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Had to call the cops on my ex to protect my child!! (Warning: it is long) MINI UPDATE

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM
  • 14 Replies

To make a long story short...here are some main points. 

 - in a non committed / non living relationship for 8 yrs 

- he took on the male figure role in my daughter's life (DD is 10) 

- we split up in Nov 2011 , but because he was her male figure i let them continue visits.

- through out the year of seperation, he was taking advantage of the visits although i did not have proof until October 2012. He was not making proper decisions, he was failing to wake up in time for her medication to be given, failing to keep adult conversations out of conversations with DD etc.

- September 2012 , i stopped all contact (due to him going off the deep end because i was worried because he sent me a text the night before telling me he was stranded an hour and a half away, and not contacting me again for another hour after that).. his friend text me and asked me to please give him one more shot, so i sat down with the friend, the ex and a friend of my choosing and we discussed the problems and what was to be done about them, at that time he was warned that if he continued with his behaviour i would again stop the visits permanently.

- The last weekend he had her , he did not give her ANY of her medication (this is not the first time he has missed her meds but the first time he did not give them to her the whole weekend), he called me on the sunday and told me that he was having a really rough time with her , i then talked to her and reminded her that even without her meds (she has ADD/ ODD/ Seperation Anxiety...she is on meds for all of them) she still had control of her actions and she had to remember that or else she would be dealing with the consequences of her actions. He hung up the phone with me and then proceeded to take her to the movie theatre, to buy her a movie (Monster High) and to buy her the pair of shoe's she had been wanting for a month! 

- That night he came to my home to drop her off , she immediatly fell asleep once i gave her , her night time meds (one being melatonin), he then proceeded to start an argument with me and got violent. Once he left my home, i then told text him and told him that he would no longer be getting her for overnights and that he needed to return any medication that he had of her's by the following tuesday.

- Tuesday , he did come by with her medication and i had made sure i had company there for this, my DD's behaviour was fine before he came over ..after he left she fought with me for two hours to get ready for bed.

- The morning after , he text her personal cell phone and it said ' if you are up for it , be good for mommy dearest'. and ' why didn't your mom let me stay to read you a story last night?" 

I was done ..i called him and told him that he blew it , and that he is to have no contact with either one of us and to move on with his life.

Since then , i have been served court papers because he is going for visitation ...however , he has already screwed himself.

There is a MIP (mandatory information program) that you NEED to attend, in that program it tells you how you are not to talk to the children about the court case.

I was doing everything in my power , for my DD not to know what was going on because i am fighting him every step of the way.

The day of our court case (Jan 15th) he told his 10 yr old nephew ..to TELL my DD that he was taking me to court that day!! 

Then he proceeded two days ago to send her a note through his nephew, which once again ...discuss's the court date in Feb.

Yesterday i went to the JP , to get a peace bond put on him...but they told me i had to make a incident report first  and that the peace bond would take 3 months!, so i called the police and made a report  and they told me they would go talk to him.

I also caught up with the nephew's father at the school and let him in on what was going on , and he had no idea that his child was being used as a messenger and assured me that he would tell his son to no longer do that and he would be having a word with my ex.

I can not believe the gull of this man!! He had his chance ..i gave him it many times ..way more than i should have!! 

But to go above and beyond to do all of this ? even when the COURTS told him NOT to talk to the child about the court case?!?!? 

Buddy screwed himself over large ..and i am just sitting here hoping that the judge see's that he is not looking out for her well being and he is only looking out for himself!

* Vent over*

* ADD: I am in Canada, anyone can take anybody to court for visitation of a child*


MINI UPDATE : CAS (CPS) called me yesterday , it is routine for them to be called when the police are called involving children , she asked me what was going on ..so i told her. I also told her that my daughter has ADD/ ODD / Seperation Anxiety and that i have done counselling with her , on top of behavioural groups ...and that she has gotten much better in the three months that i have cut off contact with this man.

The CAS worker agreed that him going through the means that he did to tell her about court was irresponsible and not thinking about her best interests!! 

She told me that she will put it in the file that she had a phone conversation with me and that she is satisfied that i am doing what i can to keep DD out of the court proceedings and conversations...and she will close the file.

It felt good to know that the CAS agreed with me...i have NEVER gotten a call from CAS regarding my child before, usually they grab on and don't let go...but the fact that it ended at a phone call ..is just giving me one more confirmation that i am doing the right thing! 

Hopefully the judge see's it the way the CAS did , and doesn't let this man near my daughter or myself!!


by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TattoodMommy19
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:51 AM
The hell?!

Why is he giving you such a hard time? And won't the courts just say "shut up and go away, you have no legal rights to the child"?
I mean he didn't adopt her or anything and isn't even married to you. So surely they don't grant him visitation?
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Two_Hearts
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting TattoodMommy19:

The hell?!

Why is he giving you such a hard time? And won't the courts just say "shut up and go away, you have no legal rights to the child"?
I mean he didn't adopt her or anything and isn't even married to you. So surely they don't grant him visitation?

I am really hoping that they don't. 

Im not going to lie , they MAY take into consideration that he was with me for 8 yrs and they may take into consideration that i allowed him to have visits with her after the seperation..

I mean , again ...he MAY have had a chance..but to go and pull what he did ..sending her notes like that ...is showing that he is really irresponsible and not looking out for her best interests at all. 

I am hoping that the judge looks at that and tells him to go to hell. 

Its been 3 months since he has seen her , she is doing SO good now...and we are finally being able to move on with our lives , i wish he would do the same.

TableforSeven
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:55 AM

The first time he didn't properly care for her...by getting her medication to her on time...would have been her last time visiting him.  This isn't her father....there is no need for him to be "caring" for a child that he doesn't take actual care of.

Two_Hearts
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:58 AM


Quoting TableforSeven:

The first time he didn't properly care for her...by getting her medication to her on time...would have been her last time visiting him.  This isn't her father....there is no need for him to be "caring" for a child that he doesn't take actual care of.

you are right , i should have stuck with the first time that i stopped contact...i was stupid , and honestly felt guilty because my DD's bio father hasn't had a thing to do with her in 6 yrs ..i didn't want to take another male figure out of her life and she had been begging to see him at that point.

Now however , she is not interested in seeing him ...she is done with the games.

ibebreezy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:06 PM

Smart girl you have there :)

Quoting Two_Hearts:


Quoting TableforSeven:

The first time he didn't properly care for her...by getting her medication to her on time...would have been her last time visiting him.  This isn't her father....there is no need for him to be "caring" for a child that he doesn't take actual care of.

you are right , i should have stuck with the first time that i stopped contact...i was stupid , and honestly felt guilty because my DD's bio father hasn't had a thing to do with her in 6 yrs ..i didn't want to take another male figure out of her life and she had been begging to see him at that point.

Now however , she is not interested in seeing him ...she is done with the games.


           

skyelyns_mommie
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:11 PM
Wow good luck is all I can say. That's messed up though thay he can do all this shit to you when he isn't the bio dad. I didn't know in Canada you could do that cause I know for a fact you can not do that in the usa
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Peanutsmom13
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Wow this guy sounds like a Douch bag, so glad to hear you are looking out for your little girl and that she has seen him for what he is doing. I understand your worry about her not having a good Male role model in her life and the ones that you trusted to be there have royaly screwed up but hold your head high, there is always a good man out there willing to do that and besides a woman can do anything a man can do. She might be better off seeing that you don't depend on a man and that you can stand on your own to feet. My husbands mom is my hero she has been married 2 or 3 times and she is one hell of a woman. She has been a single mom for about 20 years and she is a damn good one.

Two_Hearts
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:19 PM

She is starting to see me as an independant woman for sure! She is also seeing how close we have gotten since i stopped contact.

I have however found a wonderful man , that has helped us and supported us with everything going on , and he has helped me be a better mother to my daughter and do what is best for her.

She now see's a loving , caring relationship and a man that is committed to the both of us.

.

Quoting Peanutsmom13:

Wow this guy sounds like a Douch bag, so glad to hear you are looking out for your little girl and that she has seen him for what he is doing. I understand your worry about her not having a good Male role model in her life and the ones that you trusted to be there have royaly screwed up but hold your head high, there is always a good man out there willing to do that and besides a woman can do anything a man can do. She might be better off seeing that you don't depend on a man and that you can stand on your own to feet. My husbands mom is my hero she has been married 2 or 3 times and she is one hell of a woman. She has been a single mom for about 20 years and she is a damn good one.


JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:19 PM
Sounds like he's on something.
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Two_Hearts
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:20 PM


Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:

Sounds like he's on something.

weed and oxycontine...and stupidity.

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