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Is this normal?

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:54 PM
  • 13 Replies

So my DD (5) was caught a few days ago around bed time up against my DS (3) bed with her pants down, I took the time out to explain to her that that was wrong and discipline her as I saw fit... Earlier today my husband caught her doing the same thing around lunch time exposing herself to my son and its a concern now.. the first time I thought it was curiosity but now Im nervous.  I worry if maybe something is happening at school but no teachers have made me aware of this.  Does anyone have any experience with this sort of thing 


by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kansasmom1978
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:56 PM
To me it is huge red flag! I was abused and I would suggest you talk to her or have someone else
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Alexsangel07
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:57 PM

Im not so worried about her being abused at home but Im worried about her school if maybe one of the kids at school is being abused and showing her so she thinks its normal.. or if somethng happened at school


Quoting kansasmom1978:

To me it is huge red flag! I was abused and I would suggest you talk to her or have someone else



frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:58 PM

Have you asked her why she does that?  Then talk to her teacher about any behaviors that may be happening at school as well.

kansasmom1978
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 4:58 PM
I did not mean to imply someone at home. I would venture it is happening at school.


Quoting Alexsangel07:

Im not so worried about her being abused at home but Im worried about her school if maybe one of the kids at school is being abused and showing her so she thinks its normal.. or if somethng happened at school



Quoting kansasmom1978:

To me it is huge red flag! I was abused and I would suggest you talk to her or have someone else





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Alexsangel07
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:01 PM


When she thinks shes in trouble she clams up so I think when I talk to her she doe that because she believes shes in trouble we were going to talk to her teacher tomorow when we drop her off

Quoting frndlyfn:

Have you asked her why she does that?  Then talk to her teacher about any behaviors that may be happening at school as well.



Kmary
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:04 PM

Honestly, it could go either way.   It could definitely be a sign of her being exposed to something she shouldn't, but at the same time, kids do odd things when they're "discovering" their bodies and the differences between theirs and the other gender's, etc.  There was a whole, long post about this a week or so ago I think (can't remember which group) and you'd be amazed at all the moms who described doing some "odd" things with their bodies when they were little and almost none of them had been abused or exposed to anything inappropriate.  Seek out a little info from her teachers, etc, but try not to get too worried about it just yet. 

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:04 PM

Yeah this is a hard age to get answers but i would keep trying to talk to her and try to get the why of the action.  I have known children to go through this phase but usually after the first time they are told to stop, they do.


Quoting Alexsangel07:


When she thinks shes in trouble she clams up so I think when I talk to her she doe that because she believes shes in trouble we were going to talk to her teacher tomorow when we drop her off

Quoting frndlyfn:

Have you asked her why she does that?  Then talk to her teacher about any behaviors that may be happening at school as well.





Alexsangel07
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:08 PM


this was where my direction of thinking was but I cant help but be a little concerned ty for this comment I do plan to talk to her teachers and plan to continue talking to her about the fact that that is wrong

Quoting Kmary:

Honestly, it could go either way.   It could definitely be a sign of her being exposed to something she shouldn't, but at the same time, kids do odd things when they're "discovering" their bodies and the differences between theirs and the other gender's, etc.  There was a whole, long post about this a week or so ago I think (can't remember which group) and you'd be amazed at all the moms who described doing some "odd" things with their bodies when they were little and almost none of them had been abused or exposed to anything inappropriate.  Seek out a little info from her teachers, etc, but try not to get too worried about it just yet. 



Alexsangel07
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:08 PM


I do plan to, its a scary experience at the same time I know that kids do the strangest things sometimes

Quoting frndlyfn:

Yeah this is a hard age to get answers but i would keep trying to talk to her and try to get the why of the action.  I have known children to go through this phase but usually after the first time they are told to stop, they do.


Quoting Alexsangel07:


When she thinks shes in trouble she clams up so I think when I talk to her she doe that because she believes shes in trouble we were going to talk to her teacher tomorow when we drop her off

Quoting frndlyfn:

Have you asked her why she does that?  Then talk to her teacher about any behaviors that may be happening at school as well.







Mrsfarr
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:11 PM
Sounds like either normal child like curiosity or someone showing her these things. Kids do weird things sometimes so don't jump automatically to abuse.
It's a good idea to talk to her teacher about what's been happening and ask about her behavior. If anything, it might open teacher's eyes to maybe another student being abused and showing her these things.
If it gets worse, take her into a doctor to get checked out. Which I really hate to suggest because it can be so traumatic and wouldn't be good if she hasn't been touched inappropriately by someone.

You could start with a conversation explaining good and bad touch and asking her if she's had people show her bad touching before. And keep explaining to her that if someone did that to her, she isnt the one in trouble If it's a conversation, she might not clam up.
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