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My Son has no friends. Birthday situation.

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:08 PM
  • 78 Replies
1 mom liked this

He will be turning 6. His birthday is the 20th, we are having a party on the 23rd, BUT he has no friends. We don't know who to invite, he wants a party at the bowling alley which to me says a small group of friends, but no one in his class talks to him, they don't exclude him , but they don't really interact with him either. I asked his teacher and she said virtually the same thing, so I thought OH OH church we can invite people from church, but we run into the same issue, you see my son is Autistic. So he doesn't really know that he is lacking in friends to him this is perfectly normal. So I am at a loss for what to do on his birthday, I can't send invites to everyone and hope some show, what if others take pity on him and everyone shows up, or what if no one does??? The bowling is 14 dollars per person, I think that includes shoes... but I am not too sure what it all includes and just seems so harsh. We usually go to the park, but the thing is the weather, so not really sure what to do. It's gonna be cold and it would have rained the day before.. I think just going to chuck e cheese with who ever and doing that would be nice, how much should I spend on tokens for the other kids???


He is high functioning Autistic, but I just thought of something else.. he doesn't do really well in crowds with loud noises... he isn't rocking or anything extreme, but just not sure if he would really enjoy a Saturday at Chuck E Cheese. He has only gone on really slow days, he did well then, but they kinda turned down the volume on some of the games, and the flashing lights, they kinda have this Autistic awareness thing. 


Also something small with just the family isn't really a thing I want to do. My parents are rather ill so they tend to not go, or leave very early. It is also kind of a down when they complain the whole time they are out. So that isn't going to happen. It would be me his sister and his dad, and that doesn't seem like a celebration. 

A few people have mentioned meeting some of the parents of the kids in the classroom. There is no possible way to do this, to pick kids up there is a drive through line, you aren't allowed out of the car and most of them do not speak English, I know this as the PTO meetings take ages as they glare at the small section that is English speaking as they wish it was only in spanish, and frankly I get them cause the meetings would be over much fast if they only had to do one language. 

Update: So today when picking up son's meds in Walgreen's this little boy was like OH Hi Alexander, and I got talking to the mom about his party. They call him Alexander at school. If just for anyone who wonders cause I refer to him as Leith. Anyways I invited her, and am gonna send invites to school regardless, we are gonna hope this works. Have a party at the park with kinda of a make your own bowling, with a basket ball and soda bottles type of thing, then announce we would be doing bowling after if anyone wants to attend it would be a pay your own way type of thing. 


Update: So so is set on having a party in the park, the person from Walgreens backed out, and the invites we sent to his class no one responded to. Not sure a single person will come and tomorrow is the big day. While I sit here trying not to cry I don't know what to do. I can't force people to come.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
crwspringer
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:12 PM
For now, why not just do a bowling party with family? The last thing you would want is for the "wrong" kid to come and ruin his party.
I would keep it family, maybe your friends and their kids.
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RLSMOM59
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:13 PM
2 moms liked this

Just invite the boys from school. Who would pass up cake and bowling. Also this would be a good time for him to bond with his classmates. Maybe not all of them but maybe he will be able to foster a relationship with one. You can help by doing playdates with a couple of them, overnights/late nights. GL with the party.

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I would just invite the class and see who shows up.  Have an RSVP though so hopefully people will call so you have a head count.

RLSMOM59
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:17 PM

What about indoor golf, movies/game night at your house, a sporting event where they boys go behind the scences or have special seating with his name on the big board. Maybe a night at the museum. You have to think outside the box. Or just ask him wht he wants to do.

Punkslilncs
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:19 PM


That would total 23 boys in his class.. paying 12 dollars a piece for them, then adding cake and shoe rental on top of that.. and my family which has 8 members including my parents and my sister and her SO  and then the famlies of the 23 boys.. bowling really isn't an option even though that is what my son wants. 

Quoting RLSMOM59:

Just invite the boys from school. Who would pass up cake and bowling. Also this would be a good time for him to bond with his classmates. Maybe not all of them but maybe he will be able to foster a relationship with one. You can help by doing playdates with a couple of them, overnights/late nights. GL with the party.



itsm3
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:19 PM

why not just keep it intimate and close family only?  you can still have lots of fun with family,.

FooLynRoo
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:19 PM
4 moms liked this

Go up to a few select parents and ask them, Tell them about your son, and how their kid is in his class, and ask if he or she would like to come to his party, despite not being really close, but you would appreciate an opportunity to socialize your son for his birthday.


Punkslilncs
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:21 PM


My elderly parents live with us, can't have anything here cause their medical equipment. Also the nurses that are in and out for them. 

Quoting RLSMOM59:

What about indoor golf, movies/game night at your house, a sporting event where they boys go behind the scences or have special seating with his name on the big board. Maybe a night at the museum. You have to think outside the box. Or just ask him wht he wants to do.



coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:24 PM
Maybe ask the teacher to suggest some of the kids who seem more sympathetic toward him and invite them. We had a bowling party for DD and only paid for those who came (which was 1 less than RSVPd). Or just do family. If it's what he asked for, he should have it.

Quoting Punkslilncs:


That would total 23 boys in his class.. paying 12 dollars a piece for them, then adding cake and shoe rental on top of that.. and my family which has 8 members including my parents and my sister and her SO  and then the famlies of the 23 boys.. bowling really isn't an option even though that is what my son wants. 


Quoting RLSMOM59:

Just invite the boys from school. Who would pass up cake and bowling. Also this would be a good time for him to bond with his classmates. Maybe not all of them but maybe he will be able to foster a relationship with one. You can help by doing playdates with a couple of them, overnights/late nights. GL with the party.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
RLSMOM59
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:25 PM

I don't know where you live but do you know of anyone with a timeshare you can use? They normally have a game room, can do do pizza, some have a movie theater on property and show kids movies. I know where I am I can use ours at a discounted price. I actually did that and the girls had a blast!


Quoting Punkslilncs:


My elderly parents live with us, can't have anything here cause their medical equipment. Also the nurses that are in and out for them. 

Quoting RLSMOM59:

What about indoor golf, movies/game night at your house, a sporting event where they boys go behind the scences or have special seating with his name on the big board. Maybe a night at the museum. You have to think outside the box. Or just ask him wht he wants to do.





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