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if you could save a life... a moral dilema

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:15 PM
  • 81 Replies

So an old friend made a post on facebook about needing a kidney.  Desperatly needing a kidney in fact, and as it turns out, I am a match for the blood type she is seeking a donor from. I haven't actually seen her with my own eyes in at least 10 years, but shes a wonderful gal, good mom, and because of facebook, weve been able to keep in touch.   Problem is, I have no idea how in the world I would make room in my life for a kidney harvesting, and I have kids of my own, a wedding to plan,  and my own life to navigate with out screwing it up too badly lol.. 
DF is completely against the idea. He has no idea who she is.  He says, What if my remaining kidney goes bad and I wind up in her shoes? And hes right.   So I am keeping quiet about my blood type to her.  I would if I could... but I can't.  And DF and I decided that I wont

But how do I forgive myself she dies, leaves her children motherless, leaves her family broken, and I could have been the one to save her!  I feel like if she dies, and I could have prevented it by not worrying about my own life for a few months, well that would be a tough pill to swallow.

I was just wondering, what you ladies would do if you were in my shoes?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:21 PM
I would have given my kidney, sorry.
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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:24 PM
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How would DF feel if it were you and no one came forward?
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Master_Debater
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:24 PM
Same

Quoting Schauseil:

I would have given my kidney, sorry.
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Mommy4000
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:27 PM
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My children's well being has always come first, and I would not want to spend my days worrying that giving up my kidney will someday affect my ability to care for my children, so in my case, with my children the age that they are, I would not do it.

emilysmom8
by Dawn on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:28 PM

 As a person who has a family full of people with kidney disease (my grandma died from it, my uncle is currently waiting a transplant on dialasys, my mother who is counting the days until her kidney will be bad enough to be put on the list and on dialasys, and my daughter who is in the begining stages of kidney disease) I would donate mine in a heart beat (I tried to donate for my uncle but they said what we have is herriditary and I carry the gene because it was passed to my daughter so I cant donate because he could go into failure again, and I am also at risk (even with out donating) to go into kidney failure).

Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:30 PM
This is my exception, if I had any risks with my kidneys I wouldn't donate. My life does still come first.


Quoting emilysmom8:

 As a person who has a family full of people with kidney disease (my grandma died from it, my uncle is currently waiting a transplant on dialasys, my mother who is counting the days until her kidney will be bad enough to be put on the list and on dialasys, and my daughter who is in the begining stages of kidney disease) I would donate mine in a heart beat (I tried to donate for my uncle but they said what we have is herriditary and I carry the gene because it was passed to my daughter so I cant donate because he could go into failure again, and I am also at risk (even with out donating) to go into kidney failure).


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fiiasco
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:06 PM

I would give it to her, God forbid the tables were turned & no one was able to come forward for me... Sorry, I'd be the type that would feel guilty if I didn't & she ended up passing away & leaving her children without a mother. But I'd also have help, between my SO & family I would have a good support system to care for my child in that time of need.

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Mama2JoshKatie
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:10 PM

That is a huge sacrifice but if someone were dying and I was the only one who could save them I would.

legobaby
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:12 PM
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Is it JUST blood type that matters? I was thinking they would have to do further testing, but maybe not. I'm sure someone knows for sure.

Honestly, I would love to say I would do it, but I'm not sure i would because of the worry of something happening to cause my single kidney to fail. I would research it more, and if the odds of that happening are very low, which I suspect they are, I would give her the kidney. I would hope someone would care enough to do it for me, regardless how close we are.

I do understand your worry though.
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ZakkarysMom
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:14 PM
Same here.


Quoting fiiasco:

I would give it to her, God forbid the tables were turned & no one was able to come forward for me... Sorry, I'd be the type that would feel guilty if I didn't & she ended up passing away & leaving her children without a mother. But I'd also have help, between my SO & family I would have a good support system to care for my child in that time of need.


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