well we just realized that we both have different love languages so we are going to work on that and see how it goes. For me it is the arguing and lack of help around the house.
When on person stops trying no matter what you do. I tink anything can be fixed....even SOME cases of abuse (although Id likely just beout the door nvr looking back) and infidelity.
But it the people involved stop trying to work on it, its time to move on.
Huh....he sounds somewhat like my husband . Dont et me wrng, I adore and love my husband. Hes really good o me. But one of he major things we are working on is how uptight/set in his ways/anal/moody/ect.... Hes very much a child when questioned and defensive..even when its not called for.
For example.....he has a smoking room. The vents in it are closed. I could be an asshole and say, smoke outside but this is part of the compromise. Well yesterday,he walked through the house with a LIT cigarette. I could have instantly freaked and yelled. But I didnt. I calmly waited a few mins then went down to his smoking room and said "Hey babe, I know you had to do something but please do not take a lit cigarrete through the house" He insantly flipped. And I calmly walked away. I will not engage him when he is like that. Later when he was alm, he said to me off handedly "I undertsand". End of discussion.
Hes working on it.Hes beenset in his way for YEARS.....and its going to take YEARS to fully change that. I come at it with understanding but a no bullshit attitude. Multiple times a week, he will pull attitude and I will stand my ground and walk away until he has time to digest what Ive said and get it.
Have patience......and keep trying. Sit your husband down and simply say "Hey babe, things have to change. Im miserable and you have to be getting that way feeling not understood. I know its hard to change when youve been this way for a while. I understand But we have to fix this or Im going to be driven to the point of leaving. So what I need for you is to stop the snide comments/sneers and use you words. And I in return will give you a bit of space when you are feeling moody. Im open to any suggetions you have for us to get through this."
If he tries to engage an argument from this....walk away ad let him think.
Quoting Nyx7:He's so fucking useless! He doesn't do ANYTHING around the house including picking up his socks. He is a self proclaimed asshole & lives up to the title. Our entire relationship all Ive ever wanted is to spend time with him. He can't just chill out & enjoy anything. He always has some snide comment that makes me feel like shit. We've talked, he's promised change, nothing ever changes.....
I would never give up unless he was a perpetual cheater or abusive so I couldn't say.
At the moment, I am asking the same question
Quoting Dzyre1115: I would never give up unless he was a perpetual cheater or abusive so I couldn't say.
I got tired of being treated like I was crazy. I would tell people what was going on in our house and he would say things like, "You're over reacting," or "It didn't happen exactly like that." He was also very demeaning and made me fee like I couldn't do anything without him. He was terrible with money. He got a 60K bonus, got 30K in cash and then a portion on every year anniversary, he blew that 30K on video games, DVDs, clothes for him, a trip for his family out to where we were living (Hawaii), and I don't even know what else. You know what he didn't spend it on? Paying off deliquent bills that he had from before we were married. He was also one numb fuck. Anyway, all water under the bridge now.
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