Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

if you could save a life... a moral dilema

Posted by   + Show Post

So an old friend made a post on facebook about needing a kidney.  Desperatly needing a kidney in fact, and as it turns out, I am a match for the blood type she is seeking a donor from. I haven't actually seen her with my own eyes in at least 10 years, but shes a wonderful gal, good mom, and because of facebook, weve been able to keep in touch.   Problem is, I have no idea how in the world I would make room in my life for a kidney harvesting, and I have kids of my own, a wedding to plan,  and my own life to navigate with out screwing it up too badly lol.. 
DF is completely against the idea. He has no idea who she is.  He says, What if my remaining kidney goes bad and I wind up in her shoes? And hes right.   So I am keeping quiet about my blood type to her.  I would if I could... but I can't.  And DF and I decided that I wont

But how do I forgive myself she dies, leaves her children motherless, leaves her family broken, and I could have been the one to save her!  I feel like if she dies, and I could have prevented it by not worrying about my own life for a few months, well that would be a tough pill to swallow.

I was just wondering, what you ladies would do if you were in my shoes?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Replies (11-20):
ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:18 PM

I'd tell her... even if you are a blood type match you might not even be a close enough match so it might not be more than a blood test anyway.

lilou
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:20 PM
Even if you have the same blood type doesn't mean you are a match. I know two people who donated their kidneys and all of them are doing great! It is a hard decision and I understand your concern. I would personally do it. Did you talk to her to see exactly where's she's at and what she is going through?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
agrisham13mom
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:22 PM
They do A LOT more testing than just blood type! I personally would give my kidney to save a life IF I could. I personally can't give my kidneys because of some health issues I have. However my grandfather gave his kidney to save his brothers life.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Gorilla_Mama
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:29 PM

Would you donate to a stranger? I don't think I could donate to someone who I wasn't extremely close to. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and decide if I would do it for my old friend except it's only been 8 years, and it's hard to say but honestly I think my answer would be no

Kenre
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:31 PM
I would give my kidney.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
happymommy1105
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:34 PM
I would give her my kidney
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
angevil53
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:39 PM
I would give the kidney.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
momgirlsx2
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM
I would do it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ATG499
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:45 PM
2 moms liked this
Chances are, even though you are her blood type, you wouldn't be able to donate. There are more factors than just a matching blood type.

Having never been in that situation, I can say I would at least try to do it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Piskie
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:09 PM
2 moms liked this
I would at least find out.....
I couldn't not. Yes, there is a remote possibility something could go wrong in the future... But right now, she's dying. That's a reality.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)