Desperately seeking advice on 3 yr old social skills
First, Kota is a beautiful, confident, very outgoing little girl and I am a stay at home mom. Last October, I enrolled her in a ballet/ tumbling class for her to make some friends and learn to take direction before she starts prek this August.
She is very eager to befriend and play/ interact with these little girls, perhaps overeager. She has a hard time with several things in the duration of the class, including but not limited to: waiting her turn nicely, standing exclusively in her assigned spot, etc. Twice there have been little girls who told her, "I don't want to sit by you" and moved away while waiting their turn for an activity. The first time, I thought, well maybe that little girl is just a brat...but the second time has really, REALLY bothered me. I mean, it happened yesterday and I'm still having problems sleeping because of it.
Now these other little girls all have mothers who work while they attend daycare. Is this where they learn these ugly behaviors? On one hand I feel like I want to jerk her out of class away from these little "mean girls", and on the other, I feel like I need to place her in daycare to allow her to learn the social dynamic among little girls.
Kota herself has just really been unphased by these little girls' rudeness. She didn't cry, bat an eyelash or anything..it's me that's been traumatized. I'm just looking for anyone with any advice, pearls of wisdom, perspective, etc. ???
Thanks in advance! Any help at all is greatly appreciated!
From what i know of 3 yr olds. This is normal not to be instant friends and there is no filter on their mouth. They rarely do it to be mean rather they tell you the truth bluntly. You need to learn not to put adult actions/feelings on children to be less traumatized. OML kindergarten was rough for dd and her classmates since if one did not play with other it would result in a group break down of crying. We had to work and teach each child that just because they do not want to sit near them or play the same game it did not mean they are trying to hurt your feelings nor does it mean the friendship is gone.
Since it doesn't bother her, I would let it go.
My son went through something similar. It was from his cousins though (all around the same age). They would say things like they didn't want to play with him, he was "weird", etc...And, I SO wanted to tell them to be nice and play with him, LOL....but, he was NEVER bothered by it. In fact, he would come home and tell me they were his best friends.
Now, he's 4, and he's been in preschool for a couple months, and all the other kids love him. His social skills are amazing (which to be honest, shocked me because I was afraid he would always be the "weird" kid....).
So, I guess what I'm saying is this sounds like normal 3 year old behavior, and as long as it's not affecting her, there is no reason to get worked up about it.
It's fine. She sounds normal.
She will learn over time how to wait in lines and around others, exposure like this is great!
Try not to take it personally, model the behavior you expect, redirect, and expose her to what you want--
;-)
thinking it is actually better the other way around--her being in pre-k wouldve helped her in taking/following direction in the ballet/tumbling class.
Quoting JasonsMom2007:
I used to teach preschool and that is so normal for a 3 year old. Girls are the worst with the whole "I don't want to sit by you" or as they grow it becomes "you aren't my friend anymore." Drama, drama, drama!
I have a 20 year old son.
It is always drama ( high-school ), let her handle it, for as long as possible.
This is the only way she will be able to "Take care of it herself".
Sounds like normal 3 yr old behavior on all levels.Don't worry there will be plenty of time for her to get social skills down.Also do emotion charts with her that might help her to let her have an outlet it will open more communication so that you can talk , address every type of issue she may encounter.
Is it just me, or... ?
- Tiffanymmartin
on Feb. 1, 2013 at 12:17 AM