Me and my husband have been married for almost 4 months. His previous wife died of cancer and left him with 3 wonderful kids, Myckennah is now 7, and Ryan and Conor are now 5. Myckennah was still pretty young when he mom died (probably around 3 or 4). According to my husband, she's asked a lot about her mom when she was 5 and why she didn't have a mommy like the rest of her friends, so my husband explained all of that to her. My husband and I started dating when she was 6 and she hated it! She would cry when we left her with the babysitter saying not to go. I figured it was just a separation thing but I later learned it was a lot more than just seperation problems. She continued to act like that each time we went on a date but it go worse once we explained we were getting married. She was 7 when we got married and she told her father that he had made a wrong decision and that he should still be married to her mom. She just continued to say that well after our wedding day. I even heard her say that she hates me and wishes I'd die like her mom recently. I never did anything to Myckennah that I wouldn't do to my own child. I treat all 3 of them like they are my own kids. I want to be a good step-mom and was really trying my hardest these first four months but I guess it wasn't hard enough. I ask her if she'd like to go to the mall or to a movie but she just says not with you. It really hurts me that I'm unable to build a relationship with my step-daughter and everything she's said about me really hurts.
How can I build a relationship with her or will it just take time to get used to the change and for her to realize that this is now her real life? I really want to be in Myckennah's life but I don't think she wants me in her's.
Thank you so much!