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Are you planning to put your parents in a nursing home?

I refuse to. I've been in some "nice" ones and I've been in some "bad" ones. Abuse happens in all of them. Don't be daft and think it doesn't or can't.

***Yes,I realize that some people have "no other choice" than to put their parents in a home.I'm not directing this at you.***

 However, most do it because they can't work taking care of their elderly parents into their busy family schedules. It's a good thing your parents didn't feel the same way about you when YOU were helpless and dependent on them. 

If your parents were assholes...then do what you want. But if your parents loved you and did their best for you...why would you put them through this?


by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:09 PM
Replies (41-50):
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:41 PM
I am fully prepared to have my mom or my father in law come live with me. They are both 65 so let's home they at least have another 10-15 years before that happens.
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by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:44 PM

We also put my grandma in one. She came to live with us and my mother took great care of her (my dad too since it was his mom)... She became horribly depressed. She was from a small town and so missed all her friends. We tried day programs but she started refusing to go because she didnt like the other old people. We placed her in a home two blocks away and she thrived! She was pissed at first, but we invited her to come stay the first weekend she was there (placed on a Monday) and she said thank you but I'm only free Friday for dinner, we have plans this weekend. She was close enough that I could ride my bike down and have lunch with her on the weekend and she loved showing me off. She was much happier there than at our house alone/stuck with just us and no friends of her own.

by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:51 PM

My mother passed way this past summer and she was at the home she lived in for the last 46 years, she was in a rehabilitation center for a few weeks and absolutely hated it but, we refused to have her released until we could hire a nurse to be there 9-5 M-F and we stayed on weekends. Her illness took her quite quickly diagnoised in November of 2011 and passed in July 2012.

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:56 PM
I always tease my mom that I will but she already lives with us and helps out. So no I wouldn't do that to her. My dad has his "other" family they can worry about it not me. Plus he lives 1300 miles away which is fine by me. My mil I would but she has her own apt at one of my sil's house so I know she's taken care of. My fil passed away 7 years ago
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I have already told my parents that I would keep 1 of those automatic dog feeders in the basement set them up with some real nice bunk beds let them come out for dinner. They are pretty stoked! : )
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by Sue on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:01 AM

My mom lived in a group home, not a nursing home. She had to live there because of her mental illness and they made sure she took her meds everyday. I wish I could have had her live with me, but I lived in a very small apartment and I had to work at the time, so I wasn't home to take care of her. I went to see her every week and got to know the lady that owned the group home.

I have heard of the horror stories of nursing homes though. I used to work as a home care assistant and I could never work in a nursing home. I think the people that work there are overworked and can't give the patients the attention that they deserve. There is no excuse for the elderly and disabled being treated like that, but I'm afraid that the workers feel overwhelmed and become desensitized to the plight of the ones that live there.

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:01 AM

 Actually, there are a lot of parents today who can't fit their kids into their busy schedules- That's how daycares make money, right?

When my parents were taking care of me as a baby, they were 18 and 19yrs old when I was born, they had no other responsibilities other than going to work and raising kids. They had pretty much unlimited earning capacity and were just starting out in life. When my mom gets old enough to be in a nursing home, we'll say 85 or so, I'll be 64 going on 65. Retirement age. That means fixed income. I also have 3 kids of my own who will be 40, 36, and 34yrs old at that time. They will probably have kids of their own. I don't know if I'll need to help them out at all. And I know my mom would want me to take care of myself, my kids, and my grandkids. I can't really say what I would do. At least I don't have to worry about my dad. He married a woman who is only 7yrs older than me so he's her problem when he gets to that age.

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:02 AM
My mom plans to split the year between me and my sister. But we will see since they're in California and I'm in Tennessee with real seasons. My grandpa still lives on his own and he will be 95 this year. He even drives! Grandma passed in 2008. My husbands parents are still young, probably another 25 to 30 years.
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by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:04 AM

Yes I do per their request and they already know where they want to go and NO abuse does not happen where they are going.  We know 100% my grandparents were both in this one and were lucid and 100% had all mental abilities till the day they died. 

Sorry I have a 3 bedroom house w/4 kids where in heavens name even if I did take them, where would I put them??  So before you get all high and mighty I love my parents enough to follow their wishes.

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:06 AM
Thankfully my parents are still too young for that, but it would be their decision where they want to be.
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