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My husband doesn't trust me, he is beyond jealous!

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 My husband doesn't trust me. He has been cheated on before and thinks I'll cheat on him if he doesn't protect me from other men? He demands to have all my passwords to everything. I can't go to the gym alone, I am not to work where there are a lot of men. ETC. I have proved myself time and time again. I can't take it anymore! I have kept things from him because I was afraid of him overreacting so I am at fault as well. Can a relationship really last without trust??

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:28 PM
Replies (11-20):
Lia678
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:50 PM

You will one day realize the extent of his control.  You wont be able to tolerate it forever.  He is supposed to be your best friend and you are not treated that way.  Don't permit this.  Every human being including yourself deserves better.  Get help, You don't have to "prove" yourself.  Please talk to someone, a counselor or your doctor.

zanderNerynMOM
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:54 PM

It is controlling however, if he does that same for you, then i dont see it as a problem. I will tell you that very rarely do I go anywhere with my husband or kids. That's just me. The same for my husband he rarely goes anywhere without me or the kids.

ashleigh24
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:57 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think it can last honestly. If your hiding things that is not good at all. You should always be open and honest with your SO. That would be the main reason my marriage failed. I fell out of love and hid it for 2 years thinking we were just having hard times. I was miserable and finally my hubby told me he could see it so I needed to stop denying it now. He moved out and I'm the happiest I've ever been. Talk to him and tell him honestly you can't handle him trying to control you. Be ready though because it could always end things but don't be like me SCARED!!! I was so scared of being alone and scared of change. I may not have someone to hold me at night but dang it I'm super happy still!! I'm becoming an independent woman and I'm losing weight and feeling great! My point (sorry for going on and on) is life is WAY too short to be miserable!! Talk it out and if you can't be happy together I promise you can be happier either alone or with someone else!! Good luck with whatever you decide.
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DragonMother10
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:57 PM
This is definitely beyond jealously, it's controlling.
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cherryblsm1
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 4:23 PM

 He is NOT willing to go to councelling at the moment. He says he trusted his ex blindly and she cheated with men under his nose! He says the reason she cheated is because he never paid attention to all the signs! And now he feels he needs to control what I do to avoid me cheating on him??!!!!!! I honestly don't see how this will work without some kind of therapy!

krise
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 4:54 PM

Forget that noise! I'd bounce so quick.

Due9
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:24 PM

He is controlling and this will drain you overtime. It is not a healthy relationship.

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:28 PM

Now that he knows the "signs" he needs to let you be your own person and show that you are not like his ex.  My guy has had ex's cheat on him and yet he doesnt keep me isolated from other men.  Not fair to you and if children are involved they will think this is how adults treat each other.

Marimaru
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:31 PM
3 moms liked this

Tell him that at this rate he isn't going to lose you because you're cheating on someone.  He's going to lose you because you refuse to have your life controlled the way he is doing.  He's supposed to be your partner, not your boss/father figure.  

Maybe start going to counseling yourself, and TELL your husband that you are doing what you can to keep your marriage together, and if he wants to help he's welcome at any time.


Quoting cherryblsm1:

 He is NOT willing to go to councelling at the moment. He says he trusted his ex blindly and she cheated with men under his nose! He says the reason she cheated is because he never paid attention to all the signs! And now he feels he needs to control what I do to avoid me cheating on him??!!!!!! I honestly don't see how this will work without some kind of therapy!


KristenFowles
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 5:35 PM

 That's control, not jealousy

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