Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Child abuse issue with a friend.. need advice but please don't bash

Posted by   + Show Post

An old friend of mine that I've known for years (since 2004 when her oldest twins were born) has had a lot of issues with cps ranging from abuse, to neglect, and child endagerment. Everytime everything was unfounded.

Recently her eldest of the twins went to his teacher and confessed to her the "abuse" he was getting from his mother and his 2 brothers were dealing with. They were able to verify this was true due to a couple bruises but it was undetermined where the bruises actually came from since he knees were skinned up. So cps was at her door once again following up and doing their investigation. My friend got fed up with it and told them they could only contact her via email and than later took it back and said they could only talk to her lawyer. Somehow or another she threatened to put her children in military school and it was obviously an empty threat - she can barely afford to buy their medications let alone put them in anything other than public schools.

So from what I've been told, they decided to proceed with child abuse charges and she went into court and was told of her plea bargin deal which is pleading guilty to 1 account of child abuse and the other 2 would be dropped. She would have supervised visitation, a fine, and now a criminal record which she's never had.

Well my friend said she wanted to take it to trial as she did not feel this was a fair deal and started asking me to be a character witness. Now before I can say yes or no to this, I understand I could get a subpeana either way but I'm on the fence about it because I refuse to lie on the stand so it wouldn't really help her and once I say no, it's almost a guarantee the prosecution will ask and if i still say no, that's where the subpeana could come into play.

I'm soo on the fence about this as she is a friend but her children do not deserve the hell she's put them thru. So I'm just asking what would you do? Stand up for the defense or the prosecution and know either way, it won't help my friend?


Follow me over to my group for Neonates, Baby think it over, realcare, and reborn! Collectors welcomed! Click the Pic!

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Replies (21-30):
Mrskingman
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Oh good grief, you think I care about the friendship? No! I stayed because I wanted to ensure those kids were safe. Maybe I failed at that but I tried and my contact with her did not mean I wanted to be her friend, it meant I tried being an extra set of eyes so when shit finally hit the fan,I could help.

Quoting Due9:

Friend or no friend, child abuse is NOT okay. I would have to tell the truth. If you've seen her abuse the kids, be honest and tell them. I could never continue a friendship with someone who abused children anyway.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
JasonsMom2007
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:34 AM
Just tell the truth
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
breydans_mommy
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Tell the truth. Those kids deserve better.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mrskingman
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:36 AM
Please read. This isn't about the truth, it will be said. It's which side does the same truth get told

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Just tell the truth
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Due9
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:39 AM

Well that's good that you wanted to be extra eyes. There should be no question then about whether or not to stick up for her or tell the truth.

Quoting Mrskingman:

Oh good grief, you think I care about the friendship? No! I stayed because I wanted to ensure those kids were safe. Maybe I failed at that but I tried and my contact with her did not mean I wanted to be her friend, it meant I tried being an extra set of eyes so when shit finally hit the fan,I could help.

Quoting Due9:

Friend or no friend, child abuse is NOT okay. I would have to tell the truth. If you've seen her abuse the kids, be honest and tell them. I could never continue a friendship with someone who abused children anyway.


juggling

JasonsMom2007
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:39 AM
1 mom liked this
It doesn't really matter which side. Tell your friend you will tell the truth and she may not like what you have to say. If you get a subpoena go from there.


Quoting Mrskingman:

Please read. This isn't about the truth, it will be said. It's which side does the same truth get told



Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Just tell the truth

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
beethann
by Beth Ann on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:41 AM


Quoting Mrskingman:

Please read. This isn't about the truth, it will be said. It's which side does the same truth get told

Quoting JasonsMom2007:

Just tell the truth

I don't think it matters what side the truth comes from. Obviously it will look a little better if you are on "her" side per se. But either way, as you stated, she is not in a good situation. Either way, the truth will come out. In the end it won't matter what side you are on.

daughteroftruth
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:44 AM

Your friend is an adult and has brought this on themselves.  Her children are unable to defend themselves.  Look at your own kid, and picture her putting YOUR kids through the crap she put hers.... tell me now what you think you should do?

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:46 AM
If you are truly standing up for the children, it doesn't matter what "side" you are on...tell the truth to the questions you are asked. Your friend's lawyer will ask you questions to make her look good, the other side will not. Tell the truth.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrsjksimmons
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:17 PM

After reading through all the replies, I would say go for the prosecution. Either way it makes her look like a crappy mom BUT I personally would testify for the prosecution. Why? Because I know that the prosecution is trying to do what's right for those kids. Just like you.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)