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if you knew your family (my mother and little sister) did not like the man you were with, the one you are going to marry, or already have, how would you react when they visited? 

I sent my fiance out of the house today while my mother is here. I dont think its fair for him to have to feel uncomfortable in his own home because he knows she doesnt like him. (she told him to his face after he found out behind his back). He was happy to leave the house. LOL

I know my mother will call him a coward and that hes not putting effort in, but i dont expect him to do that. I would hate to be around someone who doesn't like me knowing they are just being fake.. 

im hoping she doesnt say anything cause i might go off. 

Am i doing the wrong thing? should i have had him stay? im dreading her coming! 

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:18 PM
Replies (11-20):
TableforSeven
by Judy on Jan. 26, 2013 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Until my mother could be decent to my husband SHE was the one not allowed in our home - not him.

And, yes, I am speaking of my actual life, not hypothetically.

MrsKoolaidPunk
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this

My fiancee's parents hate me, and mine are not fond of him. They have pretty good reasons, but his mom just hates me because he's her little boy. 
But I don't go to their house and he doesn't go to my family's house. We can do that on our own time. 

HarrisFamily740
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:44 PM
1 mom liked this

To make it clear i did not tell him he had to leave i told him he could stay or go! 


She doesnt like him cause to her he has no personalitity...


but eitherway it is done and over with, she came over.. my finace showed up a few mins after she did and we kinda did a bunch of small talk. I love my finace for doing it.. i know he felt uncomfortable even tho she was being respectful to us. it was still akward.. Thanks for your thought tho! :) 

Miller0305
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:57 PM


I agree.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I would not allow my mother over. Its his house if she cant be sociable to him in his home she needs to stay away.



PISCIS29
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:39 PM
2 moms liked this
Well at least he knows. My mom and one of my sis's always act so fake around my dh it pisses me off. Ever since we let them know that sis is fooling or was fooling around with one of dh's friends. My parents and sis stopped talking to both of us bc they thought his friend and us were just jealous. Ha yeah right. So now I go to my parents house without him and they STILL have the nerve to ask why he doesn't stop by. Come on!
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GaleJ
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Family situations are complex and simply beyond belief. I honestly don't think there a wrong or right here. As long as you and your partner are comfortable with what's going on then just handle as you feel you should at the moment. Good luck I know how hard it is when the in-laws don't like you, my mother-in-law disliked me from the moment she met me and that dislike remained even as I took care of her through hospice.

Kara242
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:16 PM

my mother in law doesnt like me or my kids(her grandkids) I was married once before and had my oldest dd. Mil didnt like that I came with baggage and sucked her son in. She wasnt ready to be a grandma when we got married and my dd was 4 and I was prego with dd#2. She still doesnt act like a grandma to my kids.

nicole6870
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:27 PM
My mom and DH didn't get along for years. In fact we were together for 5 yrs before they started getting along. He used to leave (bc he wanted to) when she came over. On Christmas he would drop Dd and I off at her house and he'd go to his sisters. I finally had enough and so had he. He decided that as long as she was respectful he'd stop avoiding her like the plague. Now they get along fine. He invites her over w/out even asking me first. They still fight but now he tells her to shove it and she knows i'll take his side so she shuts up. If your DH chooses to not be around her then give him his space but she needs to understand that she is expendable whereas he is NOT. Good luck!
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calsmom62
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Exactly. This.


Quoting Val99:

If someone doessnt like my husband and I wanted to see them I would go somewhere else to visit. I would never invite someone into our home that dislikes my husband and he would never invite someone in who didn't like me.



Respect is why we've been happily married for 15 years.

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Rhonda142
by Silver Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:46 PM

My mother wouldn't step a foot in my home if she couldn't respect my SO if he is contributing to the household.  That is so disrespectful! I don't care if he was ok with leaving or not it is still very wrong.  

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