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I cant explain why BF is important to me to my DH

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:08 PM
  • 32 Replies
He is wanting to know why its so important for me to try and make BF work with our newborn. He knows the obvious. He wants to know why I personally want to give it all I can. He keeps asking me the " real reason" BF is so important to me.

I broke down today. BF hasn't been easy. DH broke out the breast pump. He is constantly talking about how a bottle would be easier. How he doesn't like to be tied down to a time limit of a "2 hr BF schedule for a year" I'm thinking he thinks this is supposed to be easier.I can just pump bottles for the week when.we want to go out.


I get emotional. I just had my baby three weeks ago. I'm overwhelmed. My boobs hurt. My.nipples hurt. I am tired and still recovering. Baby and I are just starting to get the BF down. So today I ran to the bathroom to cry when he asked me if BF was too hard right now. I can't explain exactly why.
DH thinks that it goes deeper than BF. He mentioned how it.didn't work out with my first.two ( not his)
This is so frustrating!
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by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tyrelsmom
by Gold Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Well, he's definitely not being helpful.
Just remember it's well worth the often sucky beginning stages.
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wonderwomanT08
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:14 PM
How long does the pain last?!?


Quoting tyrelsmom:

Well, he's definitely not being helpful.

Just remember it's well worth the often sucky beginning stages.

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wonderwomanT08
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Oops..wasn't done. I think he thinks he is.being helpful


Quoting wonderwomanT08:

How long does the pain last?!?




Quoting tyrelsmom:

Well, he's definitely not being helpful.


Just remember it's well worth the often sucky beginning stages.


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TiffanyMarie80
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:21 PM

You need to communicate with him - let him know that his line of questioning isn't helpful, even though he might think it is.  Tell him you need him to be supportive, and then send him to kellymom.com to look up articles on feeding a newborn  :)  THOSE would be helpful. 

tyrelsmom
by Gold Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:22 PM
The pain lasted a couple weeks.with my first. Only a few days with the others.
Has the latch been checked and has your baby been checked for a tongue tie? Some pain at the beginning can be normal, but it's always good to make sure there's nothing wrong that's causing it.
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wonderwomanT08
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:24 PM
It just mostly hurts at first when my boobs are full. Sometimes he does suck the he'll out of me and that.hurts


Quoting tyrelsmom:

The pain lasted a couple weeks.with my first. Only a few days with the others.

Has the latch been checked and has your baby been checked for a tongue tie? Some pain at the beginning can be normal, but it's always good to make sure there's nothing wrong that's causing it.

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sbell719
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this
Breastfeeding is hard for the first couple of weeks. Three weeks is generally about the time it starts getting easier. Your DH needs to lay off you. You will not be tied down by a 2 hour feeding schedule for the next year...that is ridiculous.
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Punkslilncs
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 12:34 PM

My daughter is milk protein allergic, and my son has a lactose allergy, so when I couldn't breast feed them, I cried and cried. There is an emotional bond you get from breastfeeding. It is better for the child, and you also get to spend some serious one on one eye contact. I was raving like a lunatic even monkies can do this, why can't I sorta thing. So heart broken, and people just didn't get it. 

Just keep trying know it is important to you and that is all that matters. Call the leche legue if you need help or support. 

lcplaygroupie
by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:16 PM
First of all CONGRATS on the new baby! I had my second almost 3 weeks ago, too.

Like the previous poster said you need to talk to hubby and let him know that yes it has been hard but he is making it much harder. And it IS totally worth it! As for the pain, I would definitely talk to a lactation consultant or La Leche League. For me the first week or so was painful but after that we were good. And what does your husband mean by being "tied to a 2 hour schedule" YOU are the one feeding the baby. And newborn feedings are the most frequent so it won't really be every 2 hours the entire year, especially in a few months when you start solids. It sounds to me like your husband (like a lot of people) just doesn't believe that breastfeeding really works. My family was like that with my first and all I could do was feed my son the best way i could and prove them wrong. Now with my second they're totally supportive. But it was soooo frustrating because everytime I had even a minor issue there was always someone there to say I told you so. Hang in there!
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aimhawk
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 1:36 PM


Breastfeeding is hard, especially at first. It gets easier. We've been nursing for a year & 3 weeks. I was only able to go 2 months with my first. Join us in the Breastfeeding Moms group, lovely ladies with all sorts of advice and experience.

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