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Update Hey ladies help me catch my Dh cheating ASAP!

I made a post the other day about emails of my husbands. I've denied everything. Now I am trying to find solid proof. Anyways I just text this number that was on the list of numbers he texted yesterday but there is no messages in his phone. The name came up George. I just said "hey". They text back "hey lol" with a sig that says "mrs jones" with hearts. I don't know what to say now.


Update 11/24 11pm

I am just getting on here updating a little. I have not read all the replies nor am I going to tonight. I am out of state in a hotel with my son to think about things. We will be going to the children's museum tomorrow. He texted me today and told me he needed to talk to me. I was in a meeting but told him I would not be talking to him if he couldn't give me the respect to tell me the truth and after 6 years I deserve that. Well we met at the house. He said the condoms were truely not his (idk whether this is true or not but he HATES condoms I can tell you that much). He said the emails were his but he never actually met up with the person. He said it ended up being a scam when she text him a webcam address and he spent money on it. He said lindsey he put her number under a different name because he was afraid I would get jealous he was talking to another girl. He said all of the conversations he had with her related to work. He said her husband came up to his work today thinking the same thing I was/am because I mentioned condoms. He said his name was also under a different name in her phone. I asked him what made him want to come clean all of a sudden. He told me it was because he deleted his email account/text so I wouldn't have anything on him, and he knew I had him when he got a email at work his email had been re-activated and I already told him earlier I was having a mutual friend come over later to find out the ip address the emails were sent from (although I figured it out without said friend). I still don't know what to do. He did apologize. I just don't want to make a decision without thinking. I love him very much and I want my son to have his father in his life so I can't just think of myself. I also don't want to bring this up to family because it is embarrassing. I also at the same time do not want to worry every minute who he is talking to, who he is sleeping with, where he is ect. I also don't want to deal with him ever cheating again (yes his intentions were cheating so I see it as cheating). I guess I will just try to think about everything tonight and try to sleep and enjoy my time with my son.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:42 PM
Replies (501-510):
motamaid
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:09 AM
/ignore.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ItsAZoo
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:26 AM
:( Do you buy it?


Quoting Crazylovingfam:

I am just getting on here updating a little. I have not read all the replies nor am I going to tonight. I am out of state in a hotel with my son to think about things. We will be going to the children's museum tomorrow. He texted me today and told me he needed to talk to me. I was in a meeting but told him I would not be talking to him if he couldn't give me the respect to tell me the truth and after 6 years I deserve that. Well we met at the house. He said the condoms were truely not his (idk whether this is true or not but he HATES condoms I can tell you that much). He said the emails were his but he never actually met up with the person. He said it ended up being a scam when she text him a webcam address and he spent money on it. He said lindsey he put her number under a different name because he was afraid I would get jealous he was talking to another girl. He said all of the conversations he had with her related to work. He said her husband came up to his work today thinking the same thing I was/am because I mentioned condoms. He said his name was also under a different name in her phone. I asked him what made him want to come clean all of a sudden. He told me it was because he deleted his email account/text so I wouldn't have anything on him, and he knew I had him when he got a email at work his email had been re-activated and I already told him earlier I was having a mutual friend come over later to find out the ip address the emails were sent from (although I figured it out without said friend). I still don't know what to do. He did apologize. I just don't want to make a decision without thinking. I love him very much and I want my son to have his father in his life so I can't just think of myself. I also don't want to bring this up to family because it is embarrassing. I also at the same time do not want to worry every minute who he is talking to, who he is sleeping with, where he is ect. I also don't want to deal with him ever cheating again (yes his intentions were cheating so I see it as cheating). I guess I will just try to think about everything tonight and try to sleep and enjoy my time with my son.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
je80ss
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:54 AM

My heart goes out to you.  There are too many of these men who have it all, only to stray b/c they are missing that something.  I hope he realizes how bad he f'd up.  I also hope that you find the strength to deal with what ever choice you make, whether you stay or go.  Please do not stay JUST for your child because if that is the only reason, you will never get back to a healthy relationship.  I could not imagine if I found out my SO had done this and I have no idea what I would do either because I would not want to always wonder what he was doing but I wouldn't want to split up my family either.  He has put you in a terrible position.  Good luck and remember this is his fault all the way.  Cheating is never ok!hugging

RainyDayLazy
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Yup. I was saying the same thing.

Quoting sav820:

 Google a song " Me and mrs Jones" it a  old song from maybe 60-70's about cheating, I believe thats what the response was about....a way of a heads up incase anyone got into the phones......Listen to the words.....Thats why they responded MRS Jones with hearts !!!!!!  I knew it as soon as I read your message!!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jackies_jewels
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:38 AM

 I personally think he was making it out to be less than it actually was. My heart goes out to you, and I hope that you do what is best for you and your family. :)

wulfeyes05
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:43 AM
Be like dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow.
silverdawn99
by Jamie on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:58 PM

I went thru the same thing

dh had an emotional affair four years ago

the other girl sent inapproiatie texts to him and such

i called him out on it 3 weeks before i was to deiliver our last child

it hasnt been easy to trust him again but i do now and i love him more than ever

GirlieGal76
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 1:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell him that you want to sit down with him, Lindsey, and her husband, so that you can all discuss together that there will be no more contact between her and your husband. I think he was probably just lying to you that her husband approached him at work so that you would back off and think that the husband already knows, when he actually might not. This situation is for him to make right, not you. He needs to be willing to confront everything and be open if he wants to continue with your relationship. If he can't be bothered to do that, he doesn't have respect for you. I'm so sorry for what you're going through...

Vanderhyde
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 2:06 PM
If you take him back make sure you make him go get checked up for any STD. Before having sex with him.
JTnJT
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:17 PM

 

We are all entitled to our own opinions...I never claimed to be better than anyone else...and regardless of everyone else's opinion....I BELIEVE  THAT I DO NOT HAVE TO SINK TO THE LOW OF BEING DISHONEST TO GET INFORMATION I MAY FEEL I NEED!!!  NOTHING LESS NOTHING MORE!

Had you bothered to finish reading....you would have read that I did not leave based on nothing more than a "hunch"....I had solid "proof" of infidelities on my ex husbands part  ( which I got with out being dishonest to do so!!!!!!!)....so yeah....I divorced his effin ass....your damn right.....because my own self worth ment more to me.....then staying with someone who obviously did not value me as a person....

And I'm sorry....I don't care who the person is doing the cheating....they ALWAYS think they are smarter than the next cheating ass hole.....but they very rarely are......in most cases....because of their stupidity is thinking they are "too smart" to get caught.....they are bond to slip up and "hang themselves".....which means....you don't have to be dishonest to find "proof" of infidelity.....you don't have to sink to the low of being dishonest....to catch someone else who is being dishonest.....YOU don't have to agree with that sentiment.....but the fact that you don't....doesnt' make it any less true!!!

Quoting charliebean:

That is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. Especially this part:

Quote:

if he is in fact cheating...you don't have to sit around and wait to "know"....she already "knows"

How exactly does anyone KNOW their partner is cheating if they have no proof? They can assume and guess and suspect, but you can't KNOW without proof. And what does them denying it have anything to do with you having proof? Of course they're going to deny it, but if you don't have proof, why wouldn't you believe their denial?

FTR, the whole part about you being moral and having standards and being better than everyone else and whatnot... Most people value their marriages and families and lifestyles they've built more than to just up and leave over a hunch, and want actual proof so they KNOW that they aren't wrong. That somehow seems more right than choosing to just "know" without proof and divorcing over baseless suspicions.

Quoting JTnJT:

 

As my now 80 yr old father taught me...."you give any fool enough rope...eventually their bond to hang themselves with it."  As I said before you can try and paint this horse any color you like....but it doesn't change the facts.....wrong is wrong...no matter what the "reasoning" is behind it....if he is in fact cheating...you don't have to sit around and wait to "know"....she already "knows"....so the proof isn't for any other purpose than having something to confront him with....which...in most cases you can have the most overwhelming proof....(fit for any jury)....and the cheater is STILL going to deny it....so really....where is the point in stooping to the low of digging for that proof.....I'm sorry maybe it's just the way I was raised to reason things out....doesn't a bit of that "philosophy" make sense.

Quoting charliebean:

 

Quote:

personally I would have rather he come out to my face and said "hell yeah, I'm cheating on you."  Then to have snuck around to do it.
You can prefer that other people act a certain way all you want, doesn't mean that's what's going to happen. If the only way to actually know something is to "sneak around" and be "dishonest" or sit around on your ass waiting for him to come crawling to you confessing everything (because we all know that's how it always goes, right? Because cheaters are so honest and forthcoming), then you'll be waiting a loooong time.
Quoting JTnJT:

 

Not once have I said that a cheater is an honest person....however, sneaking around and setting traps to try and catch a cheater in the act....is just as dishonest as the person doing the cheating....how could you say otherwise? 

My ex husband cheated on me....sure I was hurt, jealous, and totally ready to kill someone....but I didn't start sneaking around in order to try and catch him in the act.  You can find the information you need/want  with out being dishonest yourself doing so.  

There are other ways to "bait and trap" with out stooping to the low of being dishonest or sneaky yourself.  That is the point I was trying to make. 

As someone who has been cheated on...personally I would have rather he come out to my face and said "hell yeah, I'm cheating on you."  Then to have snuck around to do it....it was the sneakiness and dishonesty that had hurt me the most...not the act itself.....so with that thought in mind....I would never sink to the same lows (being dishonest and sneaky) as the person thought to be cheating.

Quoting Paperfishies:

Yes because a cheater, someone who is lying and fucking around will say, "why yes dear, I am sticking my dick into my secretary 3 times a week!"  When you ask him.  

Cheaters are sneaking around for a reason, not many come straight out and tell you the truth without them knowing you have 100% factual evidence.

i caught my husband by looking at his cell phone bill.  There was one number on there over and over, yet the number was never in his phone.

when i confronted him, he turned it around on me. Told me it was my insecurities and that I was crazy.

he denied he was cheating until I took his phone out of his pocket one night while he as sleeping and he forgot to delet some texts... And there it was, them describing their sex acts in great detail...and even then he still tried to deny it.  Lmao.

sometimes in order to get the truth you have to go digging around for it.

Quoting JTnJT:

Why does everyone think they need to sneak around and "try" to catch the SO in the act?  Doing this doesn't make you any better than the person doing the cheating....assuming of course he is actually cheating....and not that you've just let your imagination run away with you....isn't part of the issue that the person cheating...isn't being honest and straight forward?   So, how is what you are doing any better?  This kind of shit just blows my mind.....be an effing adult and use your big girl words and talk to the man!!!

 

 

 

 


 

 



 

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