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Was I in the wrong?!! **Very long

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:11 PM
  • 13 Replies

 

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Question: Do you think I was rude?

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Yes! You were absolutely horrible!!

No, you were standing up for yourself

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Ok so me, my dh, and dd's moved in to my father-in-laws second house. From the start we had problems with my mother-in-law, but I help my tongue. We then got to the point where we decided enough is enough so we are moving in 2 weeks. We told my dh's father yesterday. He was sad, but he knew it was going to happen when we had the money together.(Mother-in-law left for mo today to visit her family) Well he let mother-in-law know what was going on so she starts texting us...we text back and fourth an it went like this:

Her: Dh father (XXXX) will be coming in to inspect over the weekendin case he needs any help with the repairs. Have everything off the walls, etc. Since u are acting like this it would b nice if you were out before I get back

Me:What are we doing? We have said we are leaving the first part of march a few times. It seems we have benn misheard a couple times. It isnt something against u all. You said many times the sooner the better because it would be easier on everyone.

Her: Noooo it was always end of march early april you guys cant remember your stories. Don't get me wrong im glad and do want u gone before I get back if u are blasting out for no good reason better for me and cm (her 16yr old dd) if u are gone before we get back. Thats what she wants anyways. Of course this is against us you aren't hurting anyone else but us and your kids. ** We have always said early march because she gave us an out date of April 1st... her daughter caused a ton of problems and lied about a lot of things. She is mad at my dh for telling their dad somethings because we worried about her**

Me: U know I have seriously about had it. I can't take this sh*t anymore. I understand your hurt and pissed off, but I have been friendly, nice, and did many things you have asked of us all while being pissed off and hurt. (whether u think I should be are not) Dh has even been in counseling for a few weeks. I have nothing but respect for u guys until just recently. You took on another family of four and helped us out immensley. I thank u guys from the bottom of my heart, but we are stressed without even  taking into account all the friction here. ** She says dh needed counseling. **She is the first and ONLY person who has ever said this. The counselor is very understanding and does not think he should be in there. We just did it for her.

Her: Sorry for that glad he is getting counseling.You brought the stress on yourselves. You have no reason to disrespect us. We have done all you have said and more. You've had it...join the club.Just do what you've commited to and be read for (XXXX) to go over the house (that is just needed. Not "against" you.) I will meet u at the vehicle at 10:30 that will be the end of your personal obligation to me. We would like to see the girls when possible. That is all I have to say. I will cancel the phones after the march bill. As i have said I am sorry how this all went. I wish u well for the sake of the girls.

Her again: PS- Why dont u just get it off your chest why you are so pissed off and hurt. What have we done to u? Yes, I have kind of lost it when dealing with (my dhs) inability to get along then the decision tomove, after all we been through and done for you. I can only assume u all knew there was never gonna be a time when u guys could live with others. I have never asked anything that normal people wouldn't already do.

Me:As far as living with someone. I have lived with people no problem. Dh has lived with many people through the years and didnt have a problem. You want to know what bothers methe fact that u have been rude many times and I have had to hold my tongue (out of respect) and in return u talk to us with no consideration of how we feel or what we think just plain ignorant ( no kind of respect). I have people that keep telling me we went into this not knowing u guys and u not really knowing us. We have come to learn that that is true. U guys have no idea what type of people we are. Which is my fault because I have never felt completely comfortable around u guys.Look, I'm not wanting to continuearguing over silly stuff anymore. It is fine that (XXXX) is coming into the house that is no big deal. See u in the morning.

Her: You guys have to earn respect. It is not a given. You guys are basically decent people but extremely immature. I feel sorry for all you've gone through in your life.U have done your best. Someday u will understand what things are likewhen u have to really fend for yourself and be actual adults. See u tomorrow.

Her Again: Give examples of when I have been rude and or "ignorant". Only when speaking English wasnt being understood.

ME:U know u have been rude. You get pissed and dont give a crap what u say. Like I said im done arguing with u. Im not doing it anymore. No matter what is said your not going to change your thoughts u will continue to question anything we say. Also just to be clear I am not saying u have been rude everytime I talked to u either. There has been many times u were very friendly.

This was the end of our conversation. I drove her to the airport today and she was very friendly and respectful. Her dh came over here today and said he was very mad at his wfe last night once she told him the conversation. He said he will not bad mouth his wife (Completely understandable!!) but she was completely out of line. Sorry this is so long. What are your opinions? Do you ladies think I was very rude? This has been a long time coming. This is the first time I have ever gone against her. Even my dh's counselor said it would be best for us to get far far away from her. 

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
2ninos4me
by 2blessings4me on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:18 PM
No. Im actually surprised that neither one of you used bad language ! Is easy to lose it when mad lol . Anyways , i hope you guys do well after u guys move out and finally feel relief :)
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mommy_to_abby18
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Yeah. I was trying my best to be on my best behavior.lol It will definetly be a relief!! :) 

Quoting 2ninos4me:

No. Im actually surprised that neither one of you used bad language ! Is easy to lose it when mad lol . Anyways , i hope you guys do well after u guys move out and finally feel relief :)


indymom72
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:32 PM
I think you handled it just fine.
ashleigh24
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:40 PM
I think you did a great job at handling it. That could have been so much worse. I honestly thought it was gonna get worse but it didn't. Good job on standing up for yourself!!!
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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:41 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't think you rude. I woould've stopped the texting much earlier. When she made the comment about removing things from the walls I just would've replied OK. I hate feeding drama (but know it's easy to get sucked in).
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mommy_to_abby18
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:45 PM

BUMP!

mommy_to_abby18
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:47 AM

BUMP!

BLRiley
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:53 AM
Wow!!! She obviously doesn't find herself compatible with you. No. You were being honest and certainly NOT rude. It really is obvious that she doesn't like you and just wants to give herself reasons, so that she can make her attitude towards you justifiable to her. It's human nature. She isn't and isn't willing to be compatable with you. I say GOOD RIDDANCE!! You don't need that stress in your life. She is a source of that.
mommy_to_abby18
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:01 AM

This is what I thought, but I wanted to see if I was overlooking something. If I was being mean and not realizing it.

Quoting BLRiley:

Wow!!! She obviously doesn't find herself compatible with you. No. You were being honest and certainly NOT rude. It really is obvious that she doesn't like you and just wants to give herself reasons, so that she can make her attitude towards you justifiable to her. It's human nature. She isn't and isn't willing to be compatable with you. I say GOOD RIDDANCE!! You don't need that stress in your life. She is a source of that.


Marimaru
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:26 PM

I don't think you were particularly rude, but I don't think it is at all appropriate to have a conversation like that over text.  I think too much can get lost between not using full language, and not being able to hear the tone in a person's voice.

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