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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Watching my father die, need company

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Or maybe a good argument to keep my mind occupied. I flew into Boston from Poemix with my five year old son. My mom and half brother picked us up at the airport and we came straight to the hospital. As recently as this morning they thought he had a couple of weeks.  When I called to tell my mom my plane was delayed she told me he had less than 24 hours.   So we came straight from the airport. They stayed a little while and then went home. I'm spending the night in his room.

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:26 PM
Replies (71-80):
greenie63
by Nancy on Jan. 31, 2013 at 2:03 PM

You have opened up a very emotional part of your life to us momma, and you have my total respect. You've given me a lot to think about with my father who is in hospice currently, slowiy dying (he has dementia). 

Secrets in the past few years, which I will not disclose on here, have come forth about my fathers past which have affected some of us, and divided some of my siblings. It's especially difficult for me since I forgot what he did to me when I was child until a similar experience was revealed to the family. 

I have a lot of anger and I didn't go to see him for almost 2 years in the nursing home. It's weird, I chose to cover my past with good times in my childhood, and then it all came back so fast. In the past few months since he has progressed and is now so little, I could literally pick him up. 

We have a book for visitors to sign, to write down anything he may say if he's having a lucid moment, and I wrote in the book that I forgive him. It seems the only way. I love him, but I hate what he did to me, and others. 

My father is already gone, he's just a living shell at this point. 

((hugs))

AF2011
by Gold Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:45 PM

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

hmm...if you flew out of Sky Habor, don't park anywhere where it says DON'T PARK not even for a second. You'll get a ticket!

emilysmom8
by Dawn on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:02 PM

 

Quoting demonica29:

He died last night.  About 8 hours after I signed him into hospice and came to my mom's to get some sleep. I wasn't there, and that is hard.

 I am sorry for your loss.

PinkDragonFly
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:06 PM

I'm so sorry! I was with my sister when she took her last breath on Jan 10th.

Sharon

http://www.cafemom.com/group/118222


demonica29
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:01 PM

My five year old son and I were the only ones at the memorial today. 81 yard, and you lived them so badly that your children don't even have anyone to call and tell. Yet, in the end, I loved him again. I moved heaven and earth to be with him. My baby and I gave hima good send off really, my five year old touched him then kissed him, because he wanted to. I would never force him. He's so much like me, my little baby adult. 

demonica29
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:35 AM


I need to talk to you. I mean need. I think you might need to talk to me too. Please, talk to me when this drama is over. Can you friend me on here or something so I can give you my email?

Quoting greenie63:

You have opened up a very emotional part of your life to us momma, and you have my total respect. You've given me a lot to think about with my father who is in hospice currently, slowiy dying (he has dementia). 

Secrets in the past few years, which I will not disclose on here, have come forth about my fathers past which have affected some of us, and divided some of my siblings. It's especially difficult for me since I forgot what he did to me when I was child until a similar experience was revealed to the family. 

I have a lot of anger and I didn't go to see him for almost 2 years in the nursing home. It's weird, I chose to cover my past with good times in my childhood, and then it all came back so fast. In the past few months since he has progressed and is now so little, I could literally pick him up. 

We have a book for visitors to sign, to write down anything he may say if he's having a lucid moment, and I wrote in the book that I forgive him. It seems the only way. I love him, but I hate what he did to me, and others. 

My father is already gone, he's just a living shell at this point. 

((hugs))



emilysmom8
by Dawn on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:40 AM

 

Quoting demonica29:

My five year old son and I were the only ones at the memorial today. 81 yard, and you lived them so badly that your children don't even have anyone to call and tell. Yet, in the end, I loved him again. I moved heaven and earth to be with him. My baby and I gave hima good send off really, my five year old touched him then kissed him, because he wanted to. I would never force him. He's so much like me, my little baby adult. 

 I am sorry.. One of the hardest things in the world to do is say good bye to a parent. My dad died 18 years ago and to this day saying good bye to him was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

 

greenie63
by Nancy on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:46 AM

No problem, I just sent a friend request. I'll be in and out today, I have a class today, and have to do some errands, but I will respond. Take your time, I'll be here. 

Quoting demonica29:


I need to talk to you. I mean need. I think you might need to talk to me too. Please, talk to me when this drama is over. Can you friend me on here or something so I can give you my email?

Quoting greenie63:

You have opened up a very emotional part of your life to us momma, and you have my total respect. You've given me a lot to think about with my father who is in hospice currently, slowiy dying (he has dementia). 

Secrets in the past few years, which I will not disclose on here, have come forth about my fathers past which have affected some of us, and divided some of my siblings. It's especially difficult for me since I forgot what he did to me when I was child until a similar experience was revealed to the family. 

I have a lot of anger and I didn't go to see him for almost 2 years in the nursing home. It's weird, I chose to cover my past with good times in my childhood, and then it all came back so fast. In the past few months since he has progressed and is now so little, I could literally pick him up. 

We have a book for visitors to sign, to write down anything he may say if he's having a lucid moment, and I wrote in the book that I forgive him. It seems the only way. I love him, but I hate what he did to me, and others. 

My father is already gone, he's just a living shell at this point. 

((hugs))




ald1920
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:19 AM
I'm so sorry. I went threw that with both my parents and it tuff to go threw so hang in their.
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Homeschoolmom99
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:30 AM

Hugs

Quoting Evansmommy1130:

I'm sorry, I've been there. :(


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