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Awkward situation. What would you say/do?

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So quick background. My dad had his first kid when he was about 19. He married the woman he got pregnant AKA my oldest brothers mom. they got divorced for reasons that I dont know and never asked. He then got with my sisters mom and they got married (this was like 6 years later) When my sister was born her mom realised she did not want kids and took off leaving my dad with my sister. 9 years after having my sister my dad got my mom pregnant with me. The never got married.  My oldest brother was about 18 when I was born. He was raised by his mom. We never lived in the same house, I dont remember seeing him when I was little, and I have seen him like twice in the past 10 years, maybe 8 times my entire life. 

OK now for the situation. His mom died recently. My sister txt me to let me know. IDK if i should say anything or send flowers or something. I mean he is technically my brother, but I hardly know the guy. I dont even know what he does for a living and I dont ever remember meeting his mom, though I may have when I was very young. I also dont know if I should mention it to my dad or what to say if he brings it up. Again I have never met her as far as I know, barely know my "brother" and best of my knowledge my dad had no contact with her after my brother turned 18. My sister said she was going to send flowers and say they are from me, but IDK how I feel about that. It seems kinda weird. Thoughts? 

by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 8:18 PM
Replies (11-19):
Rust.n.Gears
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 8:43 PM

I have a brother that my dad had when he was 15 so he is 6 years older than me. I do not speak with him or his family. I do know what is happening with them though through my close friend. If his mother died I would send flowers and something nice to him. I think it is a good thing to do. 

hizwifie
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:10 PM

Thanks ladies! 

TableforSeven
by Judy on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:21 PM
1 mom liked this

I would send a plant and note to my half-brother if I was in your shoes.  You are blood relatives....even though you don't know him.  A simple note of "I am sorry for your loss" is appropriate.  (IMO)

Seagodess
by Silver Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:35 PM

I think sending flowers or a card would be nice. Even if your not close its the thought that counts. Is there a reason you dont talk/see him? Unless there is some bad history between the two of you I think you should do something.

Cafe Robin
by Group Owner on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:57 PM
I'd send flowers. It's a nice gesture and a nice thing to do.
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babipeanut
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:18 AM

 My parents divorced when I was 8 -Mom died when I was 28.  My dad came to the funeral was seemed upset but ok. I was the had a problem with him being there.  So maybe just call your Dad and ask if he is ok ( in general ) if it is bothering him maybe he'll bring it up.

Summer1214
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:29 AM


I would definitely send something, if i were in your shoes. I have a half-sister that I have never met, I dont even know how old she is, and if i had the chance to get to know her I would at least try.

Quoting hizwifie:

So quick background. My dad had his first kid when he was about 19. He married the woman he got pregnant AKA my oldest brothers mom. they got divorced for reasons that I dont know and never asked. He then got with my sisters mom and they got married (this was like 6 years later) When my sister was born her mom realised she did not want kids and took off leaving my dad with my sister. 9 years after having my sister my dad got my mom pregnant with me. The never got married.  My oldest brother was about 18 when I was born. He was raised by his mom. We never lived in the same house, I dont remember seeing him when I was little, and I have seen him like twice in the past 10 years, maybe 8 times my entire life. 

OK now for the situation. His mom died recently. My sister txt me to let me know. IDK if i should say anything or send flowers or something. I mean he is technically my brother, but I hardly know the guy. I dont even know what he does for a living and I dont ever remember meeting his mom, though I may have when I was very young. I also dont know if I should mention it to my dad or what to say if he brings it up. Again I have never met her as far as I know, barely know my "brother" and best of my knowledge my dad had no contact with her after my brother turned 18. My sister said she was going to send flowers and say they are from me, but IDK how I feel about that. It seems kinda weird. Thoughts? 



AMBG825
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 6:18 AM

 Not awkward. Send flowers.

143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 6:25 AM

 Look at it like he's a co-worker(?)....I mean, out of respect for him loosing his mother you can just send flowers or a card that says "Sorry for your loss"...

You don't have to know him well to do that. (JMO)

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