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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Are you planning to put your parents in a nursing home?

I refuse to. I've been in some "nice" ones and I've been in some "bad" ones. Abuse happens in all of them. Don't be daft and think it doesn't or can't.

***Yes,I realize that some people have "no other choice" than to put their parents in a home.I'm not directing this at you.***

 However, most do it because they can't work taking care of their elderly parents into their busy family schedules. It's a good thing your parents didn't feel the same way about you when YOU were helpless and dependent on them. 

If your parents were assholes...then do what you want. But if your parents loved you and did their best for you...why would you put them through this?

 

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:09 PM
Replies (31-40):
stacefaceninja
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:59 PM

yeah...that's definitely one of those situations where your hands are tied. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it is for you:(

Quoting greenie63:

It is a matter of safety. For him in addition to our children. At one point he became combative and was hitting people. 

Quoting stacefaceninja:

My heart honestly hurts for you. It's just not a decision I could make. I would want him at home. Just in case.

Quoting greenie63:

My mother passed in 2007, she and my father lived in a retirement community, a ranch style home where they lived with other seniors independently. After my mom passed, my father went downhill, he has dementia. He is in a nursing home, he sleeps about 98% of the time, hardly eating, his few waking moments are horrible with yelling about his past. He mixes things that happened with his job and being in WWII (he's a veteran). There isn't much we can do at this point, he's almost 87. 





-If for any reason you feel an urge to correct my grammar, spelling, or punctuation, please suppress this urge. You are not important enough to me to spend time editing before I post.  I will just laugh at you-

tansyflower
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:04 PM

my dad yes, but his mental illness id dangerous and cant be around my children without risking their safety.  but i have already spoken to my mother and she knows that i will be the one that will provide her end of life care in my home.

AJSCASJMSmom
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:16 PM
My mom yes. My brother and I said pay back is a bitch for our childhood. My dad hell no.
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Oceana09
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:17 PM
1 mom liked this

After working in one myself...over my dead fucking body

mothernature
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:18 PM

i watched an episode of strickest parents ,i think it was india ? maybe, but they brought the kids to a "nursing home" and they told the kids this is were the elderly go that have no family ! and that made me wonder if in other countries they think of the elderly as their responsibility as opposed to americans thinking this is where we are supposed to put the elderly . i was raised to take care of my elderly just as my mother did but as my mom has gotten older she is saying don't bother but i know she hopes i do , who wants to be stuck with strangers in the end ?

shivasgirl
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this

My dad will always have a home with me...my mom? if my little bastard brother doesnt take care of her then she better pray that Medicare helps her out....and for the record I have been taking care of HER mother for the last 25 years, I love my grammi

jadsmummy
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:26 PM

Never ever in a million years would I.

terpmama
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:35 PM
My folks are trying to put themselves Ina home right now! Both are fully able bodied and very active! They prefer not living with us kids so we would respect their wishes, whether that be a home, a home care nurse or moving in with us (we are closer and my sil is an only child with 2 sets of parents... So my folks fall to us as my hubby has two brothers who live closer to their parents).
mama_l
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:36 PM
Yes I would put them in and will most likely have to with my father. Some conditions necessitate extra care. I would also visit daily. I have gained the nickname of bulldog, within the family, due to my diligent and forward nature when it comes to talking to doctors about my loved ones and their care.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Rhonda142
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:37 PM

I use to work in a few as a nurses aid there is no way in hell I would ever put my parents in a home, plus I have been warned already they would haunt me forever if I did. Nuff said!

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