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if you could save a life... a moral dilema

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So an old friend made a post on facebook about needing a kidney.  Desperatly needing a kidney in fact, and as it turns out, I am a match for the blood type she is seeking a donor from. I haven't actually seen her with my own eyes in at least 10 years, but shes a wonderful gal, good mom, and because of facebook, weve been able to keep in touch.   Problem is, I have no idea how in the world I would make room in my life for a kidney harvesting, and I have kids of my own, a wedding to plan,  and my own life to navigate with out screwing it up too badly lol.. 
DF is completely against the idea. He has no idea who she is.  He says, What if my remaining kidney goes bad and I wind up in her shoes? And hes right.   So I am keeping quiet about my blood type to her.  I would if I could... but I can't.  And DF and I decided that I wont

But how do I forgive myself she dies, leaves her children motherless, leaves her family broken, and I could have been the one to save her!  I feel like if she dies, and I could have prevented it by not worrying about my own life for a few months, well that would be a tough pill to swallow.

I was just wondering, what you ladies would do if you were in my shoes?

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Replies (61-70):
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:24 PM

I would donate my kidney to my friend....

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:24 PM

I would not give up my kidney but that's just me.

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:25 PM

I would have given my kidney. I will keep the rest of my thoughts to my self bc they are not kind

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:27 PM
There's also the chance you could die just from surgery alone. There's a lot of testing that has to be done. Sorry but I'd keep my organs. You never know what could happen and your big heart could leave your family motherless.
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by Traci on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:29 PM
I wouldnt do it. Being there for my kids comes first
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by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:34 PM
I'd like to think that I would, but then I think of what would happen if something went wrong with my remaining kidney and nobody was there to give me one? donor lists are long. I have a child to raise and she comes before anything else in my life.
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by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:38 PM
If the woman is on her death bed and I could save her than yes i'd donate my kidney to her. If the shoe was on the other foot you'd want someone to do it for you so why not help this woman out and donate your kidney?
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by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 12:41 PM

I would NOT give up my kidney!

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:28 PM

 I would not give up my kidney but I also have a chance of losing my own kidney at some point in my life.

by Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:59 PM
Wow! Thanks for all the input! While I'm keeping my kidney in the family (for now) I have to say, hearing that some of you would do it regardless to save a life, it has re awakened a part of me that really wants to do it. Not just to save a life either. Not for bragging rights, but to know I did right. This is what DF and I argue over, he says its fine to want to save someone, but what about our kids. I can't argue. What if DS needs it? My mom? My sister? My bff?

I checked on her post today, she was telling someone she was regecting her husbands kidney as we speak, and that's why it is so dire. She's had his about 12 Years now. What if I do it, and she regects it in a year. Now no one can use it. I think that if in a while and life calms down, if she doesn't find one, I will make the effort to research it more , until then, I'll be praying on it
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