelley123:

No legally speaking it doesn't . Fast food management in salary are scheduled 50 hour weeks. I as as bank management must go without lunch it stay late to fix a problem as part of my job.




Quoting ditsyjo:


 




legally speaking it does though I'm sure a lot of bosses make their employees feel like it doesn't





 




Quoting AutymsMommy:

This does not apply to all salary positions... our even most.






Quoting ditsyjo:




 






anything more than40 hours  a week is overtime and can not be forced. It can be strongly recommended as in you will not make a promotion if you don't show the commit ment... but it can not be forced legally... there fore both parents working 6 days a week = a choice. and it is their choice to make but...






Quoting Schauseil:

you are assuming they pick their own work hours. Would you have them quit their job because they work on saturday?







Quoting ditsyjo:






 







may I point out with out coming over as rude that if they can afford to hire a nanny they are doing more than is " necessary" to provide for their family. they are maintaining a life style with may be important to some people but it is not necessary







Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.






 







 







 






 






 




 






 


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KellBell0820
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:13 AM
This used to be me. My daughter is in before and after school care because I have to be at work at 8, the same time her school starts, and I work on the other side of town (20-30 minute drive). I have to work 1-2 Saturdays a month and at one point was working a second job on Sundays to make ends meet (before I started getting support from my ex). You never know what's going on in someones life. If you're so concerned you can ask, but you probably wouldn't be recieved well.
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ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:16 AM
1 mom liked this

 

see that is what she is talking about parents chosing to spend nearly every waking moment away from their child so they can drive a brand new car wear designer clothes, and live in their "perfect" neigbor hood while their child is so starved for attention he is falling behind in school.

Quoting jess80:

Hell no, as soon as I was able to quit one of the jobs I did. I am in school now and my job will be demanding but I will have some days off and be able to spend time with the kids. I will graduate in May as a surgery tech. I am worried that the job will be too demanding at times but if it proves to be I will have to figure something else out.

Quoting ditsyjo:

 


and that is rough but it is to provide basic needs... would you continue to work like that to maintain a life style knowing that your child is suffering for it.


Quoting jess80:

I've had to work long hours like that to provide for my family. I was making a little over minimum wage..... It was sad days and I hated it and still regret it but it was in no way neglect. I had to do it to feed my family.

 


 


 

piesmama09
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:21 AM

I know a family like this, they didn't 'want' the first child so they had #2 so they could 'care for each other'...it makes me so sad

ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this

 

I do kow what a salary job is  it means you sign a contract to a certain job for a certain amount of money per year/ month/ week instead of working hourly. and I do understand not every child can have a stay at home parent... and that does not bother me in the least. I didn't have a stay at home parent until my dad was disabled when I was ten and I turned out fairly well. I am sure that you spend time with your kids in the evenings and on weekends and as long as a child knows they are loved that is all that matters.

all of this has strayed very far from the origial point of the post which is that there are 2 parents working long hours and even when they have time off they don't spend any of it with their child and the child is suffering emotionally for the lack of affection. read the op's replies... it is not illegal but it is very sad. and eventually I think they will regret their choice but I have maintianed all along it is their choice how they raise their child

Quoting chelley123:

I'm not sure you understand what salary is. It means you are exempt from overtime laws and you CAN be fired for not working when they want you too.
I personally don't have to put my children in daycare as much as the parents being discussed. My daughter goes 4 days a week and my son is with grandparents after school BUT staying a teller would mean I could not pay my mortgage and bills.
It's great when a parent is able to stay home with their child but in this economy it is not that common. It is mostly military spouses who stay home. My children are loved and cared for just as much as ones who have a stay at home parent.


Quoting ditsyjo:

 


ok granted but these things were in your contract when you took the job were they not.thus if you had thought that will take to much time from my child(ren) you could have refused to sign the contract and remained a teller , or what ever lesser position you had before you were the manager, could you not? would they have been able to fire you for making that choice prior to accepting the promotion?


Quoting chelley123:

No legally speaking it doesn't . Fast food management in salary are scheduled 50 hour weeks. I as as bank management must go without lunch it stay late to fix a problem as part of my job.




Quoting ditsyjo:


 




legally speaking it does though I'm sure a lot of bosses make their employees feel like it doesn't





 




Quoting AutymsMommy:

This does not apply to all salary positions... our even most.






Quoting ditsyjo:




 






anything more than40 hours  a week is overtime and can not be forced. It can be strongly recommended as in you will not make a promotion if you don't show the commit ment... but it can not be forced legally... there fore both parents working 6 days a week = a choice. and it is their choice to make but...






Quoting Schauseil:

you are assuming they pick their own work hours. Would you have them quit their job because they work on saturday?







Quoting ditsyjo:






 







may I point out with out coming over as rude that if they can afford to hire a nanny they are doing more than is " necessary" to provide for their family. they are maintaining a life style with may be important to some people but it is not necessary







Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.






 







 







 






 






 




 




 


 


 

 

JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Barring that under normal circumstances. No need for the bitchitude.

Quoting chelley123:

Yeah cause no one ever has an unplanned pregnancy




Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:


Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.

Then perhaps a better solution would be to put off having children.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
homeschoolx3
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 5:54 PM

unfortunately its not "neglect" in the traditional sense, but that has got to be a lonely existence. This child needs interaction with his parents, not a nanny. Do you teach in a public or private school?

NDADanceMom
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 6:10 PM


Quoting homeschoolx3:

unfortunately its not "neglect" in the traditional sense, but that has got to be a lonely existence. This child needs interaction with his parents, not a nanny. Do you teach in a public or private school?

Public. 

chelley123
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Cause there was nothing bitchy about insinuating those that have to work shouldn't have had kids



Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:

Barring that under normal circumstances. No need for the bitchitude.



Quoting chelley123:

Yeah cause no one ever has an unplanned pregnancy






Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:


Quoting Schauseil:

um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.

Then perhaps a better solution would be to put off having children.



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