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A Rant: This might make me sound horrible, but I don't feel bad for her!

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:27 AM
  • 10 Replies
I posted a while ago about my parents getting custody of my cousin's 18-month-old son. Well, since I last posted about it, my cousin has signed over her rights and the little guy moved in with my parents two weeks ago. He is adjusting quite well. He calls my mom "mama" and she always corrects him, but this little boy calls three other people mama or mommy. It's sad.

This morning my mom sent me a message on Fb venting because the child hasn't seen a dr since he was two months old. He's obviously way behind on his vaccinations and they can't add him to dad's insurance until after they get the order from the court. And they don't go to court until Feb 7 (I think). My mom is stressing out a little about money, which is understandable, but they can afford it. However, she said she feels bad for my cousin. What I said probably makes me sound like a terrible person, but I said it anyway.

I told my mom I have zero respect for my cousin, M. I don't feel a bit bad for her. I got pregnant at a young age and I'm raising my children. I didn't pawn my children off on whomever would take them. The only thing that girl cares about is herself and whatever swinging dick is the flavor of the week. She hasn't lived with her child since he was less than a month old. Instead, she bed hops all around town and will pop in to see her child when she wants money from whoever has him. Everybody in the family enables her behavior. While I feel terrible for her child, I don't feel bad for her. Her son will grow up thinking his mom didn't care about him because his aunt and uncle raised him. And now she wants another child?!? For the love of all things holy, I hope she's on birth control otherwise my parents will probably end up raising another child that isn't theirs. I feel bad for the people who have to change every aspect of their lives to ensure that this innocent child is taken care of because his worthless mom didn't care enough to grow up and take care of him. It makes me sick. What "mother" (and I use that term very lightly when referencing M) can carry a child for 40 weeks and then just dump them off on whoever will take them?!? She's a poor excuse for a mother.

Like I said, I know it makes me sound bad, but come on!! Nobody should feel bad for her. Her innocent child is the victim in all of this. She's not a damn victim, although she's trying to play that card. Nobody took her child from her. She gave him up. I think it's awesome that my parents stepped up to raise him, but it's still sad that that's what had to happen. Ugh!!!

Rant over.
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by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Momyplease
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:34 AM
1 mom liked this
why would she wasn't another child when the one she gave birth to not even with her.if that's the whole story then she should be not allowed to have any more children until she takes the one she has care of well.
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MeghanPerez
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:39 AM
She says she wants a daughter. She was going on and on about it at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It took everything I had to keep my mouth shut.

Quoting Momyplease:

why would she wasn't another child when the one she gave birth to not even with her.if that's the whole story then she should be not allowed to have any more children until she takes the one she has care of well.
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tansyflower
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:45 AM

sometimes empathy goes a long way.  i would feel sorry for her that she cant step up and be a good parent because it is hurting her family and child.  my sister fucks up a lot and i feel sorry for her.  she never learned how to be a functional person and now it is affecting how she raises her children.  i feel sorry for them as well.  i also feel sory for my mom who swoops in and saves them becuase she is sick and its hard for her to take care of herself much less three other people.

sometimes situations just suck and going around hating people only makes you feel bad.  living with anger is much harder than feeling sorry for a person and the poor decisions that they make.

Momyplease
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:45 AM
wow I would not kept my mouth shot I probably would tell her to live the house. What a dumbass Im sorry for my French but she has no heat or brain. God I will pay for her to see her ways are bad. And for your family to be able to cope with it all.

hugs good bless
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pixie-buttercup
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:46 AM

It doesn't make you a bad person at all. If it does, then I'm a bad person too. I agree with everything you said 100%. Kudos to your parents for stepping up and raising that baby! I don't know that I would have been able to keep my mouth shut if I heard her saying she wants another baby. Good God. 

I have a distant cousin (not related by blood) that had several DUI's and on his 3rd, he hit and killed a young mother. He went to jail. On Easter (I was still a teenager so this was a long time ago) my aunt and his sisters got a call from him. They all passed the phone around and took turns crying and listening to him whine about what a horrible time he was having in jail. Someone asked if I wanted to talk to him and I refused. I got yelled at in the car on the way home for being rude. Love enablers. 

foran
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:53 AM
My brother ex-wife was like that my brother has custody of the 2boys they had together the other little boy is with the other fathers family and she has her little girl she got mad at me because i had three girls these girls are selfish tgey dont know what they have done to these boys mentally i understand your frustration
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Due9
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:36 AM

I can't stand people like your cousin. I would tell her to keep her legs shut.

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:13 AM
I agree with this. And her family enabling her isn't helping her learn any differently.

Quoting tansyflower:

sometimes empathy goes a long way.  i would feel sorry for her that she cant step up and be a good parent because it is hurting her family and child.  my sister fucks up a lot and i feel sorry for her.  she never learned how to be a functional person and now it is affecting how she raises her children.  i feel sorry for them as well.  i also feel sory for my mom who swoops in and saves them becuase she is sick and its hard for her to take care of herself much less three other people.

sometimes situations just suck and going around hating people only makes you feel bad.  living with anger is much harder than feeling sorry for a person and the poor decisions that they make.

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kitty8199
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:16 AM
I wouldn't have. I would've ripped her a new one

Quoting MeghanPerez:

She says she wants a daughter. She was going on and on about it at Thanksgiving and Christmas. It took everything I had to keep my mouth shut.



Quoting Momyplease:

why would she wasn't another child when the one she gave birth to not even with her.if that's the whole story then she should be not allowed to have any more children until she takes the one she has care of well.
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tansyflower
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:18 AM

yup.  vicious cycle of abuse and dysfunction.  i am blesed that i married a "normal" guy and have been able to work through a lot of issues with a trauma counceler.  my sister has not been as fortunite.  all i can do is continue to offer her help and try to get her into school and point her towards some professional counceling to support her mental health so she can learn how to be more functional and deal with the issues holding her back.

but it doesnt stop me from loving her.  i know why she is the way she is and i just pray one day she can rise above it and enjoy living a good life.

Quoting coolmommy2x:

I agree with this. And her family enabling her isn't helping her learn any differently.

Quoting tansyflower:

sometimes empathy goes a long way.  i would feel sorry for her that she cant step up and be a good parent because it is hurting her family and child.  my sister fucks up a lot and i feel sorry for her.  she never learned how to be a functional person and now it is affecting how she raises her children.  i feel sorry for them as well.  i also feel sory for my mom who swoops in and saves them becuase she is sick and its hard for her to take care of herself much less three other people.

sometimes situations just suck and going around hating people only makes you feel bad.  living with anger is much harder than feeling sorry for a person and the poor decisions that they make.


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