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I am at a loss....need help with discipline for a 4 year old**update 02/08/13**

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:13 PM
  • 8 Replies

   DD is 4 years old, she is usually very well mannered and polite (we usually get compliments on her when we're out in public), well these past 2 weeks she has been a little terror.

  She won't listen at day care...or she does and then turns around and does whatever she wasn't supposed to do when she thinks nobody is looking.  She also won't mind/listen at home.

  We have taken away literally all of her toys because of her behavior and explained to her why, then had her explain to us why they were being taken away.  We have put her in the corner and have raised our voices with her (something that I'm not proud of).

  I am pregnant and due next month.  We have involved her in as much as we can with the pregnancy, she's looked at the ultrasounds, we keep on telling her that she's going to be such a good big sister.  We're having to move her into a bigger room and she's helping decorate it, she's helping with the nursery as well.  So I don't think that she feel left out.  I just am at a loss as to what to do......HELP!

 

**Update**

  I have decided that she is going to start with a clean slate.  We had a talk this morning and I reassured her that I love her very much, she'll always be my baby no matter how old she gets, and that when new people come into our lives that our hearts just get bigger and bigger, that way everyone gets loved.  She was her old self this morning, it was a very nice change.  Thanks for the advice mommas! 

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:13 PM
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Replies (1-8):
christina0607
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah kids do that. They test bounderies. This won't be the last time in her life either.

Just stay consistent with punishment and she'll eventually move on to another...probably more annoying ...phase.
mna_823
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:26 PM

 

Quoting christina0607:

Yeah kids do that. They test bounderies. This won't be the last time in her life either.

Just stay consistent with punishment and she'll eventually move on to another...probably more annoying ...phase.

 thanks....i think, lol.

weirdkids
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:40 PM
1 mom liked this

its baby crunch time. i went through it with my older ones at the end of my pregnancy for my son. they didnt feel left out or anything in preperations and even after he was born with helping with baby. they were great. excited, supportive, helpful through the whole pregnancy.... right up until the end. when it because crunch time, the stress got to them and it showed lol not listening, getting in trouble at school the whole 9 yards. it was bad. it started to settle down after their brother was born. then it was all about holding him, feeding him, helping with everything. just hang in there mama, include her in everything right down to dirty diapers. itll get better.

mna_823
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:43 PM

 

Quoting weirdkids:

its baby crunch time. i went through it with my older ones at the end of my pregnancy for my son. they didnt feel left out or anything in preperations and even after he was born with helping with baby. they were great. excited, supportive, helpful through the whole pregnancy.... right up until the end. when it because crunch time, the stress got to them and it showed lol not listening, getting in trouble at school the whole 9 yards. it was bad. it started to settle down after their brother was born. then it was all about holding him, feeding him, helping with everything. just hang in there mama, include her in everything right down to dirty diapers. itll get better.

 thanks.  I hope that it works like that with us too.

weirdkids
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 7:19 PM


my daughter was 6 at the time and i couldnt get her to leave him alone. it was like she was a little mommy. kinda twitched the first time i caught her walking around with him but she was so careful lol she even got up with him one night. changed him, made a bottle, fed him.... all so he wouldnt wake up me or her daddy. lol she would sleep on the floor next to his bed on the weekends so she could take care of him lol now hes 2 and the novelty has worn off lol now its my ss and nephew have taken over that job lol 

Quoting mna_823: 

 

Quoting weirdkids:

its baby crunch time. i went through it with my older ones at the end of my pregnancy for my son. they didnt feel left out or anything in preperations and even after he was born with helping with baby. they were great. excited, supportive, helpful through the whole pregnancy.... right up until the end. when it because crunch time, the stress got to them and it showed lol not listening, getting in trouble at school the whole 9 yards. it was bad. it started to settle down after their brother was born. then it was all about holding him, feeding him, helping with everything. just hang in there mama, include her in everything right down to dirty diapers. itll get better.

 thanks.  I hope that it works like that with us too.



GaleJ
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Your little girl doesn't need discipline of any kind, she needs loving reassurance, AND LOTS OF IT! You are "preparing" her for this huge upheaval in her life, new sibling, new room, new position in family, but what she probably needs is reassurance that not everything she knows and is used to is going to change. Everything you are focusing on is because of the baby and she may well not understand how she fits in this new dynamic. It might be a good idea to pull back a bit and try to figure out where you can try to put a little emphasis on what will remain the same. Perhaps make plans for something that she has enjoyed before; a special holiday tradition, an outing, some activity she enjoys like dance or swimming lessons. Make sure that you commit to some special one-on-one time with her and make sure you keep that commitment no matter what.

Try to imagine how you would feel if your husband was introducing a new wife and just kept telling you how your life was going to change. While that may seem silly and not at all the same it can provide some insight into what she may be feeling and the conflicts she may be having because she is upset by what you are telling her is wonderful and exciting.

Nerys-Kianna
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:11 AM

I was standing in front of the same dilemma 5 month ago, close to my due date. My boys were 6 and 4 1/2 years. They felt displaced, scared, that I wouldn't love them anymore. That they are not important to me anymore and only the baby will my priority. We went out together and bought the baby essentials together since I hadn't anything anymore cuz I gave everything away after DS2, each of them has choosen an onesie for their soon to be arriving brother, but still they felt the same. I spend the last few days with doing fun things after I picked up my oldest from school. It was the first school week. Friday morning, I told him, that maybe his Papa is gonna pick him up from school cuz Mama might not be home. I went in for a check up that day and never left. The boys came with their papa 6 mins after DS3 was born. My youngest was adjusted faster to his baby brother, he wanted to see him as soon as he came into the room, my oldest is now slowly getting more comfy with him. He'll now hold him, read to him and play with him. He remembers what a big help he was as DS2 joined us.
It will take tons of time, reassurance and love to get her on track and not punishment.

mna_823
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:20 AM

thanks ladies. I have been on mommy-daughter dates and done special things. I let her know that she'll always be our princess. I just wish that the acting out would chill a little. 

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