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Frustrated

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:24 PM
  • 11 Replies
I have been with my bf for about 4 years and lately I've been joking with him and hinting to him that I wanna get engaged. Well his sister heard me say it the other day and was like ur not getting married for a looooonnnnngggg time he doesn't want that type of commitment. He always jokes with me too. Should I be concerned or just ignore what she said??

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by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jennie2263
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:27 PM

My husband said that for the first year we were together and then proposed to me about a year and a half in. I wouldn't be too worried. If he jokes with you about it, he's probably more ready than what his sister believes he is. Remember, that was just her opinion of if he was ready. Unless he says it, I wouldn't buy it. Hope it works out for you :)

krise
by Platinum Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:31 PM

I would have a heart to heart talk with him. Don't waste your time with her or assuming. 

Gorilla_Mama
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:47 PM
You need to have an honest conversation with him about it. My DH kept bringing it up and not doing anything about it finally I just flat out asked him if he was serious about what he was saying or if it just sounded good to say. He was serious about it and said he didn't realize I felt like he was jerking me around. 3 weeks later I had a formal proposal and a wedding shortly after.
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tansyflower
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:52 PM

idk my dh was pretty honest with me.  i told him straight up when he asked me to move in with him that i was not interested in playing house and that i expected marriage and children if i were to commit to a long term relationship.  he understood and told me that he wouldnt have asked me to move in with him if he wasnt prepared to take the next step.

it took him about 10 months to ask me to marry him and we eloped a few weeks later.  i dont think that men who know what they want want to waste their time either!  if it were me i would just talk to him and ask him how he really felt about where your relationship was heading.

MamaMoopsie
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:02 PM

I was in this situation with my now DH. He'd been married twice and was convinced he couldn't do it again. However we had two daughters together and I wanted to feel like I was important enough that he'd make that commitment to me because I wanted to make that comittment to him.

Why don't you just sit down with him and ask him how he really feels. I knew how my DH felt but I thought he would change his mind eventually, but then he didn't propose or anything, never brought up marriage at all. So I sat down and told him that I did want to marry him SOMEDAY and I understood his hang ups about it. His first wife turned out to be a user and manipulator and extremely lazy. His second wife was the opposite but was always hateful to him after they got married. I told him that I couldn't imagine spending my life as just his girlfriend and that I felt like I deserved more than that. He kind of shrugged and said "Would it make you feel better if I told you I already got a ring, but I'm just waiting until I feel the time is right?"

It sort of did and about 7 months later he proposed. We'll have been married 2 years this June.

SpnFulOfSugar
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:02 PM
Do you have kids with him?
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brwneyebeauty13
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:08 PM
Yes

Quoting SpnFulOfSugar:

Do you have kids with him?
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christina0607
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:14 PM

You've been together for 4 years...just have a serious conversation about it with him.

If the two of have to "joke" about it in order to talk about it...maybe neither of you are ready.

pamelax3
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:18 PM

My dh knew exactly where I stood, I would live with him for 6 months and if after that he was still unsure then we needed to get seperate homes and make sure that is what we wanted. We were married 1 year after that conversation

SpnFulOfSugar
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:18 PM
Then yes I would be concerned. He will commit to having children with you but will not commit to marriage. I would have a serious issue with that.


Quoting brwneyebeauty13:

Yes



Quoting SpnFulOfSugar:

Do you have kids with him?

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