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Would you take children to a funeral?

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:33 PM
  • 64 Replies

My great Aunt passed away yesterday. She was more like a grandma to me than a great aunt. My boys are ages 4(5 in april) and 2 and they were her world. She loved them dearly and always asked about them. She came over for years every friday to visit us and wouldnt miss one unless she was sick or in the hospital the last time she could make it to a friday visit was in November. She came to all birthday parties and holiday events(Unless she was in the hospital).She was sick in the mornings and couldnt go to my oldest soccer games but since his practices were later in the afternoons when she felt better she came to those instead. My mom and grandma said I should bring the boys to the funeral. I thought it would be a good idea.We wil be sending a picture with the boys in a frame with her. My uncle also thought it would be nice if the boys could walk behind the casket as they carry her out. But then thinking that my oldest might want to help maybe he could just put a hand on the casket like he was carrying it out. and my youngest could hold his dads hand who will be a pallbearer. My youngest wouldnt really understand what is going on my oldest somewhat understands especially since we just lost my cousin in september who he was pretty close to but they didnt go to his funeral.. He knows that shes sleeping and in heaven and that she wont be coming back but she is always with us and he can talk to her anytime and she will hear him. My dad thinks its a horrible idea to take them. I disagree I thnk it will be good especially for my oldest maybe he will understand it all better.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
christina0607
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Of course. For them the funeral won't be hard.

The wake is usually harder for small kids to understand.
CreziaMommyTo2
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:43 PM
1 mom liked this

i would take them to the funeral, but not the wake/s

JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:43 PM

My father in law will die within the next week or so. I just told my husband last night that I am fine with the kids attending the funeral, they are 7 & 9, but not the wake. They are too emotional about him being sick to begin with, they can not handle being in a room just watching his body.

becauseIsaid
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this

They were close to her so yes take them. Just make sure to explain to them before hand everything that is going to take place.

Caitlinmari
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:48 PM

 there will be a viewing at the beginning I wont force them to go up. IF they want to they can if not they can just sit in the back.


Quoting christina0607:

Of course. For them the funeral won't be hard.

The wake is usually harder for small kids to understand.


 

Cherish77
by Cherish on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:21 PM
I took my dd to my grandmas funeral when dd was 4, she handled it better than me. She even got to help release the doves.
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iwanabemomie
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:23 PM
I couldn't take my DD to one,she'll talk through the whole thing lol.
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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:25 PM
I agree with you. DH didn't want the kids to go to his father's funeral and because it was his dad and he was grieving, I went along with it but I didn't agree. I think kids need to know death is a part of life.
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DragonMother10
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:39 PM
I was 10 when I went to my first funeral and wake and it was my paternal grandmother. It was hard but I was old enough to understand that death happens. It kind of helped when I had fish and when they died, I learned that is what happens in life.
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cjsix
by faith on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:47 PM

 Ignore your dad and take them. They were very close to her and very special to her...I think she would want them there and it sounds like there has been thought put into having your boys there by all involved. I am sorry you lost your Aunt,she sounds like a very sweet and wonderful lady!

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