Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

WHY can't my husband do housechores?

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:09 PM
  • 10 Replies

 Ok, so normally, I don't actually expect him to. He works outside the home and I don't, so I figure it's my responsibility to do the housechores, but once in a while he will do them to help when the baby is taking up ALL my time and energy, (although that's what she usually does), and he decides to pitch in, or when it was my birthday. So, of course, when he does, I appreciate the effort, don't get me wrong about that. Still, it'd be nice if he actually did it right when he does do it.

   When he does the laundry, he will target all HIS clothes first and usually won't bother washing more once he makes sure his is done, but he will throw other things in there that aren't his while he's at it. He mixes the lights and the darks, he makes very small loads, but leaves the setting on, "super plus", he will only use Gain, which is heavily perfumed, even if he's thrown some baby clothes in there. I've told him time and time again we only use All Free and Clear on the baby's laundry, but he doesn't care. Then, when he sorts, the sorting doesn't make sense at all. It's just random piles of things that don't belong together in the same pile.

   When he does the dishes he will load like a total of 5 things, spaced far apart and say it's full and run it, while the sink is still full of dirty dishes, he won't scrub the muck off the dishes before loading them and he puts the sharp knives pointy side up while everything else faces down. WTF?! Is he trying to kill me or what?! I've almost cut my wrist up so many times reaching for the silverware and not realizing there's a sharp knife pointing right at my vein.

  Last night I had already loaded the dishes that were dirty before dinner, but had not yet loaded the dinner dishes, because the baby was demanding all my attention as usual. Dh griped about his precious travel coffee mug not being clean. Every night he gets his coffee pot ready to go so that in the morning all he has to do is push the button, and he sets his travel coffee mug next to it, and he tends to get grumpy if his mug is not clean when he does this routine and he has to hand wash it. I told him I haven't run the dishes because the dishwasher isn't full yet and when I get the rest of the dishes clean I will run it. THere really weren't many in the sink, because like I said I did them before dinner, and dh and dd went to this Daddy daughter pizza night at the school and so ds and I just had microwave pot pies. He said he'd do the rest of the dishes, but then all he did was put his travel coffee mug in there and run it without it being full and with dishes still being in the sink. Grrr!

  I was going to title this, "Why can't men do housework?" but realized I'd probably get some replies like, "HEY! That's a sexist remark! My wonderful dh does housework all the time and does at least as good a job as I do!" so I didn't generalize, lol.

by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Gorilla_Mama
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:38 PM
I've learned to compromise my expectations of DH and ask him to do things I know he can't screw up, like take the trash out, clean the stove, put already clean dishes away, sweep, wipe up the countertops, etc.

Because otherwise he loads the dishwasher weird and stuff doesn't get clean but he puts them away anyways. He'll only do his own laundry, ask him to declutter and if its not his it goes in the garbage, trash or not. Putting away dinner means shoving uncovered pans in the fridge etc So it works for us to have him do fool proof stuff.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
loisl25
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:46 PM

 

LOL! Sounds like my man. ;P

Quoting Gorilla_Mama:

I've learned to compromise my expectations of DH and ask him to do things I know he can't screw up, like take the trash out, clean the stove, put already clean dishes away, sweep, wipe up the countertops, etc.

Because otherwise he loads the dishwasher weird and stuff doesn't get clean but he puts them away anyways. He'll only do his own laundry, ask him to declutter and if its not his it goes in the garbage, trash or not. Putting away dinner means shoving uncovered pans in the fridge etc So it works for us to have him do fool proof stuff.


 

1smartcookie
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:49 PM

Choice #1: Be very specific and tell/show him what you want hm to do. Careful...may make him say "eff it." Also, men sometimes screw up on purpose so you never ask them to do it again.

Choice #2: Suck it up and do it yourself. I bitch about my hubby and kids not loading the dishwasher, but I hate the way they do it and honestly it's just easier to do it myself.

Caitlin10081989
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:56 PM

Have your husband do household chores that he can not screw up. 

tnkrbell860
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:06 PM

OMG My Husband NEVER does things how I like them...lol it's always 'wrong' haha

A_McCool
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:10 PM

I suck at the household chores.  My husband is just happy that it gets done.  I do not separate laundry.  I just throw it in the washer on cold.  We don't have a dishwasher so I have to wash everything by hand, and I've actually gotten better at it.  I have to establish a routine and follow it exactly or I just end up staring blankly at the mess because I have no idea where to start.  When my husband is home and he wants me to help him clean something specific, he has to give me step by step instruction or I'm completely lost.  If left to my own devices, I usually do it "wrong."  It is so frustrating.

MissTacoBell
by Taco Bell Princess on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:10 PM
I only ask him to do the litter and take out the trash. Can't screw those up.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
eesmommy
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Obviously... his thumbs are broken. This happens with dhs from time to time, a swift kick to the seat of the pants helps and will cure the issue at hand for a few weeks to a few months.... repeat as needed. Unfortunately there is no cure, just the above treatment for the symptoms.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:23 PM

We have taken "wrong"out of our vocabulary for household tasks since he has his way, i have my way.  My guy tackles the kitchen usualy by cleaning up everything.  Important items whether it be dishes or clothes we will do first.  I am in charge of laundry since there is specific cllothing that does not enter our HIGH HEAT dryer at all.

iamcafemom83
by Rah-Rah on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:30 PM
I am also grateful that my dh will pitch in ow and then, but man, the way he loads the dishwasher really gets to me!!:) I never complain, though. Just glad I didn't have to do it!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)