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He's coming around again.

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:50 AM
  • 9 Replies

  there was this boy that my now 14 year old dd  hung out with over the summer.   Well supervised but they became really close friends.  He pretty much spent the summer at my house. He wasn't the only kid here  on a daily basis we had a good 10-15 kids hanging out either at my house or at the local playground.  I also have a 10 year old and I was pretty much always around.  moving on her and this kid became good friends. when school started up again his girlfriend from the last school year was his girlfriend again.   He was still spending a lot of time at my house.  All of the local kids knew he was here a lot.  word got back to his girlfriend and a ton of drama became of it.  My dd refused to stop being friends with someone because of his girlfriend.  Alot of threats were being passed around and I even once found about 6 girls waiting out side my house for my dd to get home.   The thing is my dd is 2 grades above these kids.  these kids are in 7th and my dd is in 9th.  Even tho they are much closer in age than their grades. she would get texts from other kids warning her that they were here and she would be a smart mouth and say things like well I'm still in school and I'll deal with the little kids when i get home.  It got to the point that I couldn't let her go anywhere alone.  I would pick her up from the train station after school, take her in the morning. If she was gong to hang out with her girlfriends I would have to walk her there.   eventually she had a confrontation with the girlfriend. where she pretty much told her they were just friends and that if she had a problem with that she needed to take it up with him and not her.  I found out where the girl lived and told her if the threats to my dd didn't stop I would be having a word with her parents.  My dd became busy in school and her and the boy kinda stopped hanging out.  Until a few days ago. He started talking to her on FB and t hen last night he knocked on my door.   Her final production of a school play is today and he is planning on coming. so on top of having to deal with dh getting all daddy mode about a boy hanging around his baby girl, I'm worried the drama with this kids girlfriend starting all over again.

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:50 AM
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Replies (1-9):
NDADanceMom
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:54 AM

If kids are mature enough to have girlfriends and boyfriends (mine were not at that age) they are mature enough to have conversations about all of the consequences.  I would not be friends with someone who was dating someone that harassed me, would you?  Your daughter should be told to respect herself enough to demand her friends stand up for her and keep her safe.  This boy should be dumping someone that would be abusive to his friends.  If he isnt man enough to do that she should avoid him. 

Two_Hearts
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:00 AM

That is a lot of drama for a 14 yr old girl! 

Honestly, i would just let her deal with it and not worry too much about it.

Msgme
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:12 AM



Quoting NDADanceMom:

If kids are mature enough to have girlfriends and boyfriends (mine were not at that age) they are mature enough to have conversations about all of the consequences.  I would not be friends with someone who was dating someone that harassed me, would you?  Your daughter should be told to respect herself enough to demand her friends stand up for her and keep her safe.  This boy should be dumping someone that would be abusive to his friends.  If he isnt man enough to do that she should avoid him. 

As far as I know he has stood up for her. I know he told the girlfriend to knock it off and leave  madalyn alone.He also did spred the word that He would never let anything happen to her.  They even broke up at one point but that just fueled the drama even worse.  But for my dd it was always more about not letting this girl threaten her.  She refused to back down to some girls threats.  There has never been anything other than friendship between my dd and this boy.  She has no interest in him as a "boyfriend" She never did.

Due9
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:14 AM

I would demand that he not come around anymore if this is causing her so much drama.

IndianaWynette
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:26 AM

 i agree

Quoting Two_Hearts:

That is a lot of drama for a 14 yr old girl! 

Honestly, i would just let her deal with it and not worry too much about it.

 

Krj1026
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:47 AM
I agree, his friendship isn't worth it and I would say they couldn't hang out anymore. I am 22 and can tell you the drama affects young girls more than you know.
Caitlin10081989
by Ruby Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:34 PM

I hope the drama does not start back up. Good luck on her school play.

strictmomhere
by Platinum Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:40 PM
Good luck
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Action_Jaxon
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 9:54 PM
you have done an excellent job raising a strong young lady! Telling the boy to stay away would be counterproductive. She would lose a friend and feel like the psycho gf won. She is handling the situation just as she should. Drama happens, especially at this age. Just support her like you have been. You are an awesome mama!
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