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how do you help a scared child?

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:32 PM
  • 11 Replies
My son got back from his dads today. I told him to go straighten his room before bed, so he goes in there, then comes running out screaming and crying scared to death! I ask him what's wrong he told me he heard a nose and it sounded like a zombie, he latched onto me so tight as he was telling me this. :-( he was shaking and crying...

I call his Dad too see what happened over there and yup, they watched a scary movie. I'm so upset because her knows how scared her gets over little things. He was terrified of the dark for the longest time because his Dad snuck up in him in the dark and scared him..

His Dad has already heard an earful. But now i have to figure out how to show him that there's nothing to be afraid of. I've searched the house with him, left all the lights on, checked the closets... Now he is just terrified of his room. I can't get him in there to sleep. He's in my bed now.

Any advice??
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by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dee1603
by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Night light and go into his room and "scare away" all the monsters. Tell him monsters are scared of mommies.
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mcclainprincess
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 10:34 PM
Good idea. Mommy can be pretty scary. Lol


Quoting dee1603:

Night light and go into his room and "scare away" all the monsters. Tell him monsters are scared of mommies.

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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:00 PM
2 moms liked this

Zombie spray.. a few drops of an essential oil in a spray bottle of water.  It is off the chain of monster sprays.  Usually lavender will scare away monsters but do not know how zombies react to it.

NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 6:29 AM
How old is your son? I suggest you teach him not to watch scary movies. Unless its abuse and you are going to file a motion with the courts i don't think what goes on in dads house is your business. I know its hard to watch your child be scared and its ok to mention the next time you talk that there were issues but to give him an earful? Dads house, dads rules. Your house your rules- other than abuse neither of you needs to worry about what the other is doing.
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mcclainprincess
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:21 AM
He's six. And I'm pretty sure anything that goes on with him is my business. Its not abuse, its just stupidity on his part and he wound up apologizing for it.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

How old is your son? I suggest you teach him not to watch scary movies. Unless its abuse and you are going to file a motion with the courts i don't think what goes on in dads house is your business. I know its hard to watch your child be scared and its ok to mention the next time you talk that there were issues but to give him an earful? Dads house, dads rules. Your house your rules- other than abuse neither of you needs to worry about what the other is doing.

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NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:53 PM

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to learn to not watch certain shows, no matter who is showing them? My 10 year old has known for years to not watch harry potter, it gives her nightmares.  She knows to go in another room or ask for a different movie.  I love harry potter and I occasionally watch it.  She just goes elsewhere.

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to have 2 parents who let each other be parents as they see fit?  Honestly not everything is your business.  Just as it is not my business that my husband keeps the kids up later than I think he should.  Just as it is not my husbands business that I let my kids eat non breakfast food for breakfast.  (im ok with leftover pizza for teenagers and my husband would rather they eat cereal).  When I am home and observing they eat pizza, when he is monitoring breakfast its cereal.  Even with 2 parents that share the same house and are very in love we need to respect that the other parent may have slightly different rules.  It will not hurt my kids long term to stay up late and they will just have the consequence of being tired the next day.  It will not hurt them to eat pizza for breakfast.   It will not hurt your son to be scared of zombies.  None of these things are abusive.  Maybe my husband will see the kids dont perform well when they are tired, or I will see the same when breakfast is too fatty.  We may decide the other parent has a better way and copy it. (though our oldest goes off to college in the fall so I wouldnt hold your breath.)  Maybe your x will see that his beloved son is scared and decide to get a different movie when he is around.  Maybe not.  In the long run what matters most to your son is good times with dad, and having mom step back from that.  

Quoting mcclainprincess:

He's six. And I'm pretty sure anything that goes on with him is my business. Its not abuse, its just stupidity on his part and he wound up apologizing for it.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

How old is your son? I suggest you teach him not to watch scary movies. Unless its abuse and you are going to file a motion with the courts i don't think what goes on in dads house is your business. I know its hard to watch your child be scared and its ok to mention the next time you talk that there were issues but to give him an earful? Dads house, dads rules. Your house your rules- other than abuse neither of you needs to worry about what the other is doing.


pamelax3
by Silver Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:08 PM
I would make up some zombie spray and spray his room with him when he is ready for bed
mcclainprincess
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:42 PM
So basically its ok that his father allow him to watch some things that scare him, then when he gets back to me i have to fix it?

Because that's basically what's happened.. He has him maybe five days out of the month. This post want meant to question the exs parenting style,.but you brought up how wrong it was for me to give him an earful. I don't feel i was in the wrong at all unless he wants to come over and calm him down every night.

Regardless of whether he's old enough to know not to watch specific shows, he's still a six yr old little boy whos Adult father should have known better.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to learn to not watch certain shows, no matter who is showing them? My 10 year old has known for years to not watch harry potter, it gives her nightmares.  She knows to go in another room or ask for a different movie.  I love harry potter and I occasionally watch it.  She just goes elsewhere.

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to have 2 parents who let each other be parents as they see fit?  Honestly not everything is your business.  Just as it is not my business that my husband keeps the kids up later than I think he should.  Just as it is not my husbands business that I let my kids eat non breakfast food for breakfast.  (im ok with leftover pizza for teenagers and my husband would rather they eat cereal).  When I am home and observing they eat pizza, when he is monitoring breakfast its cereal.  Even with 2 parents that share the same house and are very in love we need to respect that the other parent may have slightly different rules.  It will not hurt my kids long term to stay up late and they will just have the consequence of being tired the next day.  It will not hurt them to eat pizza for breakfast.   It will not hurt your son to be scared of zombies.  None of these things are abusive.  Maybe my husband will see the kids dont perform well when they are tired, or I will see the same when breakfast is too fatty.  We may decide the other parent has a better way and copy it. (though our oldest goes off to college in the fall so I wouldnt hold your breath.)  Maybe your x will see that his beloved son is scared and decide to get a different movie when he is around.  Maybe not.  In the long run what matters most to your son is good times with dad, and having mom step back from that.  

Quoting mcclainprincess:

He's six. And I'm pretty sure anything that goes on with him is my business. Its not abuse, its just stupidity on his part and he wound up apologizing for it.





Quoting NDADanceMom:

How old is your son? I suggest you teach him not to watch scary movies. Unless its abuse and you are going to file a motion with the courts i don't think what goes on in dads house is your business. I know its hard to watch your child be scared and its ok to mention the next time you talk that there were issues but to give him an earful? Dads house, dads rules. Your house your rules- other than abuse neither of you needs to worry about what the other is doing.




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yezay
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:51 PM
Don't let this person get to you. It's obv you're just lookin for how to fix what's already been done. I Suggest the spay also because it gives him control. You're doing the right thing and dads being inconsiderate!! I would take this opportunity to teach your son that he doesn't have to watch scary things if he doesn't want to and have him speak up go dad.

Quoting mcclainprincess:

So basically its ok that his father allow him to watch some things that scare him, then when he gets back to me i have to fix it?



Because that's basically what's happened.. He has him maybe five days out of the month. This post want meant to question the exs parenting style,.but you brought up how wrong it was for me to give him an earful. I don't feel i was in the wrong at all unless he wants to come over and calm him down every night.



Regardless of whether he's old enough to know not to watch specific shows, he's still a six yr old little boy whos Adult father should have known better.




Quoting NDADanceMom:

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to learn to not watch certain shows, no matter who is showing them? My 10 year old has known for years to not watch harry potter, it gives her nightmares.  She knows to go in another room or ask for a different movie.  I love harry potter and I occasionally watch it.  She just goes elsewhere.

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to have 2 parents who let each other be parents as they see fit?  Honestly not everything is your business.  Just as it is not my business that my husband keeps the kids up later than I think he should.  Just as it is not my husbands business that I let my kids eat non breakfast food for breakfast.  (im ok with leftover pizza for teenagers and my husband would rather they eat cereal).  When I am home and observing they eat pizza, when he is monitoring breakfast its cereal.  Even with 2 parents that share the same house and are very in love we need to respect that the other parent may have slightly different rules.  It will not hurt my kids long term to stay up late and they will just have the consequence of being tired the next day.  It will not hurt them to eat pizza for breakfast.   It will not hurt your son to be scared of zombies.  None of these things are abusive.  Maybe my husband will see the kids dont perform well when they are tired, or I will see the same when breakfast is too fatty.  We may decide the other parent has a better way and copy it. (though our oldest goes off to college in the fall so I wouldnt hold your breath.)  Maybe your x will see that his beloved son is scared and decide to get a different movie when he is around.  Maybe not.  In the long run what matters most to your son is good times with dad, and having mom step back from that.  

Quoting mcclainprincess:

He's six. And I'm pretty sure anything that goes on with him is my business. Its not abuse, its just stupidity on his part and he wound up apologizing for it.








Quoting NDADanceMom:

How old is your son? I suggest you teach him not to watch scary movies. Unless its abuse and you are going to file a motion with the courts i don't think what goes on in dads house is your business. I know its hard to watch your child be scared and its ok to mention the next time you talk that there were issues but to give him an earful? Dads house, dads rules. Your house your rules- other than abuse neither of you needs to worry about what the other is doing.





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mcclainprincess
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Thank you! The spray is a good idea. I will take him out today after work to make some. Lol. Hopefully it helps!


Quoting yezay:

Don't let this person get to you. It's obv you're just lookin for how to fix what's already been done. I Suggest the spay also because it gives him control. You're doing the right thing and dads being inconsiderate!! I would take this opportunity to teach your son that he doesn't have to watch scary things if he doesn't want to and have him speak up go dad.



Quoting mcclainprincess:

So basically its ok that his father allow him to watch some things that scare him, then when he gets back to me i have to fix it?





Because that's basically what's happened.. He has him maybe five days out of the month. This post want meant to question the exs parenting style,.but you brought up how wrong it was for me to give him an earful. I don't feel i was in the wrong at all unless he wants to come over and calm him down every night.





Regardless of whether he's old enough to know not to watch specific shows, he's still a six yr old little boy whos Adult father should have known better.






Quoting NDADanceMom:

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to learn to not watch certain shows, no matter who is showing them? My 10 year old has known for years to not watch harry potter, it gives her nightmares.  She knows to go in another room or ask for a different movie.  I love harry potter and I occasionally watch it.  She just goes elsewhere.

Long term how will it affect your 6 year old to have 2 parents who let each other be parents as they see fit?  Honestly not everything is your business.  Just as it is not my business that my husband keeps the kids up later than I think he should.  Just as it is not my husbands business that I let my kids eat non breakfast food for breakfast.  (im ok with leftover pizza for teenagers and my husband would rather they eat cereal).  When I am home and observing they eat pizza, when he is monitoring breakfast its cereal.  Even with 2 parents that share the same house and are very in love we need to respect that the other parent may have slightly different rules.  It will not hurt my kids long term to stay up late and they will just have the consequence of being tired the next day.  It will not hurt them to eat pizza for breakfast.   It will not hurt your son to be scared of zombies.  None of these things are abusive.  Maybe my husband will see the kids dont perform well when they are tired, or I will see the same when breakfast is too fatty.  We may decide the other parent has a better way and copy it. (though our oldest goes off to college in the fall so I wouldnt hold your breath.)  Maybe your x will see that his beloved son is scared and decide to get a different movie when he is around.  Maybe not.  In the long run what matters most to your son is good times with dad, and having mom step back from that.  

Quoting mcclainprincess:

He's six. And I'm pretty sure anything that goes on with him is my business. Its not abuse, its just stupidity on his part and he wound up apologizing for it.











Quoting NDADanceMom:

How old is your son? I suggest you teach him not to watch scary movies. Unless its abuse and you are going to file a motion with the courts i don't think what goes on in dads house is your business. I know its hard to watch your child be scared and its ok to mention the next time you talk that there were issues but to give him an earful? Dads house, dads rules. Your house your rules- other than abuse neither of you needs to worry about what the other is doing.







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