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How do i bring it up? dh and money

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:00 PM
  • 56 Replies
Last night My DH and I had a "discussion" about why we are broke (wasn't really a fight, just trying to figure out how we spend everything so fast) He was a little hostile today when he found out I was still paying mine and Wyatt's portion of the birth (it wasn't a secret, he just doesn't listen, plus it was interest free so why not pay something else off with the flex money). He is 7 months old.
Anywho, he left his wallet on the counter like usual and while I was washing bottles in the middle if the night I thought to myself how can he sit on that damn thing all day it is like 2 inches thick, no wonder his lower back hurts. So I open it so see what the hell he keeps in there (he is kind of a pack rat) all of sudden i see he has $750 tucked in under the credit cards. 

WTF? It was separate from his other cash and big bills. How is he going to get on my spending habits when he has almost a GRAND total in his wallet? I even mentioned to him yesterday morning that I didn't pay his credit card in full because I didn't want to pull out of the savings. Ugh, it is really kind of pissing me off. 

I really hope he had some good reason, like it is from cash job that he needs to pay to his work.

HOW DO I BRING IT UP WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE I WAS SNOOPING? I just don't want him to be mad at me for questioning it, but I feel like there is no reason he should have that kind of money on him. I need a reason to know about it without looking like I don't trust him, because I absolutely do. Help, what a should I do?
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by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
huntersmama711
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:03 PM
6 moms liked this
You accidentally bumped the wallet on the floor and stuff fell out.
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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:04 PM

I would just ask him why he had that much money on his person and express concern about all the robberies/muggings you see in news.

tansyflower
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:06 PM
3 moms liked this

just tell him the truth. seriously wouldnt you want your partner to be honest with you?

Armadillo79
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:10 PM
3 moms liked this

Sorry, I just cannot comprehend why it would be considered "Snooping". He is your HUSBAND. I wouldn't even think twice if my DH was looking in my wallet, hoping to find a couple bucks cause he never carries cash on him. HE HAS ALMOST A GRAND. Just ASK HIM. Jesus

nicole6870
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell the truth. You weren't technically snooping..or at least not to "catch" anything just general female nosiness.
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davnrori
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:11 PM
3 moms liked this

 I would come right out and ask him and too bad if he thinks you were snooping and 'don't trust him.' He is keeping $750 in his wallet and hasn't told you about it. Does that scream 'TRUST' to you? You can't have an open and honest discussion about money, finances, and budget concerns when he keeps something like that from you. Some nerve of him complaining about money when he's got that much in reserve.

JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't go through my husbands stuff but if I came across something like this, I would ask him point blank. His finances are my finances and vice versa  and I deserve to know exactly what is going on at all times.

Master_Debater
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:13 PM
Eh, I wouldn't even ask my husband. He hides money and I know it. He does it for a reason.
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I.heart.my.kids
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:16 PM
2 moms liked this

be honest and say you were curious as to how he could walk aroud with such a huge wallet and you decided to find out, what made it so dang big

bcauseimthemom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:22 PM

Tell him that since he decided to get all pissy about you speaking about a bill you are paying and his wallet was just sitting there, you decided to go through it.... you know, snoop through his personal property, and you found out that he was carrying around 750 in cash that you didn't know about. Ask him what he needs it for and if he was planning on telling you about it.  I would then offer him my purse to look at it and see what was in it.


IMO, you were being nosey and untrusting.... turns out you are married to a sneaky jerk.

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