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Posted by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:54 PM
  • 6 Replies
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Just wanted to say hello. I am new at using chat rooms. I am a 36 year old mom of 4 great kids ages 17, 15, 11, and 9. I really don't have any friends in my life and I have been feeling very lonely and depressed this winter. I know God is my constant friend but sometimes I just need a physical friend that I could talk to. There's so many things that I would love to do and enjoy in my life but I am held back by depression and isolation. I am currently not involved in anything. I don't belong to a gym or any kind of group. I go to school two days a week at my community college and that's about all I do. I don't even enjoy my time at home. The daily chores of washing and cleaning and cooking have become so boring and lonely. We used to go to church every Sunday and Wednesday but currently we don't. I don't have the finances to dress 4 kids, my husband and myself to attend nor do we all fit in one vehicle to get there so we just don't go anymore. Financially we are a big mess. We are on food stamps. Our home is in pre-forclosure. Our electricity was shut off. I am so burdened and stressed and alone. My husband and I hardly talk. He doesn't understand how or why I feel the way I do so it's just easier to hardly speak. I hate to bring all this negativity to this group but I am so desperate for a friend.

-Vanessa

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:54 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Junebaby18
by Bronze Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:26 PM
I know a little of how you feel about feeling lonely and depressed. Is there any way you can get a part time job, if not for money but just to get out of the house and be with other adults? The extra money would help too.
At our church they have a van that picks people up on Sunday AM and PM AND Wednesday too. I have gone in jeans and tshirt sometimes and sometimes in a dress/skirt or even slacks. As long as its clean, I don't see why you would have to dress fancy.
Can your two older kids get part time after school jobs and contribute some of what they earn to the family? It's not their job to pay major bill, but they could help some, or even buy their own things themselves.
LuLuRex
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:28 PM

Hello and welcome :)

ilovemyson2002
by mom of 2 boys on Feb. 1, 2013 at 6:15 PM

welcome to cafemomwelcomehugsfamily carwavei have 2 boys and stay at  home mom  and dont have no friends nether

ashleighmama
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 7:01 AM
Hi and welcome! I understand how you feel about all that stuff. Im 41, married 14 yrs and its been rocky. We have 2 boys, we are broke as hell, and I was diagnosed with depression 25 yrs ago and that in itself is a daily struggle. Theres a group here on cafemom thats called depression support group, Im in there. You should check it out, its a really great group.
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LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:31 AM

Welcome! Nice to meet you!

miicklove
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:25 PM

Hi thanks for the advice. Unfortunately though it's not that easy. Actually I do babysit part time for a family but it's not that often. My 17 year old is currently trying to find work in a salon. She just got her cosmetology permit and her drivers license. She will defenitely be buying her own clothes, shoes, gas, and helping to pay her car insurance. As far as church goes, the last one we attended was pretty dressy. They all wore dress clothes. I could never go there in jeans and a t-shirt. Then there is another church in the area that we could get away with wearing whatever but the services are so boring and it just seems like a waste of time. Winter is just so long and cold and lonely. I know spring will eventually get here and I just have to hold on. Better days can't come quickly enough. On top of everything else I never mentioned that my husband can't work. He broke his back in a tractor trailer accident years ago and is still waiting on a settlement. If that ever does come maybe things will get better for us. Although I do believe the state has rights to a big chunk of it. Anyway thank you for trying to help.

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