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If you don't know me and I don't expect many of you to know me but I was going with this guy for a year, I was 16 years old and got pregnant by him (my boyfriend Mike), well I missed my period and took the test and find out I'm pregnant then I let Mike know and he told me I'm crazy, I showed him the test and he still didn't believe me, I was scared because I still had to tell my mom and dad and he was acting like this. Well I went to my mom and I told her that I'm pregnant and I showed her the test, she really was shocked and it didn't bother her that I was pregnant, I thought she was going to start yelling at me. But anyways back to my boyfriend, I went to the doctor's after I told my mom and he finally was convinced that I was pregnant, a week later he dumped me because he didn't want to have a kid and I never heard from him since, at this time I was 10 weeks pregnant.

Well I see him and he was walking with his head down and looking away from me the entire time I was in sight of him, I didn't say nothing to him and he said nothing to me. I had my daughter (his bio daughter) with me and of course I'm pregnant with #2 with my current boyfriend. He has done nothing to help support Bree and I know he knew I was there he couldn't possibly have avoided me. I wanted to smack him in his head. I've been going with my current boyfriend since I was 16 weeks pregnant with Bree and this is our son I'm pregnant with now. This just makes me mad to see this jerk and know that he's Bree's real dad and he has to look away, she calls my boyfriend dada btw.

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Replies (101-110):
kayandjsmom
by Alecia on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:35 PM
1 mom liked this

You can. I was a young mom (18) and I had dropped out before. After I dropped out I got pregnant, had my dd and then when she was 5 months I decided to go back and get a diploma and go to college. Seriously, you CAN do it and it's better for your kids. Being a young mom is not what I wanted and I try to talk sense into younger girls because it's not what's best. But you are already and going to school is a big step in the right direction.

Look for schools that work with older students. My school had a free daycare that was connected and I could go in there whenever. I even would go in there for lunch and we would eat together and I would rock her for a nap.


Quoting bressmommy2012:

No I didn't graduate high school, I don't know how I could go back now, never really planned on it though.


Quoting camsmami:

Do you plan on college or getting educated? Did you graduate high school?

Quoting bressmommy2012:

Exactly. I couldn't be happier to be in the postion that I am in right now. I think I've grown up a lot where my former friends are all immature and partying, well I'm being a responsible mom and raising my daughter and soon my son, I'm pretty happy to be where I am at right now.



Quoting ChocolateJunky:



Lol at "your whole life is gone"


Having children is so much better than partying all the time. Perhaps her teen pregnancy did her a favor by skipping over all of those mistakes and hard life lessons that a lot of people make in their late teen years. Just saying. I had my first at 19 and don't think my life could be any better than it is now as a young mother with 2 kids. My life is flourishing.


Quoting Willis_Mommie:

your 18 with 2 kids...i am sorry but you should really stop getting pregnant....your way too young....its kinda sad that your whole life is gone...i am sorry for being blunt


Quoting bressmommy2012:


I'm 18





Quoting Willis_Mommie:

how old are you now???
















MCA23
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:36 PM

 


Quoting bressmommy2012:

I messed up ok, I have admited that several times but that isn't going to change anything. Stop bashing me and I'll stop being a bitch. I'm not stupid, I'm not uneducated just because I didn't finish school. Why is it that people outside of the internet have complimented me on how mature I am and how well I handle myself? Then I get online and make a post and people are all over me bashing me.

You can handle yourself well, but when you need a job you'll be glad to have at least gotten your GED out of the way.  Let that be your starting point.  It's only going to get harder- and I mean that in the most constructive way possible.  I've been with my husband 14 years and never could have imagined all that we've been through back when I was 18, or even when I was 21 and THOUGHT I was an adult.  Life has a funny way of kicking you when you're down, and things certainly don't always go the way you've planned.  You yourself should know this all too well.  Plan ahead.

 

marshsmom
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:40 PM
3 moms liked this

I agree with Meg, you aren't doing the best you can, you are being lazy and co-dependant on a "boyfriend" who hasn't even committed to you (via marriage).  Even in marriage you never know when you will be left to do it on your own.  What he your boyfriend dies tragically soon in life, or what if he decides he can't handle the burden of 2 kids and a girlfriend to care for on his own. Your being lazy, co-dependant, stupid (for not taking better care of yourself) and selfish (for not planning a better life for your kids). I say this not to bash you, but to give you a reality check.  Good luck to your family, especially your kids.  Hope your parents are well off financially, you will probably be needing them....


Quoting Meg10:

 No you aren't. You are sitting there saying you feel no need to get a GED, no need for a degree, no need for a job. That's not doing the best you can at all.

Quoting bressmommy2012:

I am doing the best that I can.


Quoting Meg10:

 Oh for christ's sake stop trying to pick a fight with me. I never said you were a bad mom. I am telling you to take care of yourself and your kids because you never know what will happen.


Quoting bressmommy2012:

I'm sorry. And neither of us know what's going to happen in the future, my boyfriend is supporting me, my daughter and going to be supporting our son when he's born, he has taken on responsiblity and went and got a better job too. I don't see any problems, yeah I'm young I know this but it doesn't mean I'm going to be a bad mom.

Quoting Meg10:

Don't get so defense. I am trying to HELP you. You need to be able to support yourself and take care of your kids no matter if it works out or not.

Quoting bressmommy2012:

And neither do you.


Quoting Meg10:

 Even if doesn't end you need to get the motivation to provide for your daughter without the help of your boyfriend supporting. You have no idea what will happen in the future.


Quoting bressmommy2012:

 Once this relationship ends? Who are you to say that my relationship is going to end? And even if it does who are you to say when it will?


Quoting 3gr8tKids:

Quoting Megan11587:




Most girls at 16 are not having babies.
The issue isnt multiple baby daddies, its multiple babies, no ged, absolutely no way to provide for them once this relationship ends.



















Meg10
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:47 PM
1 mom liked this

 My DH's ex is about to get divorced for the second time with 3 kids and she has been a stay-at-home for years. She is worried and complaining she has no idea how she can support herself and her kids even with C.S. I am not saying that WILL be you. I say you need to protect yourself and your kids so that will never have to be a worry for you.

I was a mom and 21 & 23 and got divorced when my son was 3 months old. I worked before I had them and I still work because I never want to feel like I need someone to take care of me. I work my butt off in a job most women on here would never want to do. We are trying to help you see you NEED to this for yourself, that's being a responsible adult.

Quoting marshsmom:

I agree with Meg, you aren't doing the best you can, you are being lazy and co-dependant on a "boyfriend" who hasn't even committed to you (via marriage).  Even in marriage you never know when you will be left to do it on your own.  What he your boyfriend dies tragically soon in life, or what if he decides he can't handle the burden of 2 kids and a girlfriend to care for on his own. Your being lazy, co-dependant, stupid (for not taking better care of yourself) and selfish (for not planning a better life for your kids). I say this not to bash you, but to give you a reality check.  Good luck to your family, especially your kids.  Hope your parents are well off financially, you will probably be needing them....

 

Quoting Meg10:

 No you aren't. You are sitting there saying you feel no need to get a GED, no need for a degree, no need for a job. That's not doing the best you can at all.

Quoting bressmommy2012:

I am doing the best that I can.

 

Quoting Meg10:

 Oh for christ's sake stop trying to pick a fight with me. I never said you were a bad mom. I am telling you to take care of yourself and your kids because you never know what will happen.

 

Quoting bressmommy2012:

I'm sorry. And neither of us know what's going to happen in the future, my boyfriend is supporting me, my daughter and going to be supporting our son when he's born, he has taken on responsiblity and went and got a better job too. I don't see any problems, yeah I'm young I know this but it doesn't mean I'm going to be a bad mom.

Quoting Meg10:

Don't get so defense. I am trying to HELP you. You need to be able to support yourself and take care of your kids no matter if it works out or not.

Quoting bressmommy2012:

And neither do you.

 

Quoting Meg10:

 Even if doesn't end you need to get the motivation to provide for your daughter without the help of your boyfriend supporting. You have no idea what will happen in the future.

 

Quoting bressmommy2012:

 Once this relationship ends? Who are you to say that my relationship is going to end? And even if it does who are you to say when it will?

 

Quoting 3gr8tKids:

Quoting Megan11587:




Most girls at 16 are not having babies.
The issue isnt multiple baby daddies, its multiple babies, no ged, absolutely no way to provide for them once this relationship ends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

sampson200
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Hon, you're seriously acting like an 18 year old right now.

This gal has GOOD and solid advice.

From someone who hasn't been 18 in a looooong time, she's right; you guys will MOST LIKELY change a LOT in the next decade.

Sure, you might stick together.

But stats have shown that most teen relationships, esp one with as much baggage as you carry currently, don't last because the two people in it are forced to grow up.

But forced to grow up gives you little time to mature.

I wish you luck, but damn.......

Quoting bressmommy2012:

LOL I love how you are acting like you know what my boyfriend wants.


Quoting 3gr8tKids:

Quoting bressmommy2012:




Its called statistics.
You may want to find that motivation you said you were lacking for a number of reasons. As your boyfriend matures and starts to think about getting ahead, he is going to want an equal partner.
He's going to want someone who can have an intellectual conversation, maybe some social grace. Someone he can see himself with long term. Don't shoot the messenger. It won't change anything.
I'd be pissed if you were my daughter.




GraceStrickland
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:10 PM

Kick his pathetic ass with all your super-woman hormonal rage next time you see him.  It will be a fast and effective way to get it out of your system and it will take away that memory of him abandonning you and replace it with one of him curled up in the fetal position.  This is your path to inner peace... =)

Teenage boys have been getting teenage boys pregnant for centuries and leaving them to deal with it alone. That is his stupid decision, you are taking care of her and that is a good and mature decision.  If you go down to your courthouse and file for support it can be deducted directly from his paycheck and you would never need to see him.  It also does not mean he can get custody or partial custody just to spite you. Supervised visitation at best, and that is unlikely.

GaleJ
by Silver Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:18 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't understand why these children are having multiple children with multiple partners. Yes I know that isn't what this post is about but it makes me so sad. I understand that adolescents may be sexually active but there are many ways to prevent pregnancy and so avoid the problem. 

To the OP, I hope you and your children will be okay and have a good life with adequate economic support. I don't understand your choices at all and would suggest that you consider the realities for young parents such as yourself. The statistics are not good and while you may be the exception I can't help but feel that you are starting out with several disadvantages that will be difficult if not impossible to overcome. 

I see your post's title and think that rather than having to shoulder the responsibilities of teenage parenthood you should be just be being a teenager and learning about who you might want to be when you are grown up. Although this reply may seem like criticism I really don't wish to criticize, I just wish it could be otherwise for you and your children.

Amybelle
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:42 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting GraceStrickland:

Kick his pathetic ass with all your super-woman hormonal rage next time you see him.  It will be a fast and effective way to get it out of your system and it will take away that memory of him abandonning you and replace it with one of him curled up in the fetal position.  This is your path to inner peace... =)

Teenage boys have been getting teenage boys pregnant for centuries ????? and leaving them to deal with it alone. That is his stupid decision, you are taking care of her and that is a good and mature decision.  If you go down to your courthouse and file for support it can be deducted directly from his paycheck and you would never need to see him.  It also does not mean he can get custody or partial custody just to spite you. Supervised visitation at best, and that is unlikely.

Teen age GIRLS are just as RESPONSIBLE for getting pregnant as teenage boys, in fact more so IMO as THEY are the ones who go through pregnancy. If a teenage Girl doesn't to get pregnant she needs to abstain or RESPONCIBLY use BIRTH CONTROL

camsmami
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:51 PM
*thumbs up*

You really are ridiculous!


Quoting hizwifie:

I got sloppy. We got married and got careless. It was our fault and I take responsibility for it. I also took precautions not to let it happen again until we were stable and able to handle more than one child. We both graduated from high school, I work and so does he. We have insurance and our kids never go with out. We dont rely on our families and have made a great life for ourselves. I dont know how that is ghetto, but hey what ever helps you sleep at night lol. As for the highly uneducated, we have already been over the fact I have more of an education than the OP and am working on furthering the education I do have. If you mean that I am bad at spelling, who cares? That has never held me back before and never will. If you mean on preventing pregnancy, the fact that I didn't get pregnant again until we wanted to and have not again proves I am. 



Quoting camsmami:

Did condoms work for you? Apparently you had a child young as well.



Once again. You're argument is invalid. Why? Because you're highly uneducated and becoming ghetto.




Quoting hizwifie:


Really? Damn, I could have sworn that in health class they said those things can help prevent pregnancy. Guess they were lying. I will have to let all my friends who have sex and use them and never get pregnant that it was all a lie. 



Quoting camsmami:

You cannot sit back and critique someone for.being uneducated when here you sit. Being you.





Condoms don't have a damn thing to do with anything.
I haven't used any type of BC in 5 years and don't have a child. Do you see me bashing Her?





Things happen, you either deal with it or you fall o your face. Seems to me she's doing her best to deal.





The best you could do for your own self worth is shut up. Because honestly the more you type. The more ignorance spews.








Quoting hizwifie:

Oh boo hoo. What, no real come backs so you decide to cratique my spelling? That is cute. Hey, I may not know how to spell but atleast I know how to use a condom, which deffinatly puts me one up on her. Oh and the part where even with a couple of spelling errors I mannaged to graduated high school. Oh, and having this little thing  called ambition. I guess those things dont matter. You are right, I should aspire to be a baby factory for every guy who treats me nice for 5 min. 




Quoting camsmami:

I do believe she means.

"I guess you had a birthday SINCE you got KNOCKED up"<







DIPLOMA*







br />
And you're bashing her for being uneducated?

*hands you a mirror*
Quoting hizwifie:


You were 17 when you got pregnant, i have seen you post that before. Guess you had a birthday sense you got nicked up. So glad you managed to reach the age most girls are graduating high school before you pushed out the second one. Oh and I got pregnant at 17. I had the good sense to get my high school deploma and I am taking college classes on and off when I get the time. I was also married before I got pregnant, sad that is such a novice idea these days. Making a mistake once is understandable, doing it twice is stupidity. Hope you grow up soon. 


Quoting bressmommy2012:

Good thing I'm not 17



Quoting hizwifie:

You are 17 and pregnant with your second child by a second guy. What the hell is wrong with you? Learn to keep your damn legs closed so you dont have 5 kids before you are even old enough to drink. I mean really. You are not even old enough to get an apartment on your own and you are nocked up for the second time in like 2 years? This is just sad....... 



















Posted on CafeMom Mobile
-KC-
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 1:51 PM

File for child support asap

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