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Child abuse issue with a friend.. need advice but please don't bash

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An old friend of mine that I've known for years (since 2004 when her oldest twins were born) has had a lot of issues with cps ranging from abuse, to neglect, and child endagerment. Everytime everything was unfounded.

Recently her eldest of the twins went to his teacher and confessed to her the "abuse" he was getting from his mother and his 2 brothers were dealing with. They were able to verify this was true due to a couple bruises but it was undetermined where the bruises actually came from since he knees were skinned up. So cps was at her door once again following up and doing their investigation. My friend got fed up with it and told them they could only contact her via email and than later took it back and said they could only talk to her lawyer. Somehow or another she threatened to put her children in military school and it was obviously an empty threat - she can barely afford to buy their medications let alone put them in anything other than public schools.

So from what I've been told, they decided to proceed with child abuse charges and she went into court and was told of her plea bargin deal which is pleading guilty to 1 account of child abuse and the other 2 would be dropped. She would have supervised visitation, a fine, and now a criminal record which she's never had.

Well my friend said she wanted to take it to trial as she did not feel this was a fair deal and started asking me to be a character witness. Now before I can say yes or no to this, I understand I could get a subpeana either way but I'm on the fence about it because I refuse to lie on the stand so it wouldn't really help her and once I say no, it's almost a guarantee the prosecution will ask and if i still say no, that's where the subpeana could come into play.

I'm soo on the fence about this as she is a friend but her children do not deserve the hell she's put them thru. So I'm just asking what would you do? Stand up for the defense or the prosecution and know either way, it won't help my friend?

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by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Lisa on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:24 PM

Quoting TexanMomOf6:

I would tell the truth. Let the judge decide what to do with the facts.

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by Taco Bell Princess on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:33 PM
If you're going to get subpoena'd anyway don't worry you don't have a choice. Though why do you need a court order to stand up for those kids? Anyway, don't lie...ever. Perjury no bueno.
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by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:50 PM

Do NOT lie to protect her, friend or not. The kids come first

by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 5:45 PM
Encourage your friend to take a plea deal. She isn't getting out of this. If you testify she is screwed.
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 5:52 PM

 Do what you think in your heart is right... If you know those kids are not being treated right, you need to stand up for them. If you know your friend is innocent, then stand by her side.

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 5:55 PM

The stand that helps those kids.

by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 Sounds  me like you just answered your own question.

You could just openly tell her, that you're more than happy to help but you're NOT going to lie on the stand, and that you've seen things you're not going to lie about.

Does she know you called CPS on her? If so, then that only adds points to your side. If you've called CPS on her before...honestly sounds like you've answered your own question.

A subpoena is a subpoena, doesn't matter which side hands you one, either way, tell the truth. JMO

Quoting Mrskingman:

 Something I haven't been doing all along? I've called cps on her before, I've taken her kids in for extended amounts of time. I believe I've been doing it all along. My question is more about which stand do I take knowing either way, it's not going to be good for her

Quoting singlemom1208:

Do what you think in your heart is the right thing for those kids. Something you haven't been doing all along.



by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:54 PM

I would make sure she knows you will not lie on the stand. Sounds like she does not deserve to be a mother.

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:58 PM
i have been through this! almost the exact same thing. i told the truth. the kids need protecting. period. my "friend" had two of her 6 kids taken
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by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 6:28 AM

it is not whether you are siding with the prosecuter or your friend you are standing up for the children. they deserve to live life without being afraid that something might spark off their mom. I think your friend needs to get help so that she may live happily with her children

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