What do you do when you and DH have different feelings on important things?
My brother has a gf and their morals and values are different than mine and DHs. I have limited my and my children's time with them because I don't want them to have a huge influence on the kids. My DH hardly sees them because he just really can't stand especially the gf. He sees them just on holidays. They live with my parents so I see them a little more often but they all just moved a bit further away so I tend to meet my parents out or they come to my kids' events.
Anyway, the gf just had a baby very very early. He is in the nicu at a hospital fairly close to us. The gf is staying with him, my brother has been there but has to go back to work.
I understand DH not wanting me to visit too often (he has not said a negative word about me visiting, I just know him) and to not get too attached to the baby or build too close of a bond with the mom.
I feel like visiting a couple times a week and bringing something when I do is the right thing to do for family despite our differences (there is really a ton of history, I have had so many people ask why I even talk to my family after what they put me through...I have a lot of reasons and I can share any of that if anyone wants to know more).
I want to stand up for what I feel is right but at the same time I don't want DH to change his opinion of me. He has thought every time I rebuild a relationship with my family they have done more to hurt me, it's very true and every time I think it will be different. But I feel like I need to try, I need to see this baby while he is growing. I may not be a huge part of his life after he leaves the hospital but I could at least say I was there when I could be.
Any advice? What would you do? Please take into consideration that DH doesn't really want me around them bc it's very hard for him to see me hurt over and over again. And he is always there for me when things fall apart.